Monday, January 21, 2008

私は干物女?(Am I a 'himono-ona'?)

Am I wasting away my youth as a female? Shouldn't I be going on dates and wrap myself in the popular notion of love and romance? Please do not get me wrong, even though I have my agenda in going after my dreams, I am just like any other girl who would like to have someone, but I am not all out in throwing myself at every guy or jumping into every possibility. Going after guys is not really my priority. I just hope that some would be able to leave me alone if I choose to spend my free time relaxing at home, or doing something I like on my own (company welcomed, of course).

With my attitude towards the subject, I guess there will be a few out there who worry that I might turn into a 「干物女」 (himono-ona). This is a term made popular by the Japanese TV drama called ホタルのヒカリ(Hotaru no Hikari) which was released in Summer 2007. The literal translation to the word 「干物女」is a "dried fish/dried up woman." It defines a woman who finds everything troublesome and does things superficially with lack of care. In the series, the term describes women of their late 20s to 30s with the following characteristics:

1. Short and slow replies for phone emails/text messages.
2. Simple and easy meals are taken standing in the kitchen.
3. Puts on no make-up and has no plans during weekends and holidays.
4. Has the habit of saying of "It's troublesome" "Whatever (goes)" "Well, whatever/however one thinks fit (normally refers to something that it is done without much care or thought)"
5. Hair removal is only done during summer.
6. Have not been to a beauty parlour/hair dresser for more than 6 months.
7. Tip-toes into the house with shoes on when she forgets something (big no-no for Japanese culture).

Well, I admit I am guilty for few of the above, but in comparison to the heroine in the series, I think I am not THAT bad. I have my priorities, that's all. The focus of the word, however, relates to a young woman who just gave up or do not put effort in being a woman, preparing and exposing herself to falling in love. According to this added information, many would jump to concluding that I am a 「干物女」 then.

In my defense, I am just like any other girl. I do get love sick and long to have someone. Close friends know that I would like to marry young and settle down soon (without compromising on my goals and dreams). Nevertheless, I am just not too keen on going out with guys who would be a waste of my time. I am not THAT arrogant, but I do have a set of priorities when it comes to finding the right guy. I wish not to waste the resources of mine and others, or to hurt someone if after a long time it does not work out for either of us. I would only fall in love with someone who has the criteria/potential to be my husband and father to my children. I do make the effort to look good everyday, and give the extra mile when I have a date (important date). Knowing that I have a date and that a date went well is a total ego boost for me. At least I know that I am still a young woman and have my attraction(s).

There are those who know that I am have high expectations for my guy, all I can say is that this will be the guy who I will spend the rest of my life with, of course I get to be as picky as I wish. After all, I am not too bad myself, had my share of admirers, and had people's parents expressing how they hope that their sons would be able to have someone like me. Looking for love (extensively)? I am not THAT desperate, yet.

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