Cheers to you, Rajiv! May you be blessed with happiness!
Friday, February 29, 2008
A Tribute to a Brother
March marks a month of reunion and celebration. I will be leaving for UK within the week to reunite with family. Apart from spending time with the big sister, I will be there to witness the begining of a new journey in the life of my beloved big brother, Rajiv. In lieu of his wedding this March 15, allow me to pay tribute to one of the best guy I have known in sharing the memories I have of him. Enjoy the slideshow on the side panel. Do feel free to to click on it or visit the album for captions and leaving comments.
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Never Say Never
Each of us have preferences and wants in life. Interpreted in a different light, it reflects the degree and extent of arrogance and pride within us. It is through such choices that defines who we are; nevertheless, you will have to agree with me that certain preference and choices we make are not the most logical nor the best.
Taking the most common example of finding the other half: many of us would probably have a list of likes and dislikes. There is nothing wrong to be picky about it, after all, we hope to find someone who we will share the rest of our lives with. However, do seriously consider whether the criteria listed mirror sense or sensibility. Be it one's life companion or the food that one eats, thinking what is more important would also help define how much one is willing to compromise and one's ability to be reasonable.
I am no stranger to the above. There are so many things that I say that I would never do, but somehow I did give in. As a matter of fact, certain of such choices has a better outcome, and some did prove that it was my initial choice could be irrational and arrogant. Just to show that I am human and far from perfect, allow me to share with you incidents for a good laugh.
Pink is not my color. Growing up as a tom-boy, the color pink sends shivers down my spine. Choosing an item of that color is unthinkable. If I do have to wear something in pink, images of marshmallows start dancing in my head. However, for one of my birthday gifts, my close friends got together and gave me a two piece pink outfit. I thought I would never wear it, but out of a tease, I did wear it to a party once and many complimented that I look lovely in pink. Reevaluating myself in the mirror a few times, I have to agree with them. Now, although pink is still not my first choice, but I know I look good in it and would pick the color as it compliments me.
I would never tell a guy that I like him and it would take a long time into the relationship before I would actually tell him so. This is just me and sheer arrogance. I believe that it would be too "easy" for him and reflects how desperate I am. Most guys know once they have captured your heart or attention, they would start slacking. They have "caught" you, the thrill is gone, thus why bother to put in any more effort? If I do like him, I would be nice enough to drop him enough hints, but come on! I have a big ego and would never make the first move. But hey, circumstances do get the better of us at times, and I have relented on this before.
Also, I would never have a relationship with a guy who is considered good looking in the common eye. All men are heartless, and those who know that he is good looking are the worst. Maybe my precaution to getting myself disappointed and hurt is a wee bit higher than the average, but I have seen it happen enough times to be careful. Nevertheless, I give myself a slap on the wrist for this one too.
Finally, I hate cleaning. (Laughs! Yeah, right!) I dislike household chores and cleaning when I was growing up. I dread it when told that I have to clean stuff up. I would make the scene look neat, but would avoid actually picking up utensils to start cleaning rooms and clearing my stuff. However, I did sign up for a part-time job in cleaning once, and the moment I started, I was very particular in getting everything spotless. I am lazy, but when I do take time to clean, I would really get it done, Monica style!
So, yeah... Even though I do not fully agree with friends who are superstitious to say that if one voices out their dislike or preferences strongly, it would turn out otherwise, I would agree to the extent that circumstances do change a person. Seriously, never say never, for you really do not know what lies ahead.
Taking the most common example of finding the other half: many of us would probably have a list of likes and dislikes. There is nothing wrong to be picky about it, after all, we hope to find someone who we will share the rest of our lives with. However, do seriously consider whether the criteria listed mirror sense or sensibility. Be it one's life companion or the food that one eats, thinking what is more important would also help define how much one is willing to compromise and one's ability to be reasonable.
I am no stranger to the above. There are so many things that I say that I would never do, but somehow I did give in. As a matter of fact, certain of such choices has a better outcome, and some did prove that it was my initial choice could be irrational and arrogant. Just to show that I am human and far from perfect, allow me to share with you incidents for a good laugh.
Pink is not my color. Growing up as a tom-boy, the color pink sends shivers down my spine. Choosing an item of that color is unthinkable. If I do have to wear something in pink, images of marshmallows start dancing in my head. However, for one of my birthday gifts, my close friends got together and gave me a two piece pink outfit. I thought I would never wear it, but out of a tease, I did wear it to a party once and many complimented that I look lovely in pink. Reevaluating myself in the mirror a few times, I have to agree with them. Now, although pink is still not my first choice, but I know I look good in it and would pick the color as it compliments me.
I would never tell a guy that I like him and it would take a long time into the relationship before I would actually tell him so. This is just me and sheer arrogance. I believe that it would be too "easy" for him and reflects how desperate I am. Most guys know once they have captured your heart or attention, they would start slacking. They have "caught" you, the thrill is gone, thus why bother to put in any more effort? If I do like him, I would be nice enough to drop him enough hints, but come on! I have a big ego and would never make the first move. But hey, circumstances do get the better of us at times, and I have relented on this before.
Also, I would never have a relationship with a guy who is considered good looking in the common eye. All men are heartless, and those who know that he is good looking are the worst. Maybe my precaution to getting myself disappointed and hurt is a wee bit higher than the average, but I have seen it happen enough times to be careful. Nevertheless, I give myself a slap on the wrist for this one too.
Finally, I hate cleaning. (Laughs! Yeah, right!) I dislike household chores and cleaning when I was growing up. I dread it when told that I have to clean stuff up. I would make the scene look neat, but would avoid actually picking up utensils to start cleaning rooms and clearing my stuff. However, I did sign up for a part-time job in cleaning once, and the moment I started, I was very particular in getting everything spotless. I am lazy, but when I do take time to clean, I would really get it done, Monica style!
So, yeah... Even though I do not fully agree with friends who are superstitious to say that if one voices out their dislike or preferences strongly, it would turn out otherwise, I would agree to the extent that circumstances do change a person. Seriously, never say never, for you really do not know what lies ahead.
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Boredom Buster
My mind has not been in its best shape of late. I see myself wandering off and the bored feeling has drilled itself into the marrows of my spirit a number of times over the last week. Being not in the mood to work then, what do I do during my long hours in front of the computer?
Apart teasing my addiction of playing online games and catching up with my anime series, I do fiddle around surfing the net when I am not in the mood for blogging. Below are the list of things the bunny enjoys.
1. Google maps. "Brushing up on my geography" would be my excuse, but have you actually played around with this site and its features before? Apart from researches on places, I am amazed by the satellite images provided. I can see all the places I have been to and will be heading to. Zooming in as close as possible allows me to see as much as the airspace allowance given to these satellites. You can tease all you want, but I do enjoy the occasional fun of playing "Where's (location)?"
2. Reading. There is so much information at the touch of one's fingertips! You can Google-up almost anything under the sun. Wikipedia is another favorite site of mine. Just today, as I was eating breakfast, I was compelled to do a search on "century eggs." I enjoy a good bowl of congee/rice porridge (if is it not prepared by mom. She comes up with the weirdest ingredients and condiments that are not necessarily complementary to each other.) especially Century egg and Lean Pork congee (皮蛋瘦肉粥) that is very popular around this region. The urge of looking it up this morning was just to satisfy my curiosity whether century eggs are produced by dipping them the by-product of horses. Find out yourself! Hehehee...
3. Listening to readings, news and speeches. I remember my parents bought my sisters and I some books or magazines that came with cassettes when we were kids. I enjoyed listening to the stories as I read along silently tracing my finger on the text. During my English teaching days, I do encourage my students to such audio method to improve on their pronunciation, enunciation, speed, and intonation. I still practice this too. Years ago, a professor commented that she liked the way I read. Encouraged by that, I give credit to the free materials available that helped me a lot in improving my language skills.
The above are pretty much what I do use the Internet for. Occasionally, I do window shop around for good bargains, but it has been a while since I actually bought something. So, yeah, there is quite a lot to do staying online all day; nevertheless, I would choose the option of actually going somewhere doing something if possible.
Apart teasing my addiction of playing online games and catching up with my anime series, I do fiddle around surfing the net when I am not in the mood for blogging. Below are the list of things the bunny enjoys.
1. Google maps. "Brushing up on my geography" would be my excuse, but have you actually played around with this site and its features before? Apart from researches on places, I am amazed by the satellite images provided. I can see all the places I have been to and will be heading to. Zooming in as close as possible allows me to see as much as the airspace allowance given to these satellites. You can tease all you want, but I do enjoy the occasional fun of playing "Where's (location)?"
2. Reading. There is so much information at the touch of one's fingertips! You can Google-up almost anything under the sun. Wikipedia is another favorite site of mine. Just today, as I was eating breakfast, I was compelled to do a search on "century eggs." I enjoy a good bowl of congee/rice porridge (if is it not prepared by mom. She comes up with the weirdest ingredients and condiments that are not necessarily complementary to each other.) especially Century egg and Lean Pork congee (皮蛋瘦肉粥) that is very popular around this region. The urge of looking it up this morning was just to satisfy my curiosity whether century eggs are produced by dipping them the by-product of horses. Find out yourself! Hehehee...
3. Listening to readings, news and speeches. I remember my parents bought my sisters and I some books or magazines that came with cassettes when we were kids. I enjoyed listening to the stories as I read along silently tracing my finger on the text. During my English teaching days, I do encourage my students to such audio method to improve on their pronunciation, enunciation, speed, and intonation. I still practice this too. Years ago, a professor commented that she liked the way I read. Encouraged by that, I give credit to the free materials available that helped me a lot in improving my language skills.
