Christmas Day 2008

It was Christmas morning, the young ones rushed to the living room where the tree was and started attacking the presents as everyone gathered. Everyone is smiling and laughing in the cozy atmosphere while waiting for Christmas dinner as we enjoy the winter wonderland outside...

The perception of Christmases in the west was not actualized as how most of us would have pictured it. My Christmas this year had a distinctive flavor of its own.

I was awaken by the sound of the tele and joined the family in the living room around 8am. The skies outside was dark and grey. We just planted ourselves and fixed our eyes on the local broadcasts. Vege-ing was literally what we did all morning with an occasional break to get the morning snacks of cookies. Big sis played "super-host" as she started to fix Christmas dinner as mom, Su-Anne, and I watched the classic "My Fair Lady."

Christmas dinner was served with a wondrous spread of English Christmas trimmings surrounding the main course, roast lamb! We sat, we ate, and as every good Malaysian, we were done in record speed and even put away all tableware cleaned and dried within 2 hours! We wined and dined, and moved back into the living room for desserts and more TV.

At the beginning hours of the evening, we did presents and everyone was excited like children. I was not expecting much and therefore was euphoric to be receiving gifts from the family and the family to be. Suzanne got me a Christmas mug and sheep jammies, Su-Anne and Mark supplied me with cosmetics for the year, and mom fed the soul with one of the top selling motivational books in Malaysia for the year.

More food appeared as we took turns to nap in front of the entertaining box. Notions of playing games were soon scraped due to the hypnotic grip of Christmas programs. We later feasted on the leftovers at Christmas dinner and threw in some fresh salad and salmon. Scrumptious...

What I liked best about today was that we just lazed around ALL DAY in our pajamas! I guess we are well rested for the crazy shop-out tomorrow... Boxing Day! Time to get a bang on my buck, or rather pound on my Pound! (Hehe...)

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Ow---------yeow-------ch!

I could barely move.
I can't take off my clothes to shower.
I can't raise my arms.
All I can do is just lay down and whale around.

My sis' apartment is great.
It would be super if someone could turn the thermostat up.
I snuggle in bed and baby my jet-lag.
The morning passed,
My body still aches.
Running to across the terminal at Chicago sure turned me into a flake.

I find my way to the library and the grocery store,
My memory of this place has not faded at all.
Before another nap to nurse the body pain,
I got myself some ingredients for baking,
and managed to fry my Mac charger.
I guess I have to be content with a PC.

Ouch and yeowch is all I can say,
After rubbing analgesic cream it still is the same.
I need to start baking,
and call a few people...
I need to pack again later
for my brother awaits at Birmingham tomorrow.

Is this a poem?
This definitely does not rhyme.
I am in pain so I will try this sometime again.

This is No Joke

I am now blogging to you from Manchester Airport in the UK. Yep. My vacation officially starts now, but not without a story in itself to tell.

It was just my luck to be flying out of Chicago on a snow day. No, let me correct myself, a SNOW DAY! As much as I like winter and the snow, it is ridiculous how an afternoon of snow caused a normally 30 minutes drive to O'Hare to be a absurd 3 hour inch in traffic. Every mile seems like forever.

My flight was to leave at 5:35pm, after wrapping everything up on campus, Brian picked me up at 3. The snow started snowing around 10:30 and would only cease in the wee hours of the morning. We journeyed steadily in the snow but the back up of traffic started soon after we were on the highway. It was a LONG drive.

Looking at the weather outside, I reckon that flights would be delayed, if not canceled. What mattered more to me was arriving at the airport safe and see how things go from there. I arrived around 6:15pm but the flight was delayed till 6:40. The lady at the counter quickly checked me in, but was unable to check my luggage in. So, thank God I packed light. I pieced my backpack together and begged the security officer to let me pass. I battled through security check with my heavy bags, tore the paper bag that was holding my hand luggage (and other stuff) (Good thing I had thought of bringing my grocery tote bag). I was apologizing profusely and was thankful that only my lotion and facial wash had to be junked.

I raced to the gate with the heavy load of close to 14kg on my back and my original carry-on of maybe 5-7kg. (Hey, I am packing for 3 weeks! It is a huge accomplishment that I am not lugging around the regular travel bag on wheels with all my clothes and another pair of boots.) It was not an easy tasks as I had to keep switching my bag to different hands when they started turning blue from the weight. Again, Lady Luck must be bursting with laughter when my gate WAS the farthest from the security check point. This would be the second time that the entire flight was waiting for me. I was panting and undoubtedly embarrassed when I got to my seat. I had to dismantle my backpack again in order to stow everything away. The last time I remembered sweating like a pig in winter was on my ski trip. It took me close to another half hour just to catch my breath and calmed myself down. Luckily, the plane was waiting for the staff and pilot who was also stuck in traffic. Everyone sat and waited in the airplane. We finally took off at 7:35pm.

After doing the math, it would only be logical that I will arrive at Manchester for my transit late. My flight for Glasgow was scheduled at 8:35am local time, we arrived from Chicago at 9am. I made my way to the American Airlines office and they arranged me on the next available flight north that departs at 2:40pm. I might not have packed my address book and had to go through desperate measures to get Suzanne's mobile number as yes, silly me, I forgot to write it down. Hallelujah there is free wireless and I had my computer with me.

THUS, I have another 4 hours to burn till my 1 hour flight before I get to reunite with Suzanne. I repacked my stuff and left the minimum on my now 1 carry-on. I don't have my charger with me thus I think watching a movie on my MacBook would not be a good idea. Since I had a nap on the plane, I reckon I would do just fine until dinner tonight. It is now 4:4oam Chicago time... I will talk to you guys later. Pray that the next leg would be nothing but smooth sailing. Thank God I made it this far with my sanity intact.

Peace & Serenity of the Season

"Refreshed" is a word that found its way back to my mind this morning as I climbed out of bed. It has been a long while since I last remember having a good night's sleep. Although I have only slept for a few hours, the stress and anxiety of the Fall semester was washed away like the snow by the rain on Saturday. Like outside, my senses are crisp and fresh. The silence of the room was peaceful, but I do miss Colleen, B, and Nem.

