Overcoming Shock

A person would be considered a close friend (in contrast to "hi-bye" acquaintances or those who we share some common ground and interest) when he or she has been through and know how to handle me when I am in my mood swings, upset/angry/pissed off, and has seen me cry. (Well, I guess only those who are in the closest circle of friends who are like family has seen me cry.) I have a new one to add into my list, if you can handle me when I am in shock (with a situation, statement, encounter...), consider yourself a good and close friend. Am I exaggerating? No. I know I am a difficult person, and those who can truly handle me are blessed people with a BIG heart filled with patience, maturity, and love. I am always thankful for people like you as I was told that a person like me will never have friends. You guys rock!

With all that life has served me on my plate thus far, it takes A LOT to truly see a strong emotion on my face. Unless the situation are of the extreme, my facial expressions will generally be limited to the usual "Suemae look." (I have been making an effort in being more compassionate about how people expect me to express myself in a more "popular" manner. But hey, I have been exposed to quite a good share of ups and downs... I am trying to be more approachable in showing how I feel to your preference. [It sounds bad, but even though I do not show it, I understand how you feel.])

My verbal expression to the situation also depends on how much it bugs me. I have not been throwing any obvious tantrums since, possibly, I was 10. However, if you do not know by now, I do whine and complain very much. If you ask, be prepared that your ears would be sore for I will tell you exactly what I think or how I feel (with exceptions that I will read the situation and say what I think people can handle from me). Since I can not release the stress like the good old days of breaking a good sweat at Taekwondo or baking, let me let the steam out verbally. I try not to cuss that much, but I just need to get it out of my system, talk about it, etc. At times like such, the best thing you can do is just let me say whatever I wish. Do not try to tell me your opinions for it will only make the situation worse, and I might end up being annoyed at you. After I am done with the tongue lashing, I will be ok. Most of the time, there is very little I can do about the immediate situation, but I always accept how things are for the time being and make the most out of it with the following philosophy.

"There is always something to learn, improve on, and master (in any situation)"
"If it doesn't kill you, it only makes you stronger."
"It is only through the difficult times/things that I do not like, that I will truly learn how to appreciate the things I have/had."

As my big relocation day draws near, I am going to face a lot of things that I am not used to and am not going to like. You are warned.

I thank God for the few wonderful people He has gracefully given me who I know I can be just the way I am and share whatever with them. Anyone who wishes to understand me better are more than welcome to ask, I will try to behave myself by being not too much of myself for those who might not be able to handle the whole "bunny-package."