The above are pretty much what I do use the Internet for. Occasionally, I do window shop around for good bargains, but it has been a while since I actually bought something. So, yeah, there is quite a lot to do staying online all day; nevertheless, I would choose the option of actually going somewhere doing something if possible.
Monday, February 25, 2008
What Lacks in Making the Real World Perfect is Background Music
Whether you are a drama queen or a romantic, there is no doubt that you would agree with this. I bet you there are moments when you just wished that music was resounding as you are doing something, just to make that moment more captivating and memorable. Being a huge theme park fan, I appreciate the music being played in the background makes reality of the moment fun. Just think about it, imagine how wonderful it would be taking a walk with your date down a promenade with a scenery and MUSIC!
I listen to music for relaxation and to quiet down the voices in my head during chill-out evenings and before bed. I am not a big fan of portable music as I would like to give my attention to my surroundings, especially when I am around familiar faces. However, I have started carrying music around with me since I started having long commutes on the silent trains in Japan. When I am not reading, it is often nice to have something to listen to nourish the soul. Over here, I generally have music with me all the time to shut out undesirable noises and use it in an attempt to modify reality.
The people culture over here still bums me out, and confronting this is a challenge, especially on my daily bus rides. I know this sounds absolutely arrogant, but I do prefer if people need to speak, they should speak with a suitable pitch, tone, and tongue, otherwise, silence is preferred. I am psychologically put off to the use of Cantonese. Due to my past experiences, somehow, I find the language rather loud and rude. Nevertheless, my ears are exposed to worse in the other Chinese dialects that are widely used by the bus commuters.
I am not being very approachable here in Macao. I just refuse to speak with others (except the few in my daily circle). It is a common sight to see this bunny with her plug-in earphones playing her favorite tunes drowning out everything around here, and having her sunnies on. Hear no "evil," speak no "evil," and see no "evil." I just happily psyche myself to take on my life here grooving to my own BGM.
I listen to music for relaxation and to quiet down the voices in my head during chill-out evenings and before bed. I am not a big fan of portable music as I would like to give my attention to my surroundings, especially when I am around familiar faces. However, I have started carrying music around with me since I started having long commutes on the silent trains in Japan. When I am not reading, it is often nice to have something to listen to nourish the soul. Over here, I generally have music with me all the time to shut out undesirable noises and use it in an attempt to modify reality.
The people culture over here still bums me out, and confronting this is a challenge, especially on my daily bus rides. I know this sounds absolutely arrogant, but I do prefer if people need to speak, they should speak with a suitable pitch, tone, and tongue, otherwise, silence is preferred. I am psychologically put off to the use of Cantonese. Due to my past experiences, somehow, I find the language rather loud and rude. Nevertheless, my ears are exposed to worse in the other Chinese dialects that are widely used by the bus commuters.
I am not being very approachable here in Macao. I just refuse to speak with others (except the few in my daily circle). It is a common sight to see this bunny with her plug-in earphones playing her favorite tunes drowning out everything around here, and having her sunnies on. Hear no "evil," speak no "evil," and see no "evil." I just happily psyche myself to take on my life here grooving to my own BGM.
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Do You Know Me? Do You Really Know Me?
A few weeks back, I fashioned the following quiz out of boredom. I decided to post it here and invite you to have little fun with it, in hopes that I would get some response from my blog readers. Since my mailbox has not been receiving any good mails of late, I am doing this just to make myself feel better. Leave your score (?/10) and your comments, ok? Have fun!
1. Let's start with an easy one. What is my name?
a- SueMae Foo
b- Suemae Foo
c- Su May Foo
d- Sue Mae Foo
2. I wear two rings on my right hand all the time. Who were they from?
a- Boyfriend and sister
b- Myself
c- Dad and boyfriend
d- Mom and sister
3. What would make a perfect gift for me?
a- Spend quality time with me over a meal
b- My favorite books that reflect true love and humanity
c- Buy me the latest must-haves
d- Jewellery: Diamond and platinum, of course!
4. What is my favorite quote?
a- "Love me, love my fat."
b- "I am crazy, but not stupid!"
c- "Murphy's Law: If anything could go wrong, it would."
d- "Come on, be a man!"
5. If I am rich, and you could not find me, I would most probably be...
a- on a cruise around the world.
b- sitting at the local stock exchange, watching my money roll.
c- experiencing life in Italy.
d- back in my alma mater and second home, Japan.
6. I am given a wish. What would be my strongest desire now?
a- Have a deep understanding and strong bond with my family.
b- Happily married to a man who loves me and have beautiful children.
c- Actively involved in an academic setting, teaching at a college.
d- Be financially secure and independant, living in the heart of a metropolis.
7. Which one of the following would I put as a top priority in my man?
a- Has a brilliant mind and prestige.
b- Allows me to do whatever I want and loves me just the way I am.
c- Is devilishly handsome and charming.
d- Financially secured and able to give/provide me with whatever I want
8. I am not a morning person. What would be attractive for breakfast?
a- A continental breakfast buffet at a hotel.
b- Chinese "Yum Char" or "Dim Sum"
c- Waffles served with fresh fruits, orange juice, and milk.
d- Turkey ham melt sandwich with a hazelnut latte to go.
9. I would like to have more...
a- Patience
b- Good looks
c- Money
d- Intelligence
10. How do you think I would best describe myself?
a- Hot and sexy.
b- "I am just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love me."
c- Pessimistic introvert who suffers from agoraphobia.
d- Stubborn and will not compromise on my principles/what I want in life.
1. Let's start with an easy one. What is my name?
a- SueMae Foo
b- Suemae Foo
c- Su May Foo
d- Sue Mae Foo
2. I wear two rings on my right hand all the time. Who were they from?
a- Boyfriend and sister
b- Myself
c- Dad and boyfriend
d- Mom and sister
3. What would make a perfect gift for me?
a- Spend quality time with me over a meal
b- My favorite books that reflect true love and humanity
c- Buy me the latest must-haves
d- Jewellery: Diamond and platinum, of course!
4. What is my favorite quote?
a- "Love me, love my fat."
b- "I am crazy, but not stupid!"
c- "Murphy's Law: If anything could go wrong, it would."
d- "Come on, be a man!"
5. If I am rich, and you could not find me, I would most probably be...
a- on a cruise around the world.
b- sitting at the local stock exchange, watching my money roll.
c- experiencing life in Italy.
d- back in my alma mater and second home, Japan.
6. I am given a wish. What would be my strongest desire now?
a- Have a deep understanding and strong bond with my family.
b- Happily married to a man who loves me and have beautiful children.
c- Actively involved in an academic setting, teaching at a college.
d- Be financially secure and independant, living in the heart of a metropolis.
7. Which one of the following would I put as a top priority in my man?
a- Has a brilliant mind and prestige.
b- Allows me to do whatever I want and loves me just the way I am.
c- Is devilishly handsome and charming.
d- Financially secured and able to give/provide me with whatever I want
8. I am not a morning person. What would be attractive for breakfast?
a- A continental breakfast buffet at a hotel.
b- Chinese "Yum Char" or "Dim Sum"
c- Waffles served with fresh fruits, orange juice, and milk.
d- Turkey ham melt sandwich with a hazelnut latte to go.
9. I would like to have more...
a- Patience
b- Good looks
c- Money
d- Intelligence
10. How do you think I would best describe myself?
a- Hot and sexy.
b- "I am just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love me."
c- Pessimistic introvert who suffers from agoraphobia.
d- Stubborn and will not compromise on my principles/what I want in life.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Burdened and Weary
I feel so... だるい (darui) of late. I could not find the right expression in English, but I hope the explanation given on the link helps shed some light. My body does not seem to cooperate with me at all. I feel tired, heavy, and if I have my way, I would just want to lie down all day. Hmm, a "beached whale" or a "tranquilized worm" would describe the lack of motivation my body has in moving about. Getting up in for the past 2 mornings has been tough. I feel extremely tired and could not complete my work out regime and the gym. Sluggish could also be used to categorize my week thus far.
Too many things have been going on in my head. It is like a ball of tangled up Christmas lights. I just need to figure things out and be on top of the situation, but there is just so much I do not know for sure and thus I feel rather lost. I am tired. The issue of faith then pops into my head again. Let me just touch on this a little to help me get it out of my system, clarifying my thoughts and shedding some light to the shadow.
I have a dream, a desire which I want to pursue. It is easier said than done as there is a lengthy process, and as everything that fits in this material world, there is the issue of having the resources to hold the whole thing together. I am not claiming that I am pious, righteous, or perfect that I am 100% right on this matter, but for the sake of discussion, let's just say that I have a good deal of experience to know that it is true.
Someone once told me that God will never put a desire in your heart that He does not intend to see it come through. Some might consider that it is His will or His plans. We have no problems agreeing to that if it is something good, beneficial, and benevolent towards all, but if it is on the contrary, many would fail to see that it is also an opportunity to learn, repent of our selfish intentions reflected in such desires, and draw closer to be more dependable on the grace of God. He never puts the impossible in our hands, nor will He place a challenge that is too big for us to handle. He is a good God, He loves us, and He is in control. He is not cynical or mean to place a desire to taunt us in, giving us hope but taking it all away later, or withdrawing His gifts for something less than the best He has to offer us. He is after all the God of love and grace, faithful and true.