The morning ritual before heading out the door was accompanied by the carols sung by Celtic Woman. Although warm from the shower, cold was felt by every bone once I stepped out of the apartment. 15C? 15F? I must have missed the minus sign before the numbers as I glanced at my PC before putting on my jacket. Cold has a new definition. When the surface of exposed skin starts to hurt in a burning pain and when I feel like putting on another coat or two, that would be cold. At least, I know that I should not hesitate to reach for my coat as the lake-effect only guarantees that it would reach the low of -30C at the peak of winter here.

Focusing on things that would keep me warm, I think of the relaxing evenings I have had since Friday. My weekend movies were adjusted to supply the commercialized festivities of Christmas with movies on the TV. While the TV is on, my hands were busy with the knitting needles. For a change to something more intelligent, I would pick up a book and read while being lulled by soft carols. Maybe I should put in some time for catching up with my correspondences too.

It will be another night of "Suemae-time" tonight. I look forward to heading back and whipping up myself something yummy before I collect my thoughts and stuff. Pray that the snow storm tomorrow will be VERY kind and not to hinder any travel plans.

Turning Violent... (grr...)

Being a moody person is only half of the description about me. The other half is that I am a highly-stressed walking time bomb. My crazy antics are just mini let-gos that stabilizes the internal madness; otherwise, this bunny might just explode and landing her in an asylum.

I found out that sugar does wonders. And since I have not been having sugar since the beginning of the month... it is war between my Jekyll and Hyde in the pressured times of the Finals week.

How could it be possible to avoid sweets at this time of the year? Christmas is just around the corner and it is a season of baked goods galore. There are bursts of parties here and there and sugar, candy, cakes, and cookies are the main spread. Great... just great!

I had a plan on steps to complete my semester while trying to maintain composure and to wrap it up well. It is a wonder that with the heavy course load and lifestyle I am able to maintain a good grade. (I wonder why does it matter so much? Well, I know the reasons... I am just a very disturbed person with the expectations I set for myself based on my role and identity I walk with.) My outburst on Facebook has brought out the good souls of this season. Although I can't do anything more, I just hope that the damage will be minimum. I am stressed out enough with an elective class that I think, due to the miscommunication in grading choice, is already screwing me over.

Anyways, I am done. I am free! Well, technically, I still have lots to sort out in my personal and financial side of things. Nevertheless, I am glad that I can now start to enjoy the season and let the excitement that leads to my Christmas break build up now.

The no-sweets diet is not really working when I substitute my stress-binge eating with food like cheese and sausages. *Sigh* I went to the opposite polar and started stuffing myself with high-sodium foods. Believe it or not, last night I had my first instant noodle since, possibly, summer! That made my instant noodle break lasted for more than 3 months. Imagine that!

I find myself singing this under my breath...

Baby, It's Cold Outside
*click title for music*

I really can't stay - Baby it's cold outside
I've got to go away - Baby it's cold outside
This evening has been - Been hoping that you'd drop in
So very nice - I'll hold your hands, they're just like ice
My mother will start to worry - Beautiful, what's your hurry
My father will be pacing the floor - Listen to the fireplace roar
So really I'd better scurry - Beautiful, please don't hurry
well Maybe just a half a drink more - Put some music on while I pour

The neighbors might think - Baby, it's bad out there
Say, what's in this drink - No cabs to be had out there
I wish I knew how - Your eyes are like starlight now
To break this spell - I'll take your hat, your hair looks swell
I ought to say no, no, no, sir - Mind if I move a little closer
At least I'm gonna say that I tried - What's the sense in hurting my pride
I really can't stay - Baby don't hold out
Ahh, but it's cold outside

I simply must go - Baby, it's cold outside
The answer is no - Ooh baby, it's cold outside
This welcome has been - I'm lucky that you dropped in
So nice and warm -- Look out the window at that storm
My sister will be suspicious - Man, your lips look so delicious
My brother will be there at the door - Waves upon a tropical shore
My maiden aunt's mind is vicious - Gosh your lips look delicious
Well maybe just a half a drink more - Never such a blizzard before

I've got to go home - Oh, baby, you'll freeze out there
Say, lend me your comb - It's up to your knees out there
You've really been grand - Your eyes are like starlight now
But don't you see - How can you do this thing to me
There's bound to be talk tomorrow - Making my life long sorrow
At least there will be plenty implied - If you caught pneumonia and died
I really can't stay - Get over that old out
Ahh, but it's cold outside

Baby it's cold outside

Who Do I See?

Could the effectiveness of effort only be limited to specific things in life? Maybe I am trying too hard? Action based on reason might not be logical after all.

I follow my heart and do what I know would make me happy, the feeling I get when I know the other smiles from the heart from the things I do. Never would I want to force anyone to do anything they do not want to. I guess being indifferent would be the safest route. But would it not be hypocritical if my thoughts does not match my actions? The conversations of care on concern would not be sincere if they do not correspond to the maintenance of a relationship. Why should there be a masquerade of true feelings? Could sincerity be that suffocating? Maybe I am just with those who do not understand me at all? Or could it be that the problem is with me?

The thought came like a slap of cold air. Only recently did I find out the reason/concept behind "Your thoughts are too heavy for me." Maybe being my perfectionist self in doing all I can to making others happy might not be a good idea after all. But could it be wrong to do all I can in order not to let every possible opportunity go to waste? Back to basics, I can not make everyone happy, nor make them understand and accept me the way that I am.

I guess I should go back to being the ice-queen and not care too much about the matters of the heart. Let them come, as D says. Why should I even do anything? However, I can't help it if I find my actions responding to my rational of social order and etiquette. I am not trying too hard, it just comes naturally. Do I really make such a bad girlfriend? Am I being myself causing discomfort to others? Do I repel the opposite sex that badly? Am I that intimidating as a female? Should I seriously consider the role of the frail damsel in distress?

A tragedy led me to contact V. We talked for a while and I guess I am slowly unwinding the knots and considering the guys I have dated. Funny enough, after my first official relationship, V has pretty much influenced how I treat guys who came after me. "Give the guy a chance if he tries so hard." "Why can't the girl make the first move?" It goes against what I would normally do, "Why bother when I know he is not the one?" It echoes arrogance but it is indeed scary when I am right. The chance was given and I opened myself to possibilities. It was not a waste of time, I did learn something through all of these relationships.

Be it a joke or not, V mentioned that we were meant to be together right from the start. I chuckled. Maybe, maybe not. Our time spent apart and the people we encountered in life help mature us to be the person who is meant for one another. Who knows? Although we have feelings for one another, time was the factor. Things would be almost perfect if we could speed up time that allows us to mature.

