Jaded Apprehension

Embark on a new relationship only when you are ready.

Clarity, transparency, and truthfulness are highly valued whenever I make a new acquaintance, and these are also much emphasized when dealing with potential love interests. Starting a new friendship is often easier as we ideally embrace each other just the way we are; however, this approach is not commonly shared when it comes to romance and dating as our past relationships often complicates matters for everyone. Therefore, unless one is ready to let go, have proper closure, and willing to start afresh with the heart, mind, and will for a new relationship, he or she should refrain from getting others involved for the risk of hurting every party is too great.

We all have baggages from our past. How deep and close we were to our previous love(s) is reflected in how we deal with the relationship when it ends. It is only human understanding that the more in hurt shows how much we really cared for each other. Nevertheless, does this mean that we should hold on, even if it was just the good, to what was cherished most? Could we not choose the option of clearing things, pack them up, and store them in the depths of our memories, only to look back years later for the good that it helped us grow stronger and understand what we trully seek for in finding our life-long companion? Why don't we throughly close or finish that chapter in our love book and move on with a new one with fresh beginnings? It is often easier said than done, as mere humans, we find security to familiarity in what we had, thinking that it was the best of times, fearing that there would not be a better one in the future.

I do not lack of such exposure and have now chose to be clean and clear cut with the whole notion of "falling in love." (Maybe a little too much as I have been commented that my choice reflects only reason and seem reflect "machanical-love" instead of the much desired "passionate/spur-of-the-moment" kind of love.) Being an idealist, I believe that every new relationship should be true. This can only happen if the focus is on the present but yet embracing the past to have a deeper understanding in order to be able to love one another for who they are. Passion would then stem from such transparency in each other with a walk that truly belongs to this couple and theirs only. If I do hold on to my past, it would only be a hinderance, as it gives grounds for comparison and expectations for the new other, making him or her an item of mere consolation and self-gratification. No proper conversation or a dance of love would exist.

For the sake of being able to truly fall in love again, I have taken the extreme which is often thought mean and heartless, as I totally severe every possible thing that links me with a past relationship. It is often harsh and often not easy to heal from; however, for the sake of being fair to myself and my future love, it is a step that I have chosen. It takes time, endurance, and one will receive criticisms and pre-judgments from others. Many would not understand, but I am weak and my heart needs to be straigthened out and the cobwebs cleared before I am able to give my all in a new relationship. Yes, time is indeed needed and having someone who understands that this is what needs to be done while being patient. loving, and supportive is the ideal for moving on. How many of us out there who are willing to wait, or be so fortunate to be blessed with someone like such?

We all need to straighten out our closets and deal with the skeletons that hide inside. Time, patience, and a helping hand would ease the project. It will be accomplished and over someday. I think I have made things complicated than ever, but the understanding of love is simple, and yet we need to be able to handle such complexities to truly grasp the concept to make it come through straightforward and simple, that it sticks fast to the essence of true love. Till then, I will wait patiently and look forward to the day when the clouds have cleared, letting through the warm sunshine and breeze to allow the love boat to sail again. From there, we will be able to embark on a new journey together in search of true happiness.