Throughout the years, I have my desires to go places or do certain things, and never have I been let down by His faithfulness. As simple as my desires are, I understand who I am well enough to know that it is not something selfish or too self-centered. In fact, I have never imagined myself to possess such desires. It is not just a spur of the moment or something that suddenly came up. I have been thinking about this specific dream and desire since 3-4 years ago. Sharing this with the experienced and wise, they have shared their views that it is a good thing to do, and I have received countless encouragement and support. My understanding is that it is something I want to do in thanksgiving and accountability for all that was given to me. Nevertheless, I would not dare to say that it is a calling, for it is way too early in my life to see what God has planned for me.
But, let's say that IF it is a desire that God has planted in my heart, it is from Him, His plan or will per say, and I should have no doubts in saying that since it is from Him, He will provide as He is a God that keeps His promises. It might not be exactly how we wanted it (for our perceptions are only human that is tainted with selfishness), but it will turn out to be perfect in His eyes and will. The lives of many in history testify of such faithfulness, so why am in anxiety? He is perfect and will have everything in place that He does not contradicts Himself. He is the one same God that is consistent past, present, and future. Having experienced some of His goodness, where Bunny is your faith?
At times like such I am humbled for I am only human and the strength many see in me is a constant struggle in my heart and mind to fully let go in order to fully submerge myself in His grace. There are so many times when I know but I fail to understand, I act but fail to believe. A heart that is so stubborn is the reason for the struggles and burden in my mind. I know that only when I truly release it and commit it into the hands of the God who loves me things are made so simple and easy. What I can do is limited, and it is only when I can reduce myself to zero, allowing the Almighty to do His work that everything will come to pass in perfection.
I guess such struggles act as reminders of our sin and imperfections, and prompt us time and again that we are but only human. In these dark moments we look upwards and have hope. There is the rainbow reminding us of who God is and that we should have faith in His faithfulness. As we continue to seek after Him, only then we will have light, and by then our hearts, bodies, and mind would be weightless and soar with desires, dreams, and hopes that pleases Him.
Too many things have been going on in my head. It is like a ball of tangled up Christmas lights. I just need to figure things out and be on top of the situation, but there is just so much I do not know for sure and thus I feel rather lost. I am tired. The issue of faith then pops into my head again. Let me just touch on this a little to help me get it out of my system, clarifying my thoughts and shedding some light to the shadow.
I have a dream, a desire which I want to pursue. It is easier said than done as there is a lengthy process, and as everything that fits in this material world, there is the issue of having the resources to hold the whole thing together. I am not claiming that I am pious, righteous, or perfect that I am 100% right on this matter, but for the sake of discussion, let's just say that I have a good deal of experience to know that it is true.
Someone once told me that God will never put a desire in your heart that He does not intend to see it come through. Some might consider that it is His will or His plans. We have no problems agreeing to that if it is something good, beneficial, and benevolent towards all, but if it is on the contrary, many would fail to see that it is also an opportunity to learn, repent of our selfish intentions reflected in such desires, and draw closer to be more dependable on the grace of God. He never puts the impossible in our hands, nor will He place a challenge that is too big for us to handle. He is a good God, He loves us, and He is in control. He is not cynical or mean to place a desire to taunt us in, giving us hope but taking it all away later, or withdrawing His gifts for something less than the best He has to offer us. He is after all the God of love and grace, faithful and true.
Throughout the years, I have my desires to go places or do certain things, and never have I been let down by His faithfulness. As simple as my desires are, I understand who I am well enough to know that it is not something selfish or too self-centered. In fact, I have never imagined myself to possess such desires. It is not just a spur of the moment or something that suddenly came up. I have been thinking about this specific dream and desire since 3-4 years ago. Sharing this with the experienced and wise, they have shared their views that it is a good thing to do, and I have received countless encouragement and support. My understanding is that it is something I want to do in thanksgiving and accountability for all that was given to me. Nevertheless, I would not dare to say that it is a calling, for it is way too early in my life to see what God has planned for me.
But, let's say that IF it is a desire that God has planted in my heart, it is from Him, His plan or will per say, and I should have no doubts in saying that since it is from Him, He will provide as He is a God that keeps His promises. It might not be exactly how we wanted it (for our perceptions are only human that is tainted with selfishness), but it will turn out to be perfect in His eyes and will. The lives of many in history testify of such faithfulness, so why am in anxiety? He is perfect and will have everything in place that He does not contradicts Himself. He is the one same God that is consistent past, present, and future. Having experienced some of His goodness, where Bunny is your faith?
At times like such I am humbled for I am only human and the strength many see in me is a constant struggle in my heart and mind to fully let go in order to fully submerge myself in His grace. There are so many times when I know but I fail to understand, I act but fail to believe. A heart that is so stubborn is the reason for the struggles and burden in my mind. I know that only when I truly release it and commit it into the hands of the God who loves me things are made so simple and easy. What I can do is limited, and it is only when I can reduce myself to zero, allowing the Almighty to do His work that everything will come to pass in perfection.
I guess such struggles act as reminders of our sin and imperfections, and prompt us time and again that we are but only human. In these dark moments we look upwards and have hope. There is the rainbow reminding us of who God is and that we should have faith in His faithfulness. As we continue to seek after Him, only then we will have light, and by then our hearts, bodies, and mind would be weightless and soar with desires, dreams, and hopes that pleases Him.
Bunny Suicides
Ben gave me a book a few Christmas back and I loved it. By chance I came across pictures from the book of late and I would like to share with you some of my humor to brigthen up the mood I have been feeling. Enjoy the Bunny Suicides.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Would You Smile for Me?
君の笑顔が私の支え (^－^) 私の笑顔 (＊^－^＊) があなたの支えになるなれば
ずっと笑っていたいな～
"All men are heartless" often is released during my outburst of frustration towards matters relating to the other gender and relationships. Guys who know me long enough do hear this every now and then, especially of recent years. I have a fair share of encounters and experiences with the male kind in family ties, friendships, and relationships to know enough to make such a claim that I often get away with it. Nevertheless someone countered my statement with "And all women are crazy," to which I thought it was a fair comment made tactfully.
It drives me up the wall when guys do not comprehend what is going on in dealing with the opposite sex. I am often left dumbfounded on how dense a guy can get when in comes to interpreting signals given by a girl. It is almost obvious to everyone around them that she obviously likes him, but it seems like he will eventually end up to be the last person to know. Does she actually have to make a distinct move before he gets the idea? How long would it take a guy to understand what she likes, prefers, and wants? When only will she be able to get a response from him?
Being the impatient and stubborn person I am, it is absolutely annoying and makes me want to tear my hair out when they show indifference to a situation where I have made a move. I have grown up with guys and I understand them well enough to give them space and save them face. However, with such a background, I do have a rather high/boyish ego myself. For me to actually make a move do put me in a compromised spot, exposing my Achilles heel. So, if I have taken a step down, why can't you give me an answer? If it is positive, we would all be happy and progress forward; if it is negative, we deal with it and move on; but leaving it as it is with no signs of interest or concern, ARGH!!!
Well, maybe I am hoping and expecting too much, and perhaps my perceptions were deluded by fairy tales and the popular approach of romance. You can not deny that most women are not like such, and thus, yeah, I guess we are crazy. All the effort we put into showing a guy we are interested might often be regarded as nonsensical actions, and when we go berserk treated like such, men might just say the wrong thing for the moment, shrug their shoulders, and scratch their heads. Even though I do not favorite lesbianism, but I can understand why some women would actually take up that option.
There are sensitive guys out there who are nothing but sweet most of the time. However, I agree with the fact that women are crazy when men who go overboard in revealing their softer side are called sissies and pansies by females. Seems like a guys will never be able to win an argument relating to such issues, right?
I believe men should be men, macho to the right degree, firm, a little boyish, wise, mature, and strong to protect the weaker gender. I love open conversations with touches of good humor. Little disagreements and small spits or fights are welcomed as we can be honest and understand each other better. All I want is a response and not feel like I am hitting a void. You can hold up your strong firm front, but at least, let me know that you have some sort of feeling inside.
Heartless as they may seem, I am still not giving up on trying as there is always that small ray of light that I am getting through to them. They maybe mean and heartless, but when the tiniest notion of their cold front is broken down by a sweet gesture, a spoken word, or a smile to themselves is good enough as a starter. I am over the moon when I know a guy treats me special than how he treats other girls. So, I can not really whine and b*tch too much about the matter as funny enough, I guess that is the dance in beginning a new relationship.
Hmm, maybe there IS a lot that I still do not know or understand.
Counting Days
I just received the greeting card from mom. I found it sitting at the table near the entrance as I fixed myself a cup of tea. Dated January 26 when it was in the hands of the Malaysian post, it took 3.5 weeks to make it to me via airmail. All hail the Malaysian and Macao post. They have finally found compatibility in slow delivery. No complaints. I am glad that the card arrived 2 days before the Lunar New Year is over.
It was a beautiful card that could be displayed as a festive decoration and useful as a calender. Mom also sent another calendar with the same post that marks important dates and holidays according to the Malaysian calendar.
I guess by now I have as many calenders and date markers with me as the word "calender" mentioned thus far. In the office I have 2 on my desk, there is one hanging in my bathroom at the apartment, my schedule book, and the 2 new ones mom sent, not to forget digital ones that come in my computer and clie. Therefore, we all these time markers around me, I hope that time will fly. It does bring a weird sense of excitement as every time I look at a calender, I could not help but to count the days that I have been here, the days to when I leave for my vacation, my family visiting, how long more I have to be here, my summer surprise, etc. There are sure going to keep me occupied when I am not doing anything is specific, right?
Fingers crossed... waiting.... still waiting... seems like nothing is happening... I guess it is time to count the days and strike off dates again.
It was a beautiful card that could be displayed as a festive decoration and useful as a calender. Mom also sent another calendar with the same post that marks important dates and holidays according to the Malaysian calendar.
