Encountering Grace

Without the encounter of grace, I reckon I would have turned out to be a real pain in the neck and very much disliked by many. I would be arrogant and proud with lack of understanding or able to be compassionate to empathize or sympathize with others. Receiving help from others will be out of the question as it would be misunderstood as I am being pitied by others. My expectations and demands from others would be too high as I would think "If I can do it, anyone can" without considering the diversity in background and skills that each person brings to the table. I would be so full of myself and never able to appreciate what others have done for me.

I have no choice but to handle whatever the cards that are dealt to me. The process is not a bed of flowers most of the time, but I am thankful that I come out of the situation with an increase in maturity, skills sharpened, and/or talents discovered. Even though I know that challenges do me good, I can not help but hope in some way that I do not have to go through so much. I often am concerned that the stronger I become, the less I am able to empathize with others making me a stuck up pompous a**. (Hmm, maybe to some extent, I am.)

However, it is through the very challenging times that I am often broken down and understand that it is not always all about me and what I can do on my own. I am not an emotionless ice-queen who is able to take in merciless beatings of life without the support and encouragement of others. Even though there are many times when it does seem like I am all alone, but it is through the prayers, support, and encouragement of others, through every little conversation with people who are unaware of it most of the time, or through the gesture of kindness with a passerby that helps me sustain my sanity and focus in overcoming each obstacle thrown my way.

I often wonder whether anyone really cares about me. Being told that I am a rather difficult person, I hardly think anyone would like me just the way I am. But the fact is, there are people who care for me when I least expect it. "It sure feels nice when you have touched someone and you did not know about it," mentions a friend. Yes, it does. I guess being lost in my thoughts thinking otherwise is some form of humility that comes with the encounter of grace.

Grace. It is rather fascinating. I wish not to be pious but I invite you to discover this gift given to those so undeserving. I believe you can not separate love from grace, or the other way around. Certain things just go hand in hand and should be understood together in order to grasp the big picture.