Bah to you... The lack of exposure, uncivilized and uneducated!

People often claim that they are misunderstood. I am no exception to that. I admit that my first impression is often one that reflects little of who I truly am. Many have who are now close friends would often recall their first impression of me as a "prim and proper princess, fashionable, well-dressed, and carries herself in a way depicting that she is from a well-to-do background, and from the way she talks (if she does open her mouth on the first occasion being friendly) arrogant and seemingly knows a little too much." Maybe I am like such. I can not control what people think of me, but could only hope that by getting to know me, they would come to see that I am like I am, unpredictable to the common thought and experience.

I was out for lunch with a new found friend on Sunday at a decent Portuguese restaurant (The deco, table settings, and service was decent enough to classify this place as a restaurant in contrast to a coffee shop). He is a westerner/Caucasian, mid to late 30s, and many would consider not the best looking guy around. All that did not matter to me. I just wanted to hang out with English speakers with a compatible mindset and philosophy, being able to cope with this bunny just as she is. I was dressed up like usual and was behaving totally like myself in expressions and words. I received compliments from my lunch counterpart and we did have a good time. Until...

There was this table of Chinese sitting not too far away from us. They were loud and I could not help but notice them eyeing towards our table. At some point, I overheard someone from their party (they were that loud) said in Cantonese, "...mainland Chinese girls with foreigners... she could be... she speaks English... " Sparing you the details of what was being said and getting straight to the point, I was considered as a mainland Chinese prostitute who is only interested in foreigners for sex and money.

Wow! That was incredible. The only people who could speak fluent Cantonese and make such comments would either be a local Macanese, Chinese, someone from Hong Kong or some south east Asian country that has Chinese influence and heritage (I am mentioning these groups of people for I know people in such context who thinks likewise). The context of their allegation was shallow and rude, and I wondered how educated these people are. Giving the benefit of the doubt, I started on a self check. My attire for the day was decent as I was at church in the morning, and I did dress like such before hanging out with my friends who a few gave me an approving nod that I look nice. I was totally myself and did not even try to flirt with the guy I was with. So, what gave them that thought? Friends, do I actually (or ever) look like a whore trying to get a cheap fix with a foreigner?

Am I being stereotyped like such simply because I have very east Asian features? Are people who look like me not allowed to have a good time with someone who does not share my ethnicity on the basis that we enjoy each other's personality and are able to share a good decent conversation? I am just appalled. Like mentioned in the beginning, I can not control what people thinks of me, but I am astonished that the locals, or Chinese who were exposed to a foreign mindset through the colonization of the English and Portuguese, and even those from my home country, city folks with a possible western education could actually think like such. All I can be is upset (for now) but it is not my fault for I did nothing wrong. What I can do is truly not care what others think of me for they are in no position to judge, or for me to judge them. I just pray that we all could be enlightened and share the love of God.

I guess my Asian roots still have a strong hold on me as I do care about what the immediate community thinks of me, and I try to abide by the social rules only because I wish to love and respect others around me. However, if I do bend to conform to an issue like the above, does it mean that I would never find a possible love in someone of a different ethnicity? I am blessed with friends from all over the world, and I have been told that with my strength, personality, philosophy and mentality, I am better off sharing the rest of my life with some one who would love me for who I am, embracing my uniqueness which is highly compatible with a westerner/Caucasian. I can not change how I look (I am not talking about the way I dress but the fact that my facial features do reflect that I am someone who looks very Asian). Should I opt for being very plain then, or start looking like someone who has only been exposed to a western background? I refuse to conform. If I do, I will not be the bunny that people know and love me as.

Thus, to you rude and shallow people out there... BITE ME! KISS MY A**!