I guess by now I have as many calenders and date markers with me as the word "calender" mentioned thus far. In the office I have 2 on my desk, there is one hanging in my bathroom at the apartment, my schedule book, and the 2 new ones mom sent, not to forget digital ones that come in my computer and clie. Therefore, we all these time markers around me, I hope that time will fly. It does bring a weird sense of excitement as every time I look at a calender, I could not help but to count the days that I have been here, the days to when I leave for my vacation, my family visiting, how long more I have to be here, my summer surprise, etc. There are sure going to keep me occupied when I am not doing anything is specific, right?
Fingers crossed... waiting.... still waiting... seems like nothing is happening... I guess it is time to count the days and strike off dates again.
Monday, February 18, 2008
Selfless Planning?
A few days ago I was doing my regular reading when I came across an issue that captured my thoughts. It was a topic that related to making decisions and planning for the future. The writing got my thoughts focused on my own plans and decisions, whether they reflect any self-centeredness on my behalf.
I remember vividly an incident that happened about 5-6 years ago. It was one of the darker times in my life when I was utterly confused about being selfless. Trying to be a better person, I was hoping to be a not selfish in deciding what I should do with my future; however, I was going overboard by taking heed the circumstances of my actions on others while placing a rather unhealthy emphasis on what other would think of me. I went mad. This was mainly because my understanding was still immature as I took things literally, and the situation was made complex in the confusion fused with the misunderstanding of being selfless and one that has no self/identity. Am I glad that I have grown out of that! Explaining it now is still confusing and complex. Nevertheless, having no self in the mentioned aspect is probably the saddest state a person could be in; one that has no belonging, existence, or purpose.
We are commanded to love, respect, and be considerate for the needs of others, but in order to find happiness in doing the aforementioned, one should know who they are by having an identity. By knowing who I am and my purpose in life, the decision making and plans that come after are often less complicated. I know then where my responsibilities and accountability lie, and this in turn sharpens me to increase on my abilities and capabilities. With an understanding of the whole self, I would then be able to embark on a future that would do proud any parent, family, and society.
Where then would the line measure of self-centeredness begin? Do I have to make every plan and decision in my life based on the effect it has on others, in the sense that I should never do anything I want that benefits me, and thus making me happy, for it might not be what others want or have in mind for me? If things were measured in the definition above, I would then admit that I am pretty much very self centered. I wish to be independent and stubborn with what I want. If I have relented and listened to the voices that bid me to be "selfless" I would have never had the opportunity to set foot in TCU, or have the dreams I have today.
As immature children, we need guidance in making decisions and plans only because we did not know right from wrong or understand who we are enough to be able to take care of ourselves. But growing up to be independent means that we should be able to stand on our own feet, taking up responsibilities, and fend for ourselves. By equipping ourselves for the future, we move forward in leaving home, supporting ourselves, and start a new life progressing forward.
Please do not get me wrong as I do not mean that we should shut out our parents or to severe ourselves from family connections; nevertheless, what I mean is that we respect and consider their opinions, but do not feel obligated that we have to do everything for someone else by displacing our dreams, hopes, and what we want to do for ourselves. There is nothing wrong to plan and act for a future that coincides with our search for happiness, but by doing so does not mean that we are being selfish and disrespectful. It should be carried out thoughtfully and responsibly without bringing a serious burden to others. But then again, if it means so much to us, would not the people who love us be encouraging and supportive? They do want us to be happy, right? If by holding back on what we really wanted to do just to appease others, would it not be devastating when we start to blame others that they were the ones who made us give up our dreams and cut short out potential?
Thinking about the above in turn sheds light upon the question of "Is there such thing like a selfless good act?" Does it mean that when we helped others we should never benefit from it or be happy, even to the extent that we should not give ourselves a nice pat on the back? The future is ours to embrace. I do not have a habit of looking back, and although many might think that I am cruel and heartless, I will continue to do so. However, even though I do not look back, it does not mean that I do no cherish all the memories and everything that was learned in the past. I will carry these with me and look forward to a future that we could all be happy for one another, together.
I remember vividly an incident that happened about 5-6 years ago. It was one of the darker times in my life when I was utterly confused about being selfless. Trying to be a better person, I was hoping to be a not selfish in deciding what I should do with my future; however, I was going overboard by taking heed the circumstances of my actions on others while placing a rather unhealthy emphasis on what other would think of me. I went mad. This was mainly because my understanding was still immature as I took things literally, and the situation was made complex in the confusion fused with the misunderstanding of being selfless and one that has no self/identity. Am I glad that I have grown out of that! Explaining it now is still confusing and complex. Nevertheless, having no self in the mentioned aspect is probably the saddest state a person could be in; one that has no belonging, existence, or purpose.
We are commanded to love, respect, and be considerate for the needs of others, but in order to find happiness in doing the aforementioned, one should know who they are by having an identity. By knowing who I am and my purpose in life, the decision making and plans that come after are often less complicated. I know then where my responsibilities and accountability lie, and this in turn sharpens me to increase on my abilities and capabilities. With an understanding of the whole self, I would then be able to embark on a future that would do proud any parent, family, and society.
Where then would the line measure of self-centeredness begin? Do I have to make every plan and decision in my life based on the effect it has on others, in the sense that I should never do anything I want that benefits me, and thus making me happy, for it might not be what others want or have in mind for me? If things were measured in the definition above, I would then admit that I am pretty much very self centered. I wish to be independent and stubborn with what I want. If I have relented and listened to the voices that bid me to be "selfless" I would have never had the opportunity to set foot in TCU, or have the dreams I have today.
As immature children, we need guidance in making decisions and plans only because we did not know right from wrong or understand who we are enough to be able to take care of ourselves. But growing up to be independent means that we should be able to stand on our own feet, taking up responsibilities, and fend for ourselves. By equipping ourselves for the future, we move forward in leaving home, supporting ourselves, and start a new life progressing forward.
Please do not get me wrong as I do not mean that we should shut out our parents or to severe ourselves from family connections; nevertheless, what I mean is that we respect and consider their opinions, but do not feel obligated that we have to do everything for someone else by displacing our dreams, hopes, and what we want to do for ourselves. There is nothing wrong to plan and act for a future that coincides with our search for happiness, but by doing so does not mean that we are being selfish and disrespectful. It should be carried out thoughtfully and responsibly without bringing a serious burden to others. But then again, if it means so much to us, would not the people who love us be encouraging and supportive? They do want us to be happy, right? If by holding back on what we really wanted to do just to appease others, would it not be devastating when we start to blame others that they were the ones who made us give up our dreams and cut short out potential?
Thinking about the above in turn sheds light upon the question of "Is there such thing like a selfless good act?" Does it mean that when we helped others we should never benefit from it or be happy, even to the extent that we should not give ourselves a nice pat on the back? The future is ours to embrace. I do not have a habit of looking back, and although many might think that I am cruel and heartless, I will continue to do so. However, even though I do not look back, it does not mean that I do no cherish all the memories and everything that was learned in the past. I will carry these with me and look forward to a future that we could all be happy for one another, together.
Monday Again
The monotony of my routined life here is starting to bore me out. The only thing that could counter this blue Monday is... hmm... erm... The weather is getting better(?)
Finally the sun shines its face upon the Macao Peninsular, chasing away the cold spell bringing tempreatures to a bearable 13C. (Well, as long as we are in between 10C to 20C, minimize the haze and polution, I guess I could bear with it.) I should not complain as the sun does help brighten up a lot of things.
Hey, can someone out there please drop me a mail? The inbox of my private email account is feeling lonely of late. Apart from notifications and general forwarded messages, hardly any good emails came for 2 weeks now. I have been waiting and still am waiting for news from beyond, but I guess I have to be patient. Sigh.
I was in bed lost in my thoughts before I drifted off to sleep a little longer than usual last night. Since my mind pretty much lingered on the ideas that surround V-day, I was starting to rethink my future. Wait, "rethink" might not be the right word, "review" would be better.
I have a dream and I am moving closer to it as I wait for the next chapter in my life to reveal itself. With such dreams plans seem to form but it starts to get a little complicated if I want everything to come to pass. There is the question of timing, what my priorities are, resources, etc. Thinking about it is simply overwhelming and makes it harder to fall asleep. I guess in keeping things simple, I should just focus on what matters according to my priority, that is getting to that next chapther in life. The rest is not that important for now. It would be nice to think about it once in a while and scratch the itch every now and then; however, now is not the time to think too much or do anything about it. Time to play "iron lady."
Finally the sun shines its face upon the Macao Peninsular, chasing away the cold spell bringing tempreatures to a bearable 13C. (Well, as long as we are in between 10C to 20C, minimize the haze and polution, I guess I could bear with it.) I should not complain as the sun does help brighten up a lot of things.
Hey, can someone out there please drop me a mail? The inbox of my private email account is feeling lonely of late. Apart from notifications and general forwarded messages, hardly any good emails came for 2 weeks now. I have been waiting and still am waiting for news from beyond, but I guess I have to be patient. Sigh.
I was in bed lost in my thoughts before I drifted off to sleep a little longer than usual last night. Since my mind pretty much lingered on the ideas that surround V-day, I was starting to rethink my future. Wait, "rethink" might not be the right word, "review" would be better.
I have a dream and I am moving closer to it as I wait for the next chapter in my life to reveal itself. With such dreams plans seem to form but it starts to get a little complicated if I want everything to come to pass. There is the question of timing, what my priorities are, resources, etc. Thinking about it is simply overwhelming and makes it harder to fall asleep. I guess in keeping things simple, I should just focus on what matters according to my priority, that is getting to that next chapther in life. The rest is not that important for now. It would be nice to think about it once in a while and scratch the itch every now and then; however, now is not the time to think too much or do anything about it. Time to play "iron lady."