Getting back in contact would do us both good. Talking to V always helped me sort my thoughts out. Just like the good ol' times of high school. I look forward to chatting with him again. Buddies indeed.

The Death of Me

Fine. This phrase maybe a little over used this semester. Wait. I have only used it once for my strategy files and idea box project for Language Arts. Thus I guess it will be ok for me to use it again for my final project for Middle School Methods. I am really not in the mood to work on this research paper and I have been procrastinating since I completed all my other assignments for the semester since Wednesday.

One week left till the end of the Fall semester at Judson. Completing all written assignments, I have only my finals for Children's Literature on Monday. I have my journal article presentation prepared for ESL Methods. All my assignments are handed in for Language Arts and my finals is waiting for me on Wednesday. And all I have left for the entire semester is this research paper for middle school methods. The pain is to prepare 35 corresponding questions to the 10 chapters of the textbook, interview some middle school teachers, compare and contrast the answers with the text book ideal, make the connections, and conclude with a grade for the middle school in question. Whoopie.

I am not in the mood for work. I want sweets and candy. The cookies and cakes are beckoning... Argh! Well, just a week to go. God, please help me.

On the bright side, I did pass my bilingual transitional test! We had "Storm the Dorm" on Thursday where staff and faculty members surprise students in the dorm bringing cookies and snacks to encourage the "studying" students. I had a short chat with Dr. C, no, Santa, and my roomies and I got some CDs and beef jerky. We had a Christmas banquet, but the formal dressed-up Christmas events happened over the weekend with the need for purchased tickets. Although I am on a no baked goods/cookie/candy diet since Monday, I did stuff myself with sausages and cheese at the home party at Dr. S' place. B had her senior design show on Friday adn I loved her work. The snow is beautiful and I am thinking that the campus will be white until it gets warm again.

Enough of slacking, I need to concentrate... Gah~ This middle school paper will be the death of me.

Staring at a dot

I am trying to focus. Although the beauty of the snow outside is mesmerizing, my body seems to be playing a mean trick on me. I have no idea why it is ready to go back to bed again 2 hours after I am up in the morning and the energy level just crashes down hill from there. I am thankful I don't have the sniffles, but work needs to be done without me falling asleep, literally, everywhere at anytime.

Judson had its Christmas Banquet yesterday. I would say it could be rather grand indeed. It is the first time I actually enjoyed the food at the cafeteria, more than my only favorite of spinach quiche as everything else is just nasty. They got the salmon right, and I was even considering getting thirds for the juicy beef tenderloin. It was scrumptious and a little rare, just the way I like my meat. The dessert spread was rather festive too and they had a chocolate fountain. With all the decorations up and the life background music provided, everything would be close to perfect if people we a tinge more dressed up.

At the upper commons, there was a live jazz band playing as students took pictures with Santa Claus under a huge tree and students sticking their raffle tickets into bags to win gadgets like iPod touch, Wii, toys, tickets, and gift cards. JianHui gave me her share of raffle tickets, but since I had no email, I guess I didn't win anything after all.

Nevertheless, I am rather pleased with myself as I have completed all my course work for 2 of my classes now. I just have those of 2 more classes and 2 finals lined up next week. I will also be the coolest teacher in town as I received a bag of goodies for my last day as a teacher's aide. I am now equipped with cool posters and teacher-y stationery. I love it! The boys were also super sweet in signing a card for me. Zac and Ian even made me paper snowflakes with personal messages on them. The male kind are still sweet and cute at the age of 10...

Well, back to completing homework today as I took the entire night off yesterday catching up with Bleach and I made some fruit jelly. It is a strict no sweets diet till Christmas but fruit doesn't count. Yeah, tease all you want but I need to be cordially social at the class get-together this afternoon.

Let it snow, Let It Snow, LET IT SNOW!!!

Snow has been in the weather forecast all day. As a matter of fact, while watching TV earlier, we are given warning to be alert for snow storms that expires at noon, December 1. It doesn't matter. I love snow.

As the snow piles up outside, I wish it could cover all that is in my mind right now. How nice would it be if everything could be reset to a blank canvas. But then again, would I really want that to happen? Apart from the sight and stillness that comes with every snowfall, I love the feeling and sound of snow crunching beneath me everywhere I go. Crunch, crunch, crunch... if only my worries would go away.

*******

I found out more about myself over the last week. I am an obsessive compulsive person when it comes to crafts and decor. I spent the whole of Tuesday morning putting up the Christmas decorations at work and was on the decorating train and started cutting out paper snowflakes at Christina's prompt. I had fun. Now, visiting the place feels like walking into a party.

Under the stress I am facing in wrapping up the semester, I guess having a pair of scissors and paper handy would be a good idea. After Thanksgiving dinner, I started making more paper snowflakes. For a break on Friday, I folded Swedish Christmas Stars. And within 2 days, I have almost completed a cover for my laptop. I also helped with the kids program at church on Sunday, making crafts, decorating cookies, and serving hot chocolate. It was a good break from working on homework throughout my Thanksgiving break.

It's December. Man! This year went past fast. There is so much I would like to say but I need my head to be focused in wrapping up the semester. 2 weeks to go. I would appreciate prayer, not only for myself, but for all those who will be traveling this month.

THANKSGIVING

This holiday is a very intriguing concept to me.

(1) Historically, it would be a day of remembering how the Indians helped the pilgrims settle in the new land, teaching them how to grow corn and the sharing of food. But the immigrants killed most of the natives and drove them out of the land of their forefathers.

(2) People now have the whole traditional Thanksgiving spread. (I had the chance to have 3 Thanksgiving meal: on campus, at church, and at Colleen's place.) Turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce, gravy, mashed potatoes, pumpkin pie/dish, green bean casserole... It is a day where people stuff themselves as they stuffed the bird.

(3) Some hold this day sacred as they frown that commercial places have placed Christmas decorations once the Halloween decor came down. In fear that people would forget this important day, some insist on only having the tree put up, listening to carols... after the Thanksgiving meal or during Thanksgiving weekend.

