Eeek! Oh no! How now? What can I do?

"NO!!! NO WAY!" I thought to myself as I saw a strand of silver white hair on my clothes as I got ready this morning. "This is not mine. It is too long. It'd better not be mine."

The last thing on my mind before I fell asleep last night and the very first thing that plagued my mind the moment I open my eyes was MONEY. This is sad and very pathetic. Tuition is due today and I have been busy working out my finances for a whole week. I finally got things straightened out to some point of understanding, but unless I see it in print on my bill, I guess I am still pretty anxious about it. My classes for the coming year is somewhat finalized, there is a rough estimation for my bill from student accounts, I need to cover textbooks, insurance, and micellaneous expenses on my own, but it would be really helpful if Financial Aid awards me the full amount (if not more) of the additional grant. With the savings I have (that needs to go into my tuition), things are looking pretty tight.

There will be no compromise that I have to work for the rest of the money, but calculating the hourly pay I am receiving and the maximum hours I am allowed to work, I am in doubt whether I am able to make the estimated amount that goes into my stipulated funding. Am I thinking too much? Am I giving myself unnecessary stress? Am I counting the chicks before the eggs hatch? Having my classes finalized, I have a rough idea of how many hours I might have during the day for work. However, since work on campus for me only comes on a "come-in-when-needed" basis, will I even be able to cover half of the hours I am allowed to work? The calculations in my head is driving me nuts.

I know I should not be worrying too much. He who is faithful has brought me here and has always provided for my every need thus far. Why worry?

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.---Matthew 5:25-34

I know this well enough, but I guess I do lack in faith. Do pray for me as I commit these in petition to Him who is love.

• All scholarships, grants, and finacial aid will come through.
• I will be able to secure fixed hours, hopefully the maximum, of campus work during the semester.
• Enough students will sign up for the Japanese class on campus where I will be able to tutor/substitute/teach.
• I will be able to secure teaching/substitute teaching positions in the district soon (providing that I pass my upcoming basic skills test and certification for bilingual teaching).
• Proper money management that I will be frugal and spend wisely.