Oh, when? WHY? How?
"I don't know" is just an excuse, for I know the answers and seriously should be getting my tushee to it.
Sunday, February 17, 2008
The 2nd Month
Yep, today marks the 2nd month I have been in Macao. Part of me would like to say "Man! Time flies!" but there is a part of me that goes "My gosh! It has been like forever and it is ONLY 2 months???" Well, I guess it goes hand-in-hand with how I feel of late, all mixed up.
I guess I have shared a good deal of my whines and complaints about the place. Maybe it is time to whip out that really short list about what I do like about this place. Be it a location, an activity, or something to eat, these are the few things I do enjoy.
I guess I have shared a good deal of my whines and complaints about the place. Maybe it is time to whip out that really short list about what I do like about this place. Be it a location, an activity, or something to eat, these are the few things I do enjoy.
- Wynn Macao. I would consider this as my favorite place to go to. I have liked this place since my very short visit last year in March. Apart from the fancy interior and the only Japanese restaurant that is palatable to my taste outside Japan, I do enjoy the fountain show in the evening from the angle of having the Macao Tower as a back drop and the Grand Lisboa on the right. The music and spits of fireballs make it rather awesome. Also, it houses the closest Starbucks that I can gain access to according to my convenience.
- Senado Square and the Ruins of Saint Paul's Cathedral in the early morning or during evenings when the crowds of tourists are not there. This area is dotted with old buildings that reflect Portuguese heritage and art. Minus the air and sound polution from the crowd, I could spend hours just sitting there enjoying the view with a cup of Starbucks in my hand.
- Egg tarts. I love this snack/desserts ever since I was a little girl and I could have it any time of the day. They have the original Chinese plain egg tarts and the Portuguese ones with caramel. They are GOOOOOOOD. (I hardly have them though. I think I only had 3 in my 2 months here.)
- The Office and My Workmates. They rock and we have so much fun together. Everyone is straight-forward and honest. We work individually so there is nothing in common to trigger off messy work politics, but everyone is supportive and encouraging in many ways. The office facilities are not too bad either.
- 7-11. Although it is nowhere near the standards of a convenient store in Japan (in service, cleanliness, products carried...) but I do like the ready to eat hot snacks they have. They have the local version of おでん and Chinese savoury snacks such as glutinous rice, fish balls, chinese dumplings, hot sharks' fin soup, etc. They are reasonably priced and having any two servings of the above is filling enough for a meal that cost 2/3 of what food shops and restaurant are charging. They are considerably yummy to my taste. The store also provides an acceptable variety to microwavable meals of a reasonable price and portion.
Yeah, I guess that is about it for now. So, a least I am still able to mention something good about this place (even though it has very little to do with Macao as a whole, or does it?).
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Valentine's Day
V-Day has become way too commercialized and is exerting more social pressure of late. Instead of just sharing love with one's beloved (family and friends included), the focus of this holiday (even though we still have to work) has been zoomed onto couples and revolve around gifts and tokens of love. I guess people are really keen to show that they have somebody to care for and vice-versa. And for those who are not participating in the events of the day are often left out to be categorized as lonely.
I am not totally engulfed in the effects of loneliness, yet. Moving here has severed me physically from the ones I love, but I have yet to start singing out loud in my apartment to kill the silence, and a healthy sign is that I have not started speaking to myself. Of course I do carry debates and discussions with the voices in my head. They come up with the most interesting ideas. Nevertheless, I do miss good company, and the apartment is rather bare and lifeless, although furnished. My thoughts are always with me and do keep me company at the gym, at work (when not socializing) and when I am out on the streets of Macao.
And such loneliness is amplified during Valentine's Day as I physically do not have any love ones near. No specific plans for me today, alright. Just another day. I was out to grab some grub for a late lunch and saw a few floral deliveries were being made. I was soon back at my desk again and the doorbell rang. Ooh, how nice it would be if I have a nice bouquet of my favorite blossoms being sent for me, but nah! That is highly unlikely to happen. The likelihood of me receiving anything is just a small package from my sister. And I was right, that delivery was for me and now I have a bag of sweets to keep the blues away. As for male company, I could not complain as 2 of the sweetest persons I know were online to chat with me keeping me company as I work.
Another year without any specific romantic plans or presents, but I am left with my memories and a thin smile of bitter sweetness.
I am not totally engulfed in the effects of loneliness, yet. Moving here has severed me physically from the ones I love, but I have yet to start singing out loud in my apartment to kill the silence, and a healthy sign is that I have not started speaking to myself. Of course I do carry debates and discussions with the voices in my head. They come up with the most interesting ideas. Nevertheless, I do miss good company, and the apartment is rather bare and lifeless, although furnished. My thoughts are always with me and do keep me company at the gym, at work (when not socializing) and when I am out on the streets of Macao.
And such loneliness is amplified during Valentine's Day as I physically do not have any love ones near. No specific plans for me today, alright. Just another day. I was out to grab some grub for a late lunch and saw a few floral deliveries were being made. I was soon back at my desk again and the doorbell rang. Ooh, how nice it would be if I have a nice bouquet of my favorite blossoms being sent for me, but nah! That is highly unlikely to happen. The likelihood of me receiving anything is just a small package from my sister. And I was right, that delivery was for me and now I have a bag of sweets to keep the blues away. As for male company, I could not complain as 2 of the sweetest persons I know were online to chat with me keeping me company as I work.
Another year without any specific romantic plans or presents, but I am left with my memories and a thin smile of bitter sweetness.
To all of you out there, I wish you LOVE, the truest of its kind.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Screaming Helps
There are a very few things that do strike my fancy here in Macao, without a doubt they make it to my VERY short list of "My Macao Favorites/Likes." I guess right now, I would put people I work with at the Macao office at the top 3 of my list. We are a small group of 7 but share a really big work space. Since most of us work independently, the office is more like a common vicinity which we turn it into a playground every once in a while.
Last night, we hit the karaoke right after work for a night of fun in lieu of the Lunar New Year celebrations. Although it turned out to be more costly than expected, we ate, drank, sang, dance, and laughed the night away. The party animals were unleashed without supervision and if videos and pictures were taken, they would fetch a very high price for the purpose of blackmail. We have our very own karaoke queens with lovely voices, and did manage to hear a few voices (and sounds) that were never heard made before. Now I finally understand why BY carries such a huge bag around. She was the hero of my evening. She provided a really superb night with an amazing list of chosen songs, her performances, and equipped us well with cute tambourines and maracas. We covered almost every genre of song from Chinese pop to boy bands from the west, J-pop to oldies, hard rock, and even, the Spice Girls! I was pretty amazed by the languages we covered too. However, I found out that YMCA, although a really fun song to sing at the karaoke with friends, the lyrics sounds just SO WRONG. I need to get my head out of the gutter, but come on... it is so XXX!
We spend around 5 hours enjoying ourselves in which, I believe, most of us have bleeding throats by the end of the second hour. We left just in time for SA and I to catch the nearly last bus home. Although it sure did not seem like a good idea to be partying right in the middle of the week, as most of us would not be able to do any calls today, but we also wished that we could have continued till daybreak. Amidst all the wolf cries, cheering, and singing our hearts out, I sure let out a great load of pent up emotions of the past week. Yep, screaming helps. I believe it is good therapy and since there are no roller coasters here and buddies for me to go with, karaoke will work. It made me miss the fun times shared with the guys back in Japan, but reminiscing those karaoke times spent sure lift up my spirits.
Last night, we hit the karaoke right after work for a night of fun in lieu of the Lunar New Year celebrations. Although it turned out to be more costly than expected, we ate, drank, sang, dance, and laughed the night away. The party animals were unleashed without supervision and if videos and pictures were taken, they would fetch a very high price for the purpose of blackmail. We have our very own karaoke queens with lovely voices, and did manage to hear a few voices (and sounds) that were never heard made before. Now I finally understand why BY carries such a huge bag around. She was the hero of my evening. She provided a really superb night with an amazing list of chosen songs, her performances, and equipped us well with cute tambourines and maracas. We covered almost every genre of song from Chinese pop to boy bands from the west, J-pop to oldies, hard rock, and even, the Spice Girls! I was pretty amazed by the languages we covered too. However, I found out that YMCA, although a really fun song to sing at the karaoke with friends, the lyrics sounds just SO WRONG. I need to get my head out of the gutter, but come on... it is so XXX!
We spend around 5 hours enjoying ourselves in which, I believe, most of us have bleeding throats by the end of the second hour. We left just in time for SA and I to catch the nearly last bus home. Although it sure did not seem like a good idea to be partying right in the middle of the week, as most of us would not be able to do any calls today, but we also wished that we could have continued till daybreak. Amidst all the wolf cries, cheering, and singing our hearts out, I sure let out a great load of pent up emotions of the past week. Yep, screaming helps. I believe it is good therapy and since there are no roller coasters here and buddies for me to go with, karaoke will work. It made me miss the fun times shared with the guys back in Japan, but reminiscing those karaoke times spent sure lift up my spirits.
So, voiceless and a very sore throat I wish you a "Happy Valentine's Day!"
What is Wrong With Me?
Things are getting pretty messy around here. I finally decided to pick up after my mess left in my apartment during the 5 day weekend I just had, and both my schedule and mind has never been so disorganized. I seriously need to get my head back in the game of life.
