A Wave of Uncontrollable Emotions

I slept in this morning, still in my dress clothes from the day before. I have been waiting for at least a phone call that might make everything better, but my cell phone did not ring at all. I stayed under the covers, reached for my book, and read it till the very end. The touching story brought tears to my eyes and I have never felt more alone.

It was about 1:30 when I finally got myself out of bed. I need to be in contact with someone, I need a shower, I need to get stuff off my mind. I packed my stuff for the gym and end up at the office as I missed my stop. Too lazy to walk to a proper restaurant or see anyone as I did not have any make-up on, I settled for instant noodles bought at the nearby supermarket.

I set up my computer at the office and was soon slurping away instant noodles as I check my emails. A close friend came online and we were soon chatting away. It was nice to hear from her again, but somehow the conversation had an adverse effect on me. It was not her fault, but it is just my natural reaction to the disappointments I have towards my past. I thought I have made a closure to my past, but it seems that the thoughts and action of this person still has a grasp on me, mainly because we are family. It would have been better if I had not know. There is some joy of being ignorant. I don't know; thus I would not be bothered to care.

Maybe it is because I am at the point in life where everything is a challenge and I simply hate it. All I want is for someone to understand and maybe, someone who I truly wish to see will be here to cheer me up. Tears started to flow and I find myself crying at my desk adding to the messy look I am already in. It was indeed a pathetic sight.

I am trying my best to regain my composure. It is about time I wrapped up at the office. I need a shower, and maybe there I will be able to gather up my thoughts. I tried picking up the phone to talk to someone, but due to the time difference, I might be intrusive and imposing. Time to be strong bunny. It is getting late, I had better go.