June Bug

I was speaking to someone at church today. She is a very friendly Japanese lady who played a role in translating a contract drafted by STF with the program I am involved with. It is amazing to see how the network of God's work. Our conversation was intriguing as she mentioned certain issues of identity. Me being stubborn to my belief, was challenged.

Whether you agree or not, we strive for the ideal. That is why we introduce concepts of the ideal in our personal life and society. Nevertheless, humans are plagued by sin, and its downfall is that we think too highly about ourselves. We tend to generalize and stereotype others, but are we aware that we are also submitting ourselves to be a stereotype too?

Many would think that we are done with identity issues once we pass our mid 20s, but in fact, our identities are often challenged as we are easily swayed to how people think of us. In my short weeks in America, I learned that discrimination still exist. People try not do let ethnicity be a "problem," nevertheless, they categorize humans based on their background, socioeconomic power, the way they speak, etc. It is rather puzzling that even though America is a country of immigrants regardless of skin color, people still classify themselves to where their ancestors originated. Maybe they are taking pride in their roots, maybe they are insecure of who they are.

I call myself a Malaysian because I hold firm to the ideal that although my ancestors were immigrants to the country, I find my identity as a person born in that country, a country where racial harmony ideally exist, that I am a product of an ideally multiracial and multicultural community and nation. I can not deny my biological composition and features that I am Chinese, but I would never consent to be called (mainland) Chinese. I value my cultural background and traditions, but I find I am more inclined to be the "copy-amalgamate-excel" mentality and perfectionist culture of the Japanese. However, it does not end there. My strive to be recognize as an individual stems only from a western thought. Thus, with a complex structure, how would I classify myself? Social class or earning power? Hah! Being back in academia, that hardly means anything.

My standing is that I am Suemae, just like a Japanese child who is asked, "Are you Chinese?" "I don't know." "Are you Korean?" "I don't know." "What are you, then?" "I am Ken." Although this simple child may grow up and start searching for his identity and only find that he belongs with the Japanese community, I have been through that every time I move into a new context. I find my identity in Christ and the rest, although defines my background, does not control who I choose to be. I wish to live my life respecting each individual I encounter for who they are and not by the cultural baggages they carry (although sometimes some do fall into the stereotypes, which I would leave that for another discourse). Kids do not care who they are friends with, only until people tell them. Their perceptions and orientations about others are the products of people inflicting discriminating thoughts on them. Isn't it sad?

Someone once mentioned that I am like a wild lily, being able to take root and grow wherever I am. I have been in enough changes of environments that I am starting to see that the compliment carries truth. Nonetheless, I am only human, and without the grace from above, I would never be able to do it on my own. Even though I am in a new context and environment, i still find joy in sharing memories with new friends. I would say it is a blessing indeed.

I attended a very traditional Japanese church worship service at a large church in downtown Chicago today. The service was exactly the same as most churches in Japan and even the fellowship that followed after resembled those I was familiar with. It was a nice day for a drive and on our way back, we stopped by MITSUWA, a Japanese supermarket with a Japanese foodcourt. I had a piece of my Japan today and could not help but smile to myself.

Thank you, CD. Thank you, JD.