I totally mixed up the dates in my schedule. I thought my visit to the Immigration/Foreign Labor Department for the next stage in obtaining a local ID was on the 18, but I was reminded by BY yesterday that it was today. I did remember that I have to go (some time this month) and was looking through my passport on Monday. I was rather confused as it seemed that my temporary visa for Macao was expired. During my first visit to the immigration office, they did give me a visa that would last till mid February, but since I was out of Macao for the New Year's, my passport was stamped by immigration then with a visa that will expire at the end of January. Also, I found out that I am short of 1 ID photo (that was used for the gym enrollment) the night before I had to go to the immigration office, and could not do anything as there were nowhere I could go to get prints that late in the evening nor could I make it the next morning. But thank God that everything was ok this morning and I was out of the alien filled office within 2 hours.
The next important thing that I messed up was my upcoming travel plans. I remembered wrongly the time of my flight out of Hong Kong. I though I would be leaving around 1 in the afternoon, but no, I booked a morning flight in which I have to get the bunny to HKIA after work the night before. Interesting. Now, that would cut short my plans for the evening and I would most probably need to stay up the night before to get my online check-in done in order to secure my desired seat. Why can't all airlines allow you to choose your seat when you book the ticket online like Thai Airway does?
So, I spent 2 hours sorting out my schedule and going through my calender updating it in hopes that I do not miss anything. Sigh! Give me my concentration and organized life back.
I totally mixed up the dates in my schedule. I thought my visit to the Immigration/Foreign Labor Department for the next stage in obtaining a local ID was on the 18, but I was reminded by BY yesterday that it was today. I did remember that I have to go (some time this month) and was looking through my passport on Monday. I was rather confused as it seemed that my temporary visa for Macao was expired. During my first visit to the immigration office, they did give me a visa that would last till mid February, but since I was out of Macao for the New Year's, my passport was stamped by immigration then with a visa that will expire at the end of January. Also, I found out that I am short of 1 ID photo (that was used for the gym enrollment) the night before I had to go to the immigration office, and could not do anything as there were nowhere I could go to get prints that late in the evening nor could I make it the next morning. But thank God that everything was ok this morning and I was out of the alien filled office within 2 hours.
The next important thing that I messed up was my upcoming travel plans. I remembered wrongly the time of my flight out of Hong Kong. I though I would be leaving around 1 in the afternoon, but no, I booked a morning flight in which I have to get the bunny to HKIA after work the night before. Interesting. Now, that would cut short my plans for the evening and I would most probably need to stay up the night before to get my online check-in done in order to secure my desired seat. Why can't all airlines allow you to choose your seat when you book the ticket online like Thai Airway does?
So, I spent 2 hours sorting out my schedule and going through my calender updating it in hopes that I do not miss anything. Sigh! Give me my concentration and organized life back.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Blogging on My Clie
This is so neat. It has been a while since I picked up my Clie, and was just playing around with it. With free wireless connection, I guess I am ready to be on the go with my gadget, providing I have enough juice in the battery. Sweet! This means I do not have to lug my laptop with me when I travel, and will be able to check my business emails even when I am out of the office during vacations.Yipee!
This entry has been scribbled to you on my palm screen. Although I can not do anything fancy blogging on the handheld, but know that I can be in touch via email and have access to my blog anywhere in the world (if wireless connection is available, of course).
It is no Blackberry but I am content to sign off like a rookie geek or a kid with a new toy saying "This is SO cool!"
This entry has been scribbled to you on my palm screen. Although I can not do anything fancy blogging on the handheld, but know that I can be in touch via email and have access to my blog anywhere in the world (if wireless connection is available, of course).
It is no Blackberry but I am content to sign off like a rookie geek or a kid with a new toy saying "This is SO cool!"
Monday, February 11, 2008
A Little of the Festivities for Me
I got my first "Ang Pow" (red packet) today. It was given to me at the office by BY. It is my very first 开工利事 (in Cantonese "hoi gong lai see") ever as a token of good fortune as I start of a "new year" at work. (I do not recall my previous company handing them out last year, but I do remember receiving them from individuals at work.) I am a little excited. Not too bad for the 6th day of the Lunar New Year, eh? I do not care much about the content, but you have to agree with me that it looks really cute. So, having no idea how generous my boss is, I am content to put in my share of effort to work today.
Another Day
I wish I had a vacuum cleaner with me so that I can suck out the concrete debris from my washing machine. What?
I am not kidding. Finally, I have the time and need to use the washing machine at my apartment. It has been more than 6 weeks since I had the machine in my possession, but since it was filthy, I chose to do all of my laundry by hand all this while. Now, it is just getting too cold to do them by hand and I am just too lazy to wash a pair of jeans under such circumstances. So, FINALLY I took time to clean the second hand washing machine my cheap landlord got for the apartment. There were stuff in the washing machine from the previous owner. The lint trap was filled with gunk, and it took me close to an hour to scrub off the dirt and grime from the bracket of the lint trap itself, which at the end, the grayish-brown mess finally revealed a light blue plastic frame. It took me another hour or so to wash the insides of the machine. After running a cycle with anti-bacterial cleaning detergent, there were pieces of concrete and sand swimming at the bottom of the drum. Gross. Without the exact utensils I was looking for, I resort to fishing out the foreign objects with a towel by hand. Even after washing a round of clothes, the lint trap was filled with unknown objects and more concrete bits. (Hmm, I wonder which would actually have taken more of my time and energy? Washing the machine or the pair of jeans by hand? Ironic)
Well, at least at the end of the ordeal I have a cleaner washing machine than I had before, and now, I could use the machine whenever I want to. Another day to my simple life. I had better dress up to do some grocery shopping as it is back to work for me tomorrow.
I am not kidding. Finally, I have the time and need to use the washing machine at my apartment. It has been more than 6 weeks since I had the machine in my possession, but since it was filthy, I chose to do all of my laundry by hand all this while. Now, it is just getting too cold to do them by hand and I am just too lazy to wash a pair of jeans under such circumstances. So, FINALLY I took time to clean the second hand washing machine my cheap landlord got for the apartment. There were stuff in the washing machine from the previous owner. The lint trap was filled with gunk, and it took me close to an hour to scrub off the dirt and grime from the bracket of the lint trap itself, which at the end, the grayish-brown mess finally revealed a light blue plastic frame. It took me another hour or so to wash the insides of the machine. After running a cycle with anti-bacterial cleaning detergent, there were pieces of concrete and sand swimming at the bottom of the drum. Gross. Without the exact utensils I was looking for, I resort to fishing out the foreign objects with a towel by hand. Even after washing a round of clothes, the lint trap was filled with unknown objects and more concrete bits. (Hmm, I wonder which would actually have taken more of my time and energy? Washing the machine or the pair of jeans by hand? Ironic)
Well, at least at the end of the ordeal I have a cleaner washing machine than I had before, and now, I could use the machine whenever I want to. Another day to my simple life. I had better dress up to do some grocery shopping as it is back to work for me tomorrow.
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Stalking the Bunny
Within a week this bunny would have been in Macao for 2 months. So, what does she do with her time here? She generally will be in the office around 10am to 7pm on weekdays, spending her evenings at the gym for a workout and spend some time relaxing before heading back to her burrow. However, what does she do during her time off work?
Since those are her day off, this bunny sure takes her time as she likes. Waking up only when she feels like it, she would then spend the next hour or two cleaning the apartment and preparing herself for the day. This would happen on most Saturdays and the main agenda for the day is shopping. Walking to the supermarket located around 10 minutes away would be her first stop to get bottled water and some groceries. She would then go back to the apartment and might stop by supermarket two to get juice. After popping back to the apartment to drop off the stuff, she would then take a stroll to the street market that is located about a 15 minute walk westwards for some veggies and fruits. The whole agenda outdoors would take her 2-3 hours max. She would stop by at an herbal tea shop for a weekly fix of downing an extremely nasty concoction for her health.
Pending on her mood, she would stay indoors for a enjoying the tele or catching up with her DVDs. There would be a possibility that she might hit the gym, but since relaxation is the main focus of the weekend, that would be entirely up to her. On Sundays, the first half of the day would be spent at church and at the square area before heading off to the gym. After the regular work out, she would spend a tad more time at the sauna before hitting the showers, and then, home.
You have to agree that she spends a lot of time by herself, but it would give her the space to recollect her thoughts and composure in having to face the environment that she still does not seem to favor. Though shutting herself away seems cowardly, but at least, she still has the company of her computer to help her keep in touch with her reading and friends who she misses. Now my stalker has pretty much an easy job following me around as, like you see, there is really nothing much this bunny does.
Since those are her day off, this bunny sure takes her time as she likes. Waking up only when she feels like it, she would then spend the next hour or two cleaning the apartment and preparing herself for the day. This would happen on most Saturdays and the main agenda for the day is shopping. Walking to the supermarket located around 10 minutes away would be her first stop to get bottled water and some groceries. She would then go back to the apartment and might stop by supermarket two to get juice. After popping back to the apartment to drop off the stuff, she would then take a stroll to the street market that is located about a 15 minute walk westwards for some veggies and fruits. The whole agenda outdoors would take her 2-3 hours max. She would stop by at an herbal tea shop for a weekly fix of downing an extremely nasty concoction for her health.
Pending on her mood, she would stay indoors for a enjoying the tele or catching up with her DVDs. There would be a possibility that she might hit the gym, but since relaxation is the main focus of the weekend, that would be entirely up to her. On Sundays, the first half of the day would be spent at church and at the square area before heading off to the gym. After the regular work out, she would spend a tad more time at the sauna before hitting the showers, and then, home.