(4) Black Friday, the day after Thanksgiving and the Christmas shopping begins. An American shopping phenomenon when the sales in the stores cross over from the red to black. It is this time of the year where retail stores make the most of their sales during the pre-Christmas season. Stores have sales beginning from 4am to 1pm! I guess this would resemble the British 'tradition' of Boxing day.

Thanksgiving was a welcomed break as Judson started the holidays from Wednesday. Even so, I am glad because this gave me a few days off classes and I could work on my homework and assignment before the crashing final 2 weeks of the semester. Thus, this year, though honored that I was extended a few invitations to spend my first "real" Thanksgiving, I spent it at Colleen's as she was the closest to family I have here. It was fun to be in a home and spent the whole day stuffing myself. The appetizers were served at 3 and dinner at 5. After dinner, there was a huge spread of dessert and we had a gingerbread-house-making/decorating competition. The 21 of us who came for the dinner had fun being kids again. After we got back to campus, my roommates and I put up the itty-bitty Christmas tree we had and I cut out some paper snowflakes for decorations and the windows.

I do have much to be thankful for this year. Who would have imagined that I would actually be in Chicago right now? I am thankful that God plants a desire in my heart and He provided according to His will. It is not easy at all, but I am learning to rely on His grace and faithfulness. I am a little bummed as I am focusing on my selfish wants and fail to see how blessed I am in the big picture. I have my health, my stubborn energy to press on with my work/studies, little to no money for indulgence, and I have wonderful people placed in my life. I need help with a few other areas of my life which I am having little to no faith now... but yeah, in all things and circumstances, be thankful upon the Lord, for He is great.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!

My 200th Post!

Thank you for your support and prayers. I congratulate you for bearing with my rantings and crazy adventures.

I have not written for what seems like ages now. Busy is an understatement, but somehow in between all of my workload, I can still find time to procrastinate and laze around a bit. My thoughts are constantly stimulated with my studies and cross-cultural experiences, but most of all with my physical pangs of security to my future and dreams. The trees are almost all barren now with the icy rains. The colors of autumn are pretty much gone leaving everything is shades of grey before the anticipated blankets of snow. The schema just exaggerates the cold and lonely feeling of the season.

However, in contrast to the fluctuating coldness of the outside, I am feeling the chippy-est ever this semester. My moods are lifted to those experienced in summer. Yup, one could even catch a sparkle in my eye! Over the past 2 weeks, I have reached the point of exhaustion. I talked to Dr. D telling him that I am buring out with the madness of the semester. We came to a concensus that maybe a compromise might not be a bad thing after all.

Now you know how much I HATE the word "compromise." Why should I discount myself from my potentials and abilities? You know we should not waste! Nevertheless, I have learned that me being a perfectionist has been the cause of most of my stress. I am fairly aware that I cannot do everything, and by addressing that problem, I am lowering the expectations I have for myself to a more reasonable level. My burden was somewhat lifted when I say "Hang the grades!!!" What is more important is that I am learning something and enjoying it, rather than stressing myself over coursework that aims to equipped the young and inexperienced. It is prideful and arrogant for me to say this, but I guess I have established my credibility that even my mediocre work would still rank the top in my classes. But then again, I have already gone through college once and with the accumulated knowledge, there is no reason why I should not be doing well, if not better.

I must be doing something right for my advisor and professors agree to my decision and are glad that I "look" much better now. I was even selected by my most favorite professor here for a school honor. I have no idea what I did or how I did it, but I was extended a pretigious invitation to serve the school and gain valuable experience in my field. Your prayers are really paid off and I am eternally grateful.

November has reached its midway point now and it is only less than a month before the semester ends. My workload, assignments due, and finals are snowballing with the weeks to come. I look forward to Thanksgiving and the Christmas Break. The challenges will only get harder the coming semester and I know that I will only be able to survive by the walk of faith and living by grace. A comprehensive prayer list will be written this year instead of a Christmas wish list. Without your support, I could have never made it thus far. Thank you!

It is November and I need to vent...

Busy would not suffice for my lack of communicating lately. I am busy and have tonnes of work to be completed, but I am slowly burning out. My mind wonders and I seek pleasures in my addiction of online games. I technically spent 75% of my time outside class sitting in front of a computer. I am easily distracted. I play TALISMANIA. My addiction is bad, I will keep playing the game for hours, at work or while doing homework with the excuse that I am taking a break... Yeah, a break that goes for at least 1.5 hours!!!

Many things have been eating my mind and concentration, too many in fact that when I think about letting them out even I would find myself crazy and disorganized with the bulk load of random thoughts. I would like to just sit down and spill my guts out. Not just to anyone, but someone who seriously cares. I don't deny it. I am seeking for attention, but one that is responsive and that my audience do give a d@mn about what I think and feel. I miss...

... going on a date. I miss going out with someone (regardless gender and proximity) who is really interested to get to know me better, how I am keeping, is not judgmental, and find my rants and thought amusing or maybe entertaining even. I miss my evening walks, my English and grammar class, my sit in the parks, having a meal or coffee together... Joy, the RA, came by yesterday and gave me coffee since places were giving out free food and drinks for voters. She passed me a latte from Starbucks. I looked at the take out cup that adorned with Christmas designs... sigh! Just a year ago, I would have been having coffee at the best tasting Starbucks nation with people I would rather spend all my time with--loved ones and decent dates.

The closest I have to going on a date and having cute guys around is reading to JJ this morning. He's two and he is adorable... so are my reading buddy and the 5th graders I teach. Yup, the men in my life. How exciting! And I am feeling some pressure from a recent email dad sent.

Man! What a morning! The morning after the election. Many have ask how I think about it and how it affects me. Seriously, I would say I am indifferent to the whole ordeal but am only interested to see how the ripple of its effects would affect me. For starters, my roomies and I were never that united to watch TV right into the wee hours of the morning on a week night. All 4 of us were found in bed this morning. (B has been sleeping in the living room for the past 10 days to 2 weeks as she was working on her senior project, and Colleen has been away since Friday.) The other thing was that I really do not have a taste for politics but take interest in how it will affect me as an international student and a future teacher. Thus I look at issues of education and foreign policy/immigration. With a campaign promises of reformation, I would say that I lean towards Obama, but then again, it is only in the weight of the words of a politician. I only look forward to what is going to happen.

