Thursday, November 27, 2008

THANKSGIVING

This holiday is a very intriguing concept to me.

(1) Historically, it would be a day of remembering how the Indians helped the pilgrims settle in the new land, teaching them how to grow corn and the sharing of food. But the immigrants killed most of the natives and drove them out of the land of their forefathers.

(2) People now have the whole traditional Thanksgiving spread. (I had the chance to have 3 Thanksgiving meal: on campus, at church, and at Colleen's place.) Turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce, gravy, mashed potatoes, pumpkin pie/dish, green bean casserole... It is a day where people stuff themselves as they stuffed the bird.

(3) Some hold this day sacred as they frown that commercial places have placed Christmas decorations once the Halloween decor came down. In fear that people would forget this important day, some insist on only having the tree put up, listening to carols... after the Thanksgiving meal or during Thanksgiving weekend.

(4) Black Friday, the day after Thanksgiving and the Christmas shopping begins. An American shopping phenomenon when the sales in the stores cross over from the red to black. It is this time of the year where retail stores make the most of their sales during the pre-Christmas season. Stores have sales beginning from 4am to 1pm! I guess this would resemble the British 'tradition' of Boxing day.

Thanksgiving was a welcomed break as Judson started the holidays from Wednesday. Even so, I am glad because this gave me a few days off classes and I could work on my homework and assignment before the crashing final 2 weeks of the semester. Thus, this year, though honored that I was extended a few invitations to spend my first "real" Thanksgiving, I spent it at Colleen's as she was the closest to family I have here. It was fun to be in a home and spent the whole day stuffing myself. The appetizers were served at 3 and dinner at 5. After dinner, there was a huge spread of dessert and we had a gingerbread-house-making/decorating competition. The 21 of us who came for the dinner had fun being kids again. After we got back to campus, my roommates and I put up the itty-bitty Christmas tree we had and I cut out some paper snowflakes for decorations and the windows.

I do have much to be thankful for this year. Who would have imagined that I would actually be in Chicago right now? I am thankful that God plants a desire in my heart and He provided according to His will. It is not easy at all, but I am learning to rely on His grace and faithfulness. I am a little bummed as I am focusing on my selfish wants and fail to see how blessed I am in the big picture. I have my health, my stubborn energy to press on with my work/studies, little to no money for indulgence, and I have wonderful people placed in my life. I need help with a few other areas of my life which I am having little to no faith now... but yeah, in all things and circumstances, be thankful upon the Lord, for He is great.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!

Friday, November 14, 2008

My 200th Post!

Thank you for your support and prayers. I congratulate you for bearing with my rantings and crazy adventures.

I have not written for what seems like ages now. Busy is an understatement, but somehow in between all of my workload, I can still find time to procrastinate and laze around a bit. My thoughts are constantly stimulated with my studies and cross-cultural experiences, but most of all with my physical pangs of security to my future and dreams. The trees are almost all barren now with the icy rains. The colors of autumn are pretty much gone leaving everything is shades of grey before the anticipated blankets of snow. The schema just exaggerates the cold and lonely feeling of the season.

However, in contrast to the fluctuating coldness of the outside, I am feeling the chippy-est ever this semester. My moods are lifted to those experienced in summer. Yup, one could even catch a sparkle in my eye! Over the past 2 weeks, I have reached the point of exhaustion. I talked to Dr. D telling him that I am buring out with the madness of the semester. We came to a concensus that maybe a compromise might not be a bad thing after all.

Now you know how much I HATE the word "compromise." Why should I discount myself from my potentials and abilities? You know we should not waste! Nevertheless, I have learned that me being a perfectionist has been the cause of most of my stress. I am fairly aware that I cannot do everything, and by addressing that problem, I am lowering the expectations I have for myself to a more reasonable level. My burden was somewhat lifted when I say "Hang the grades!!!" What is more important is that I am learning something and enjoying it, rather than stressing myself over coursework that aims to equipped the young and inexperienced. It is prideful and arrogant for me to say this, but I guess I have established my credibility that even my mediocre work would still rank the top in my classes. But then again, I have already gone through college once and with the accumulated knowledge, there is no reason why I should not be doing well, if not better.

I must be doing something right for my advisor and professors agree to my decision and are glad that I "look" much better now. I was even selected by my most favorite professor here for a school honor. I have no idea what I did or how I did it, but I was extended a pretigious invitation to serve the school and gain valuable experience in my field. Your prayers are really paid off and I am eternally grateful.

November has reached its midway point now and it is only less than a month before the semester ends. My workload, assignments due, and finals are snowballing with the weeks to come. I look forward to Thanksgiving and the Christmas Break. The challenges will only get harder the coming semester and I know that I will only be able to survive by the walk of faith and living by grace. A comprehensive prayer list will be written this year instead of a Christmas wish list. Without your support, I could have never made it thus far. Thank you!

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

It is November and I need to vent...

Busy would not suffice for my lack of communicating lately. I am busy and have tonnes of work to be completed, but I am slowly burning out. My mind wonders and I seek pleasures in my addiction of online games. I technically spent 75% of my time outside class sitting in front of a computer. I am easily distracted. I play TALISMANIA. My addiction is bad, I will keep playing the game for hours, at work or while doing homework with the excuse that I am taking a break... Yeah, a break that goes for at least 1.5 hours!!!

Many things have been eating my mind and concentration, too many in fact that when I think about letting them out even I would find myself crazy and disorganized with the bulk load of random thoughts. I would like to just sit down and spill my guts out. Not just to anyone, but someone who seriously cares. I don't deny it. I am seeking for attention, but one that is responsive and that my audience do give a d@mn about what I think and feel. I miss...

... going on a date. I miss going out with someone (regardless gender and proximity) who is really interested to get to know me better, how I am keeping, is not judgmental, and find my rants and thought amusing or maybe entertaining even. I miss my evening walks, my English and grammar class, my sit in the parks, having a meal or coffee together... Joy, the RA, came by yesterday and gave me coffee since places were giving out free food and drinks for voters. She passed me a latte from Starbucks. I looked at the take out cup that adorned with Christmas designs... sigh! Just a year ago, I would have been having coffee at the best tasting Starbucks nation with people I would rather spend all my time with--loved ones and decent dates.

The closest I have to going on a date and having cute guys around is reading to JJ this morning. He's two and he is adorable... so are my reading buddy and the 5th graders I teach. Yup, the men in my life. How exciting! And I am feeling some pressure from a recent email dad sent.

Man! What a morning! The morning after the election. Many have ask how I think about it and how it affects me. Seriously, I would say I am indifferent to the whole ordeal but am only interested to see how the ripple of its effects would affect me. For starters, my roomies and I were never that united to watch TV right into the wee hours of the morning on a week night. All 4 of us were found in bed this morning. (B has been sleeping in the living room for the past 10 days to 2 weeks as she was working on her senior project, and Colleen has been away since Friday.) The other thing was that I really do not have a taste for politics but take interest in how it will affect me as an international student and a future teacher. Thus I look at issues of education and foreign policy/immigration. With a campaign promises of reformation, I would say that I lean towards Obama, but then again, it is only in the weight of the words of a politician. I only look forward to what is going to happen.

The aforementioned are just a glimpse of the tip of the iceberg the pandemonium in my head. I just need to unload and hopefully find someone I am comfortable speak to. I can only do so much with Skype but it would mean the world to me if there is just someone who would sit down right here, right now, and engage...
IS ANYONE OUT THERE???