You have to agree that she spends a lot of time by herself, but it would give her the space to recollect her thoughts and composure in having to face the environment that she still does not seem to favor. Though shutting herself away seems cowardly, but at least, she still has the company of her computer to help her keep in touch with her reading and friends who she misses. Now my stalker has pretty much an easy job following me around as, like you see, there is really nothing much this bunny does.
Saturday, February 9, 2008
Pull Yourself Together. Take a Walk Outside.
I am pathetic and need to seriously keep it together.
For this once I was actually timing myself to how long and how pathetic I am in setting up a sad stage for the holiday season and being the wet blanket. I did not step out of the apartment since around 7pm on Wednesday. I have been indoors for about 68 hours, of which around 40 hours was spent sleeping, and the rest in front of the idiot box or the computer, which maybe 3 hours were spend cooking or grooming myself as needed. For food I made macaroni and stuffed myself with nothing but cookies, a pack a day!!! (There goes my month of work out at the gym.) I finally told myself that I need to get out and experience the Lunar New Year atmosphere outside and did take the hassle to dress up for a walk.
I was amazed that the streets were clean. Yes, they were actually in a state that I would actually say that it was neat and clean. There were just traces of what was left of firecrackers that could not be picked up in the drain grates, and maybe a piece of stray trash or two, but otherwise, the street was actually clean! (Amazed!!!) I was surprised that most stores were (still) not open on the 3rd day of the festivities. It was rather quiet and I did have a problem finding a fruit stand. (Hmm, maybe I should have tried the market.) My reward from the maybe 1 hour walk outside was getting some drinking water and groceries from the supermarket, lunch, and some sunlight. I tried to cheer myself up by walking to an outlet store selling clothes but I guess since we have sun and it does seem a little warmer, I have no need to get myself a new jacket… or, do I?
This entry is neither here or there, a good reflection of my current state. So, what should I do? I think my DVD player went bonkers of watching too many episodes of F.R.I.E.N.D.S yesterday. Now, since I am back indoors again, seriously, what should I do?
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Ushering in the Year of the Rat
The East Asian Community officially ushers in the year of the Rat today.
For me, it will just be a 5 day weekend in my apartment.
For me, it will just be a 5 day weekend in my apartment.
Gaudy decorations adorn most of the commercial buildings and resident complexes. It was just over last weekend spring cleaning was carried out in the cold and colors of red and gold was literally spat everywhere. Spots where the many poinsettias where decked for Christmas were replaced with lime trees. And you definitely know that it is the Lunar New Year when all you can hear is the sound of firecrackers being set off constantly. (Man! I vividly remember that at midnight last night, the sound lasted about an hour with the reverberations setting off car alarms and were followed by sirens from either the police cars or fire trucks.)
I am sitting in front of the TV with my pc blogging while watching the Hong Kong Lunar New Year Celebration Broadcast that is aired every year. (I remember watching this every year as little girl at my grandparents’ after the whole immediate family visited the temple and the party hosted by the Chinese political party with my dad [he was rather active in it then] before the separation.) There are no decorations at my place, but since the theme of my living room is red and black, I guess it is well decorated for Christmas and the Lunar New Year. I love those Chinese walnut and almond cookies, and egg roll biscuits I had growing up, but since I get access to them regardless of season here in Macao, I am just snacking off Chips Ahoy right now. The festive songs on the TV do bring back memories. Man! It is either I miss those times or I am just really bored now.
Well, I should stop being a Scrooge and enjoy the festivities. Hmm, maybe I should head out to look for that down jacket, but the weather forecast said that the cold spell will last to the 6th day of the New Year. Should I? We’ll see. Anyways,
Have a happy and prosperous Year of the Rat filled with good health and happiness.
Who Cares Anyways?
I have taken my yardstick of laziness to the next mile. Feeling down by the weather, I did not make it to work yesterday. I slept in till CD called me regarding an appointment that was supposed to be cancelled. Soon after the call, I called BY and tell her that I will not be coming in for work. That was 10:30 am and I only got out of bed 2.5 hours later. The laundry was sending out signals that it needs to be done soon as I am soon running out of clothes to wear, not to mention that since most of my laundry consists of gym clothes, the coldness of winter can freeze in only but so much smell. After getting some groceries as I run some errands, fearing that nowhere will be open in the next few days of the Lunar New Year celebrations, I pretty much spent the rest of the day in front of the TV catching up with F.R.I.E.N.D.S. with instant macaroni and cookies.
I know, a nice long hot shower will be a nice pick me up. But it is just too cold to go out... I finally pulled myself out of bed this morning and made it to the gym before work. I have been living the past 2 days with the same clothes on and no make up. Who cares anyways? It is no
t like there is anyone over here I am trying to impress. I just have to look decent and professional when I step into the office, even so, it is not like I will be meeting Mr. Right, candidates, or clients. Pffft... It is another one of THOSE episodes. The will power to actually groom myself is on the low. I will just move around in my IKEA IRMA throw today. Even though I look like Linus (from Peanuts), but I am warm. So, who cares? Swimming in the cold tempreature with a cold; maybe I am falling into depression.
Great, just great!
I know, a nice long hot shower will be a nice pick me up. But it is just too cold to go out... I finally pulled myself out of bed this morning and made it to the gym before work. I have been living the past 2 days with the same clothes on and no make up. Who cares anyways? It is no
t like there is anyone over here I am trying to impress. I just have to look decent and professional when I step into the office, even so, it is not like I will be meeting Mr. Right, candidates, or clients. Pffft... It is another one of THOSE episodes. The will power to actually groom myself is on the low. I will just move around in my IKEA IRMA throw today. Even though I look like Linus (from Peanuts), but I am warm. So, who cares? Swimming in the cold tempreature with a cold; maybe I am falling into depression.Great, just great!
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Picking Up the Writing Pad
With the peak of technoligical advancements in communications, how many of us would actually put anything down in pen and paper anymore? "Writing" letters is close to unheard of these days with emails and IMs, and yet, there is always sentimental about receiving post. The thought of someone actually putting their thoughts into handwritten words, although not perfect as print, but is indeed heartwarming, and never fails to put a smile across the face.
*The last letter I wrote was around May 2006. It was never posted.*
Picking up the writing pad again it was so difficult to express what I wanted to say. I had loads to say, but just did not know how. (Yep, you got me...) It was very strange to me that writing a letter in the language that I best express myself could be so difficult. How weird it is that I could only describe what is going on in my mind right now in a language that I refuse to speak these days, but the overall picture has nothing to do with the tongue or culture? Was it the language or the content? It has never took me that long to write out a paragraph unless it was for my thesis. My heart races, ears starting to get hot, and my palms starting to sweat as I go through again and again in my head what I would like to tell.
Maybe, just maybe... Nah, thinking about it in that light will be giving too much pressure. Nevertheless, I could not deny that there is something magical happening as I penned down carefully my message. It seemed like it took hours for the letter to be completed, sealed, but it was left on the table over night before I had the courage to take it to the post office. Even after the stamp was fixed, I wondered whether it is a good idea... ... ...
I handed the letter to the postal staff and walked back blushing. It was the coldness outdoors, my fever, or it could be... something else.
Picking up the writing pad again it was so difficult to express what I wanted to say. I had loads to say, but just did not know how. (Yep, you got me...) It was very strange to me that writing a letter in the language that I best express myself could be so difficult. How weird it is that I could only describe what is going on in my mind right now in a language that I refuse to speak these days, but the overall picture has nothing to do with the tongue or culture? Was it the language or the content? It has never took me that long to write out a paragraph unless it was for my thesis. My heart races, ears starting to get hot, and my palms starting to sweat as I go through again and again in my head what I would like to tell.
Maybe, just maybe... Nah, thinking about it in that light will be giving too much pressure. Nevertheless, I could not deny that there is something magical happening as I penned down carefully my message. It seemed like it took hours for the letter to be completed, sealed, but it was left on the table over night before I had the courage to take it to the post office. Even after the stamp was fixed, I wondered whether it is a good idea... ... ...
I handed the letter to the postal staff and walked back blushing. It was the coldness outdoors, my fever, or it could be... something else.
Monday, February 4, 2008
Jaded Apprehension
Embark on a new relationship only when you are ready.
Clarity, transparency, and truthfulness are highly valued whenever I make a new acquaintance, and these are also much emphasized when dealing with potential love interests. Starting a new friendship is often easier as we ideally embrace each other just the way we are; however, this approach is not commonly shared when it comes to romance and dating as our past relationships often complicates matters for everyone. Therefore, unless one is ready to let go, have proper closure, and willing to start afresh with the heart, mind, and will for a new relationship, he or she should refrain from getting others involved for the risk of hurting every party is too great.
We all have baggages from our past. How deep and close we were to our previous love(s) is reflected in how we deal with the relationship when it ends. It is only human understanding that the more in hurt shows how much we really cared for each other. Nevertheless, does this mean that we should hold on, even if it was just the good, to what was cherished most? Could we not choose the option of clearing things, pack them up, and store them in the depths of our memories, only to look back years later for the good that it helped us grow stronger and understand what we trully seek for in finding our life-long companion? Why don't we throughly close or finish that chapter in our love book and move on with a new one with fresh beginnings? It is often easier said than done, as mere humans, we find security to familiarity in what we had, thinking that it was the best of times, fearing that there would not be a better one in the future.
I do not lack of such exposure and have now chose to be clean and clear cut with the whole notion of "falling in love." (Maybe a little too much as I have been commented that my choice reflects only reason and seem reflect "machanical-love" instead of the much desired "passionate/spur-of-the-moment" kind of love.) Being an idealist, I believe that every new relationship should be true. This can only happen if the focus is on the present but yet embracing the past to have a deeper understanding in order to be able to love one another for who they are. Passion would then stem from such transparency in each other with a walk that truly belongs to this couple and theirs only. If I do hold on to my past, it would only be a hinderance, as it gives grounds for comparison and expectations for the new other, making him or her an item of mere consolation and self-gratification. No proper conversation or a dance of love would exist.