The aforementioned are just a glimpse of the tip of the iceberg the pandemonium in my head. I just need to unload and hopefully find someone I am comfortable speak to. I can only do so much with Skype but it would mean the world to me if there is just someone who would sit down right here, right now, and engage...
IS ANYONE OUT THERE???

Snow in October

Brr... It is cold.

Checking the weather incessantly has weaved itself into my daily online routines. I check it before I finalize my preparations for the day, before I leave any building, before I sleep, and any other time in between. The warning since yesterday was that I should be expecting sudden freezing and flurries (snow but not exactly the type that would stay on the ground an accumulate).

And it did snow! Fancy that! Even before Halloween! Colleen and I were out for a drive yesterday and it started snowing as we made our way back to the car with our groceries at Woodman. Today, it was coming down like rain during class earlier and I was walking back to work with snowlike residue on my coat. Yup! I am getting my coats out and don't be surprised if I do pull out my long coat. I am so ready for gloves too!

*********************

Thank you for your prayer and support. After another weekend of procrastination, I am breaking the norm when I turned on my computer and found out Skype was working. I called home and spoke to Su-Anne, mom, and my grandparents, waking them up bright and early. I stayed up and finished up what was due today. I also checked my mid-terms grades for my classes and thank God I am doing ok. I pray that I would only do better and catch up with my work. There are many things that are bottled up in my head waiting to be blogged... I will get to that when I am all caught up with my workload. Have a great week ahead!

Wanted by Inspiration or Force---MOTIVATION---Reward: One Happy Bunny

Dry and wilted is how I feel of late. I am fighting off thoughts that would plunge me into the catergory of being depressed, but I have learned that it is not my call.

**********************

Friday again. I guess my spirits will be lifted today. I was all dolled up for my reading buddy this morning. Unfortunately my spunky redhead was absent today, but I was not dissapointed with my time spent with Leslie. She is an ambitious reader and I am so proud of her when she spotted words like "emancipation." Good girl.

The reason I was specifically dolled up today was because it is FOUNDER'S DAY at Judson University. This was one of the RARE occasions when all roomies of 307 was present for chapel. B, Nem, and I was paying our dues as cultural ambassadors as be carry our flags in the processional, and Colleen was in the choir. I must say the 4 of us were dressed to impress. Anyways, chapel was good and it was packed. (Yes, the many rare occasions when professors are decked in their robes and many students were present since they will receive double credit hours for this day.)

I sang my heart out at the chosen hymns. I needed that. How I missed my days of choir and voice lessons. The choir then did a presentation of "Worthy is the Lamb," to me that was Handel's Messiah chorus No.53. It was strange hearing it in English and although the choir was good, I thought TCI's choir was WAY BETTER. We have life, we have good coordination, and I could hear the differences in why we sounded better under the wisdom of Tenda-sensei. I will be blasting the Messiah Commemoration CD made in celebration of TCU's 20th Anniversary when I get back to my room.

********************

Have you ever experience an immediate answer to prayer? I know I have some good ones. Well, this can be argued but I have just been thinking about how I miss having good guys around. Don't get me wrong, I love my roomies and my classmates who are nothing but wonderful, but I do miss having people around me who know, accept, and love me just the way I am and spoiling me in the gentleman/guy-kinda way. To my surprise, Mr. H, a classmate from Children's Lit, made an appearance at Financial Aid within the same hour those thoughts were running in my head! He is a dying breed of young men the world suffers. His momma brought him up right in being a gentlemen among the college students I have seen here. I think we only spoke, maybe 3 times since the end of August, but he came in today with no specific Financial Aid reasons just to say "Hi!" Bless his heart. That was sweet and it kinda made me feel good after facing social suicide at the Volkman lounge opening on Wednesday night.

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I sincerely hope that this weekend will be a good one as I battle my homework. Yep... I am still swimming. Half of the semester has gone and 7 weeks left to the end of the semester. I seriously need motivation in finding joy these days. Do pray for me that I will be able to get through this rough patch.

***********************

Ending on a lighter note....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SUNIL!!!!

Do you think Trump could do this??????

THE NEW SURVIVOR SHOW

Have you heard about the next planned Survivor show? Three businessmen and three businesswomen will be dropped into an elementary school classroom for 6 weeks. Each businessperson will be provided with a copy of their school district's curriculum, and a class of 25-30 students.

Each class will have five learning-disabled children, three with ADD, one gifted child, and two who speak limited English. Three will be labeled as severe behavior problems. Each businessperson must complete lesson plans at least 3 days in advance with annotations, and modify, organize, or create materials accordingly.

They will be required to teach students, handle misconduct, implement technology, document attendance, write referrals, correct homework and tests, make bulletin boards, compute grades, complete report cards, document benchmarks, communicate with parents regularly, and arrange parent conferences. They must also supervise recess and monitor the hallways. In addition, they will complete drills for fire, tornadoes, or shooting attacks. They must attend workshops, faculty meetings, union meetings, and curriculum development meetings, just to name a few. They must also work extra hard with those students who are behind and/or learning disabled, and strive to get them and the two non-English speaking children proficient enough to take the national achievement tests. If they are sick or having a bad day, they must not let it show. Each day, they must incorporate reading, writing, math, science, and social studies into the program. They must maintain discipline and provide an educationally stimulating environment at all times.

The business people will only have access to the golf course on the weekends, but on their new salary, they will not be able to afford it anyway. There will be no access to vendors who want to take them out to lunch, and lunch will be limited to 30 minutes. On days when they have recess duty, the business people will be permitted to use the staff restroom as long as another survival candidate is supervising their class. They will be provided with two 40-minute planning periods per week while their students are at specials. If the copier is operable, they may make copies of necessary materials at this time, provided they have not used up their allotted number of copies.
The business people must continually advance their education on their own time and pay for this advanced training themselves. Moonlighting at a second job or marrying someone with money can accomplish this. The winner will be allowed to return to his or her job.

Who still thinks teaching is easy?

My Reading Buddy

"Hey Suemae, you are gonna have a long day today, ya?"

"Yup... I need to be at school to read to my buddy, then get back on campus to work all day, and will head out to the conference at 4:30. Will be back late tonight," as rubbed shampoo into my hair.

"And you have class tomorrow morning, ya?"

"Yup... 8 to 12." Crap! I do have class. With all my homework due on Monday with a mid-term that I am falling back on my readings... How would I cope?