For the sake of being able to truly fall in love again, I have taken the extreme which is often thought mean and heartless, as I totally severe every possible thing that links me with a past relationship. It is often harsh and often not easy to heal from; however, for the sake of being fair to myself and my future love, it is a step that I have chosen. It takes time, endurance, and one will receive criticisms and pre-judgments from others. Many would not understand, but I am weak and my heart needs to be straigthened out and the cobwebs cleared before I am able to give my all in a new relationship. Yes, time is indeed needed and having someone who understands that this is what needs to be done while being patient. loving, and supportive is the ideal for moving on. How many of us out there who are willing to wait, or be so fortunate to be blessed with someone like such?
We all need to straighten out our closets and deal with the skeletons that hide inside. Time, patience, and a helping hand would ease the project. It will be accomplished and over someday. I think I have made things complicated than ever, but the understanding of love is simple, and yet we need to be able to handle such complexities to truly grasp the concept to make it come through straightforward and simple, that it sticks fast to the essence of true love. Till then, I will wait patiently and look forward to the day when the clouds have cleared, letting through the warm sunshine and breeze to allow the love boat to sail again. From there, we will be able to embark on a new journey together in search of true happiness.
Sunday, February 3, 2008
Could it GET any colder?
It is getting surprisingly cold over here. I have spent winters in Japan when tempreatures drop to -5C, but I would say that I am spending my coldest winter ever here in Macao.
Before my move, I asked around and someone told me that it never gets cold in Macao, after all, it is considered to share Southeast Asian climate. "It would probably get cold in the peak of winter, but that would be around 12 degrees for the maximum of 2 days." News reports and weather forecasts has been announcing that the region has reached the coldest ever in the recent 7 years of less than 8C and the length of close to 2 weeks. I know it is getting too cold for me when I am sleeping bundled up with sweaters and throws, and when I can see my breath when I am indoors. The main difference in dealing with the cold over here is that I do not have any form of heating or insulation. There is no "culture" to fire up the central heating, switch the air-conditioner to warm up the room, sitting around a kotatsu, etc when the mercury drops below 15C. Mmm, all I can think of that might warm me up is having o-nabe, fondue, or Chinese "fire pot" to keep me comfortable from the inside. In fact, I am tempted to go buy a down jacket!
Finally, the ice-queen is seated in her chilly throne room. People seem to be surprised when "cold" was my answer to "how are you?" I even have a few guys using the opportunity to be smart, "Don't you have a boyfriend to keep you warm?" Oh please... I guess I need someone to explain to me whether questions relating to the other half is a common topic for first time conversations with strangers. What happened to the good old focus around interests or work? Are people that desparate to meet someone just for the sake of dating them? Is there no place for "let's start off as friends"? There is no one to officially commit to the title of "boyfriend," but maybe I should just answer "yes" for the sake of convenience when being chatted up by the aforementioned people. The ice-queen speaks "Whomsoever asks the question 'Do you have a boyfriend?' in the first instance would have his chances of ever seeing me in person destroyed, lest he is able to tactfully phrase the question." Let this be etched in ice.
Before my move, I asked around and someone told me that it never gets cold in Macao, after all, it is considered to share Southeast Asian climate. "It would probably get cold in the peak of winter, but that would be around 12 degrees for the maximum of 2 days." News reports and weather forecasts has been announcing that the region has reached the coldest ever in the recent 7 years of less than 8C and the length of close to 2 weeks. I know it is getting too cold for me when I am sleeping bundled up with sweaters and throws, and when I can see my breath when I am indoors. The main difference in dealing with the cold over here is that I do not have any form of heating or insulation. There is no "culture" to fire up the central heating, switch the air-conditioner to warm up the room, sitting around a kotatsu, etc when the mercury drops below 15C. Mmm, all I can think of that might warm me up is having o-nabe, fondue, or Chinese "fire pot" to keep me comfortable from the inside. In fact, I am tempted to go buy a down jacket!
Finally, the ice-queen is seated in her chilly throne room. People seem to be surprised when "cold" was my answer to "how are you?" I even have a few guys using the opportunity to be smart, "Don't you have a boyfriend to keep you warm?" Oh please... I guess I need someone to explain to me whether questions relating to the other half is a common topic for first time conversations with strangers. What happened to the good old focus around interests or work? Are people that desparate to meet someone just for the sake of dating them? Is there no place for "let's start off as friends"? There is no one to officially commit to the title of "boyfriend," but maybe I should just answer "yes" for the sake of convenience when being chatted up by the aforementioned people. The ice-queen speaks "Whomsoever asks the question 'Do you have a boyfriend?' in the first instance would have his chances of ever seeing me in person destroyed, lest he is able to tactfully phrase the question." Let this be etched in ice.
Saturday, February 2, 2008
F.R.I.E.N.D.S.
Remember the TV series? I love the program. Even though I did not manage to catch every episode since it started in my high school days, the theme song and characters pretty much shaped an idea of what my peers and I had for our future. Now, I am at the age where the 6 friends were presented on the tele, and I wonder whether such fun and excitement awaits me.
I was reconnected lately through Facebook to the group of friends from my high school era who were THIS (fingers tightly crossed together) close. My class mates are now scattered around the world, but yet some of them still share the closest bond ever. Although there is a tinge of envy that I could not be with them in pictures depicting their latest fun-filled adventure (we are still close although not physically. I was told that they are used to not having me around since I am always on the go and can not join them.), but it is indeed heartwarming that the friendship shared still stand strong after 10 years and will still continue to do so. We still care deeply for each other, and are seriously interested in how life has been treating them.
Oh, I miss hanging out with my buddies. When will we be able to hang out like the good ol' times again? I have reached the point in my life where I have a place of my own, a distinctive role in the work force, and the earning power to manage life as I wish. What would make my time in Macao perfect is that I have my buddies with me hanging out at my place for it was decorated just for such a purpose. We could have so much fun watching TV together, talking, eating around the table, etc. Hmm, watching the series again fans the flame of my lonely thoughts leading me to think that it would be super if I have people sharing my apartment with me. How wonderful it would be if I have my adorable buddies here, or even a roommate!
Well, I just have to make the best out of my situation now. I had my work mates over a week or two ago for dinner and a movie, and we had SO much fun. A good group of 7, we shared a meal, watched a horror DVD, and played cards. It was a blast. Imagine if I could have such company all the time! (Laughs)
Ending with F.R.I.E.N.D.S. I think I am very close to be a “Monica.” I am a total control freak and insist on playing the best host. I am very picky about how things should be and the effort put into cleaning and straightening out my place. But apart from that, I guess I am still very much me. (Haha.. made you think!)
Wrapping it up, sing the theme song from the Rembrants as the catchy tune does talk about a friend who will always be there for you. Cheers to you, my friends!
I was reconnected lately through Facebook to the group of friends from my high school era who were THIS (fingers tightly crossed together) close. My class mates are now scattered around the world, but yet some of them still share the closest bond ever. Although there is a tinge of envy that I could not be with them in pictures depicting their latest fun-filled adventure (we are still close although not physically. I was told that they are used to not having me around since I am always on the go and can not join them.), but it is indeed heartwarming that the friendship shared still stand strong after 10 years and will still continue to do so. We still care deeply for each other, and are seriously interested in how life has been treating them.
Oh, I miss hanging out with my buddies. When will we be able to hang out like the good ol' times again? I have reached the point in my life where I have a place of my own, a distinctive role in the work force, and the earning power to manage life as I wish. What would make my time in Macao perfect is that I have my buddies with me hanging out at my place for it was decorated just for such a purpose. We could have so much fun watching TV together, talking, eating around the table, etc. Hmm, watching the series again fans the flame of my lonely thoughts leading me to think that it would be super if I have people sharing my apartment with me. How wonderful it would be if I have my adorable buddies here, or even a roommate!
Well, I just have to make the best out of my situation now. I had my work mates over a week or two ago for dinner and a movie, and we had SO much fun. A good group of 7, we shared a meal, watched a horror DVD, and played cards. It was a blast. Imagine if I could have such company all the time! (Laughs)
Ending with F.R.I.E.N.D.S. I think I am very close to be a “Monica.” I am a total control freak and insist on playing the best host. I am very picky about how things should be and the effort put into cleaning and straightening out my place. But apart from that, I guess I am still very much me. (Haha.. made you think!)
Wrapping it up, sing the theme song from the Rembrants as the catchy tune does talk about a friend who will always be there for you. Cheers to you, my friends!
Friday, February 1, 2008
Happy February!
My, time sure fly past fast. A month has eaten itself into 2008 and what have I been doing? As I tackle the complaints and struggles I have here, I am thankful that I have been able to survive over here and keep swimming till the time comes. I simply can not wait till the next chapter of my life unravels itself. I have a countdown clock on my blog and calendars reminding me of how long more I have to wait in patience. As I strike off days on my calendar while enjoying the absolutely cute bunny calendar お母さん sent me, I am aware that I have about 6 months or X weeks to go. The wave of emotions within me is just overwhelming. Oh boy, Oh Boy, OH BOY!
Dear God, help me to make the most out of my days here. Grant me patience and perserverence as I move towards the path you lead me. Humble me and make me faithful by your grace. Amen.
Dear God, help me to make the most out of my days here. Grant me patience and perserverence as I move towards the path you lead me. Humble me and make me faithful by your grace. Amen.
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