*** (-__0 #) ***

I jumped out of the shower and tried not to let the busy schedule get to me as I prepared. Well, no matter how crazy things get, I look forward to see CJ.

As a part of my Children's Literature class, we are participating in a reading program with the neighborhood school. We have a reading buddy in the 3rd Grade whom we will spend 30-minutes every week to read to, with, and by. I have a spunky red-headed boy and I think he is just wonderful. The purpose of this class is to get us exposed to more children's literature and see how it interacts with real children. The kids at the school are from high-risk family and some even have immediate family members who are involved in gangs, etc.

I love reading with CJ. Just half-hour of my time does wonders for both of us, and it sure reminds me about my days of English tutoring. He is a very smart kid to me. I was touched that he practiced books that were slightly above his reading level, and long books too! He read to me "Click, Clack, Moo" our last time, and today, "David Gets in Trouble." I reckon he loves fun books so I read to him "I Ain't Gonna Paint No More" and we read "Curious George" together.

He is an excellent reader to me. Not perfect, but persistent. He was flexible to indulge in my whim to read Curious George which he did not practice reading before, and although

it was LONG and a few difficult words were present, he plowed on, sound the words, and we had a great time with sidetrack stories too. I guess my time with CJ will be my oasis in this mad semester. I can't wait till next Friday!

Sleepy and Distracted Thursday

... (laughs) It is more like I am sleepy everyday of late. Somehow I seem unable to get any good rest or sleep these days. I could hardly get out of bed every morning since Sunday and that has been costing me my hours at work. Grr... I will be short of maybe 5 hours this week!

My homework pile has mutated into this grotesque and annoying beast. I have no one to blame but myself for procrastinating. Contrary to what everyone thinks, I can be a slob at times and without the OC organizing, I am just lost. I stayed up till 3 last night just to organize my homework and now I have an idea of the work that needs to be done. I talked with Dr. D yesterday and he said "Still swimming is good... Don't sink. Keeping one nostril out of the water is still ok."

Apart from the regular excuses, I am unable to do one of my assignments as it bugs me whenever I tackle it. An article for my Assessment for ESL class was due last Saturday but I had not been able to find the time since I went for the Basic Skills Test that day. After that, whenever I pick up the paper, I am simply challenged by the enormous burden of understanding the need for bilingual education. I sat down for 4 hours but still could not produce the needed response paper. The friendly RA came over to study and I ended up bouncing my thoughts off her for an hour. 2 days and a lunch conversation about the topic with my ESL focus supervisor later and I still am struggling with the paper.

And then of course, I am so ready for the semester to be over. Plans for Christmas and winter break has taken form and I even had a grocery list done for Christmas Eve, Christmas, Mom's Birthday, New Year's Eve, and New Year's dinner! I could even tell you the menu!

Well, there is just so much that needs to be done now. For today, let me just concentrate on getting through the day. I aim to squeeze at least 3 hours of work, play catch up and house-keeping during my practicum at Westminster (ooh, I need to get that Bulletein Board done soon), finish up all of my lesson plans for Middle School (5 more and an overview), and hopefully tackle my ESL workload. Hmm, I think the laundry needs to be done too...

We are insane to be doing this...

It is 1:14AM and we just got back from shopping at Woodman's. Nem is planning to go on the Master Diet and needed to get stuff for her 10 day dietary supply. Since all of us will be joining her in some form of weight reducing regime, we decided that this will be the last night for solid food to go into our system. (Well, I am cheating with fruit intake as I could not afford to look sick or pass out when I am doing my practicum and readings at the schools.)

The menu at the moment are eggs, guacamole and chips, prata, rice, and possibly pasta.

Man! A carb fest! ... and it sure feels like a Friday!

My Favorite Children Authors

My assignment for my Children's Literature class week ago was to read an autobiography of a children's author. The assignment was a challenge at first for I had trouble thinking about children's authors. I thought of my favorite authors like C.S. Lewis and J.R.R. Tolkien, but I was looking for someone more focused on writing for children. My mind turned to the things I love and what I could remember. I couldn't really decide on one, thus I picked three and did some research on all of them.

Beatrix Potter, Roald Dahl, and Enid Blyton

*click for more information

Some conclusions can be drawn immediately from my choice. (It is kind of scary as the choices reflect who I am to a great extent.)

1. They are well known and considered as classic children's authors. (I am a sucker for the classics.)
2. They were all English writers. (Hail the right use of the language and grammar! It reflects my educational background too.)
3. These authors had their share of life challenges and produced what I think are the best books of all times. (Inspiration and encouragement.)
   

Although it might seem far fetched, but I reckon some of my boldness, wittiness, and thirst for adventure and life were greatly inspired by these good people. At the end, I brought two authors to class and narrowed down on Beatrix Potter (a dead giveaway as I love bunnies).

Beatrix Potter. Written and Illustrated by Alexandra Wallner

Beatrix Potter: The Story of the Creator of Peter Rabbit by Elizabeth Buchan

Beatrix Potter by John Malam

Who are your favorite authors? Care to share? I would love to learn from you.

Outburst

I can't believe it is already the end of Wednesday. Where did my week go? Where did September go? I have been plowing forward with my head buried in the semester madness that I hardly have time to breathe. Yes, I am whining and complaining; however, it is not in bitter or negative connotations. I just wished I had more time and need not worry about money so that I can give my best in everything I do.

I am doing what I am supposed to be doing. It is rather overwhelming but it is my passion. I guess what I want is for people to give me a little credit that I am doing my best. I know it seems self-centered and that I crave for attention. I little pat on the back saying, "You are working so hard. Keep up the good work. I have faith in you that you would do good." I would like some of that in the physical realm of human beings, but knowing mankind, it is better for me to look up and ahead for it instead. I guess I am like a dog; a rub on the head and throwing me a treat for being good would be nice.

Maybe I am just being a big wuss. Maybe I just need to plan my time better. So... I am not that special. Time to stop the whining and just keep swimming.

Negatives chi aside, I am having fun with my class of boys I am observing. I get to hang around 15 really adorable 5th graders every Tuesday and Thursday. I can't wait to start teaching. It is the energy in the classroom that fuels the passion. I have been to Westminster Christian School twice now and simply love it. I guess I would use this as my oasis. The other course requirement I am looking forward to is for my time with my 3rd-grade reading buddy at Gifford School beginning next week.

I look forward to Fall break as it would give me time to catch up with all the work I am supposed to do... but before that, there is Mid-term.... WHOOPPIE!!!!

HAPPY BITHDAY, DAD~

Happy birthday to you,

Happy Birthday to you

Happy Birthday to dad, daddy, papa, father, paternal parent, male gene provider... (can't think of any other words right now)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!

Many happy returns of the day!
My best birthday wishes goes out to Samanatha and Melody too.
I miss you guys so very much.
XOXOX

Wednesday Thoughts

Skype is not being very nice to me right now. Since I own a MacBook and although it is equipped with all the gadgets, I am unable to use video/voice calls on MSN. So, I have signed up for Yahoo Messenger. Please search for me at "suemaefoo" if you wish to chat. I was chatting with Baileyna and Lucy this morning and it was "Grrreat!" Make my day, call me today!

*****

If you have nothing sincere or intelligent to say, silence is valued.
Don't advertise yourself as stupid.

*****

My crazy Wednesdays start today. (9:00-10:00) Japanese Tutoring (10:15-11:45) Financial Aid (12:00-1:00) Japanese lesson (1:15-) Lunch (2:00-5:00) Language Arts leaving at 3:40 driving out to Elgin Education Center (4:00-8:00) ELL Assessment (8:30-) Homework

I have a MOUNTAIN LOAD of assignments. Don't ask me how am I able to handle it, ask me after it is all over whether I have any sanity left.

Birthday Reflections

Birthdays are never a big thing for me. I guess I have conditioned myself not to make a big deal out of it. It is not because I think THAT less of myself, but I guess I just think that if I do mean something to some, they could treat me special everyday if they wanted. My birthday is just like every other day. For me, I just spend the day thinking about life, just like every other day, maybe more than any other day. I do enjoy spending time with those who really care about my journey of life.

LIFE came crashing at me. It is challenging. It comes with my pursuit of my passion, and thus even with all my whining, I will overcome and demand nothing but success. At this moment, I just wish that I have been training myself hard to deal with everything. It is not impossible, I am just tired and need more organization.

I was really stressed out Monday night after I left ESL Methods. My pile of coursework just mutated into a beast that takes pleasure in drowning my soul. It is not all bad, just a little too overwhelming as the time I wish to have to complete them is a luxury I do not have. Waves of emotions came crashing upon me. I miss having those who work magic on my rainy days around me. I retreated to a long hot bath and cookie making to cheer myself up.

Putting emotions to work is probably the best thing for me in times like such. Colleen asked me to proofread a very important letter of recommendation for the appointment of full professorship of a professor whom we both adore. The 2.5 hours spent on it brought back memories of translating paperwork at TCU, I get to see what a smart student's writing is like and compare it to mine, and I finally KNOW that my writing is not bad at all.

At midnight, B and Nemma came jumping out from the bedroom and scream-sang "Happy Birthday" at the top of their lungs. (It was a big thing as these two are the most mellow and passive people apart from me. That little activity possibly shortened another few years of Nem's life. It meant a lot.)

Today was just another full day of work and homework was the only thing on my mind. I did take my morning slow and reported in for work slightly past 11 bring Jamba Juice for my favorite Financial Aid people. They gave me a surprise of Dunkin Donuts and my 2nd b-day song. It was nice. I hid there for the rest of the day and took off slightly early for a date with my homework. While making dinner, Macchan called!!! Maaaa-bin called me and we caught up. Man! I missed that guy! We reminisced about the fun birthdays we shared to share.

I made dinner for myself and Nem, then brought it to her at the library. I made it back for HOUSE but was certainly not in the mood for homework anymore. The build up of annoyance just put me in the driving mood and I steered Colleen and B out the door for a drive. We drove around to the normal places we go and chilled at Dunkin Donut to wait for Nem to get off work. We picked her up at 11 and went to Denny's for more food.

There is no big deal about my birthday. I was hoping some people to ring me up or something, but I had fun replying the many Facebook messages received. Thanks, guys. Your prayers will sustain my day, semester, and year.

Celebrating My 5th Aniversary of My 21st Birthday

The phrase was borrowed from a close friend of mine. I guess most of us succumb to peer pressure thinking that revealing one's age is a taboo. It doesn't bug me that much anymore. I have been teased every year by friends and classmates in high school. It was kind of annoying; but hey, despite the age, they have been babying me a lot.

Anyways, I really don't mind being asked my age any more. People are not comfortable talking about their age simply because they are anxious about what people may think about them, what have the achieved or done with their life at their age. My confidence might have been built on the fact that I have been through a lot, and though it might not be success in the eyes of others, I think I am running the good race and doing people proud. If unpredictability describes me well, I guess I would be young in lieu of my mature side of going through so much in life for my age; on the other hand, my child-likeness allows for the element of surprise when people find out my real age and how well I have disguised my serious-self.

Embarking on my 26th year in life in another environment... I amaze myself by reminiscing past birthdays (a little scrolling action is required as direct access to the blog entry seem not to be working).

Happy Birthday, Suemae (2007)

Jinxed Out(?) (2006)

23 on 23 (2005)

Wow! I do see myself maturing, not only in thoughts but my writing too. I guess keeping a journal/blogging does help track one's growth. I notice the major improvements on grammar and writing style. (^ ^) My hopes are that they get better as time goes on, just as every aspect of my life in general. I look forward in anticipation to what the good Lord has installed for me.

Due to the difference of time and space, I have received many superb birthday wishes from family and close friends. Thank you guys for making me feel well loved. I do not expect much this year, but who knows what will happen? It might just be another day of work and dealing with homework. I will share my thoughts about this anniversary soon.

Chinatown Lunch

The International Student Office organized a trip to Chinatown today. Thinking that it would be an opportunity to mingle with the international students and participate in school activities once in a while, I decided to join them (thinking that it would be an opportunity to freeload on a trip downtown. We were treated to lunch, but the rest of the traveling cost was from our pocket).

It was a LONG day and I found out 2 things about myself. (1) I do not function well in crowds. It is not because I am intimidated, or that I am antisocial on purpose. I just have no interest to be best friends with everyone and I seriously don't care what they think about me. I do portray a mean and arrogant front, but I always participate in conversations in the company of 3 or less.

(2) My expectations for organization is very high, made worse with my experiences and 'training' in the Japanese setting. When trips are organized, the organizers should be able to communicate important information like costs beforehand, knows how to get to the place, made reservations, and at least have a tentative agenda.

Lunch was served at the Three Happiness Restaurant. It was by far the most awful Chinese cuisine I had in America. I am thankful for the treat, but my taste palate has been significantly ruined.

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Nevertheless, I had my own kind of fun after lunch. I left the crowd of 30 and went shopping on my own on State St. It has been a LONG time since I have been 'shopping.' If memory serves me right, this is the 2nd time this whole year that I was actually shopping for my pleasure. I spent time looking through stores allowing myself to find something I like. I spent close to 4 hours doing just that and had a good harvest for a fashionable autumn and winter. I had to stop myself, or should I just went on and get a dress and skirt too? After all, this was my treat to myself. Okay, I might be giving myself a little too many treats. But look on the bright side, I might not have to go shopping for the next few months apart from a down jacket/coat and possibly that skirt from GAP. (itchy hands...... SLAP!) I found out another thing about myself, I am settled in when I am able to walk around the city, comfortably hitting places I want to go, on my own.

届きました〜

It arrived! It arrived! I was told to expect something in the mail, but it sure top it off that I received my 1st birthday gift in the mail today! Yay!
I love it. The sweet and simplicity of how things should be. It goes with the dress Megu-chan made. It definitely put me in a very domestic mode.

Things are sure getting better. I have nothing specific for the day apart from a meeting with the teacher in charge of the class I will be teacher aiding this semester at 4:30. Even though sleep was not sufficient for the night before, I was already content with my day being able to chat with a darling on the phone. I went out with Colleen for a bank run around 7 and decided to get some groceries to make our usual family dinner. Before we left, I was sorting out my paperwork and found out that I actually received a raise in my pay. My first pay check was calculated on the minimum wage (since I was new to this school and all) but from my 2nd paycheck I was given the pay of a "senior" student. Sweet. It is just a 50cent raise, but no more complaints about that.

Amidst all the joy, I was in the mood for cake. Strawberries were on sale and I wanted to have strawberry short cake after dinner. Getting all our foodstuff, Colleen and I went back and shared a scrumptious dinner of chicken-rice, stir-fried spinach, prata, lentil curry, and guacamole with chips with our roomies. Our weekly family dinner ends up being a feast while watching DVDs. We had dinner while watching Failure to Launch. Dinner was very much an inspiration from the gift. After we ate, the movie continued as I prepared dessert with the option of tea. The sequence was very much like having dinner at Okasan's. I assembled the cake, and viola!
My roommates have officially dubbed me crazy for this and I found out to what degree my obsessive compulsive perfectionist madness is. It was the layering inside the cake that impressed them. "Well, everyone deserves pretty things!" I had fun and was actually "high" from making dinner and enjoying it with great company. We had fun, slacked Friday night away with She's the Man, and ending it with Shawshank Redemption.

I love my Friday nights. お母さん、ありがとう！

Children's Literature

I have found my oasis for the crazy semester. This is the only class I honestly like and would actually put the extra effort to do well. The content of the class is fascinating in itself, but I guess it is the professor who makes the difference. No matter how tired or distracted I am with life, just sitting in this class for the past 3 weeks have calmed me down.

There are a few things about the professor that draws my attention.

1. His voice. He speaks clearly at a soothing pitch. He reads to us with enthusiasm and one can get lost in the story with his accent and life brougth to each character. We are reading Because of Winn Dixie and other picture books in class and I enjoy every minute of it. The other professor on my list to have mesmerized me by voice and diction was Inoue-sensei.

2. His passion for his work. I have always enjoyed children's books, especially the illustrated ones. Being in this class has given me the exposure to the many wonderful books out there that communicates life. Being in class is like being immersed into the sea of ideals transcended through writing. He has high expectations and demands professional standards in dealing with literature. I am inspired to give my best in the picture book read-aloud, being reading buddy to a student of the local school, and writing my own children's story (that has the opportunity to be picked, illustrated by the media arts students, and published).

3. His piercing eye-contact. There are a handful of people in my life who has the ability to pierce right through my soul when we share eye-contact while speaking with each other. It penetrates through everything, my raw self is exposed, and often I had to refrain my tears from betraying my usual facade. This professor has shared the spot with my mentor and my pastor. They have enough years and experience to look at the very nature of God's creation and love them as commanded. The cold steel of my spine melts and is readily strengthed by the influence of these great people.

"You have said nothing in class again today, Suemae. Is everything ok?" "You are participating and engaging in class. You have many great comments in your group discussion." "Please try to speak out in class. I am trying to raise the bar." I guess I did something right when I was called to answer a question during my first week of class. My choice to be an observer in my 2nd class, continued in the 3rd might be hindering my potential. Ok, time for my voice to be heard. I would go the extra mile. I would breakout of my comfort zone and hopefully say something good.

I am SO ready for the weekend

Hah! 1 class to go and I will be done for the week. Well, it is not like I have any fun plans to look forward to. It will be just the same ol' agenda fending off procrastination and the 'slack bug,' while desperately trying to complete all my homework.

I guess I am burning out, fast. I just wished that there could be more hours in a day and I could have the concentration of a hawk. Classes are setting its pace but the mini projects in every method class is driving me nuts. It is worse when these assignments are graded above the other load of coursework I have for the same class. Nevertheless, I have learn to find joy in classes and entertain myself with the little tasks asked to perform.

For example, my Language Arts Methods class can be overwhelming when there is just so much the professor wants to cover. Her speed in speech matches Melody and the load of information just comes crashing down. You would know that I am giving up and need a break when I start to doze off. Anyways, the lighter part to the class is that we get to do activities in building a learning community (something we are being modelled to that we can use in our future classrooms). I love the artwork and have fun with crafts. Yesterday we even had "listening cupcake" where our partners would give us verbal directions on how they would like us to decorate their cupcake. Prof. Stombres provided the material and I had tonnes of fun, just like a kid. Maybe that is why I would enjoy teaching the elementary classroom as I like doing stuff kids do. We can all learn and play together. Now, wouldn't that be nice?

Thought for the week: My focus for this semester would be developing skills and lesson plans for ESL and Language Arts. (I guess that would be my focused content area.) My classes this semester will support and prepare me for that. I need to find the connecting point to integrate all of my classes to work in order for me to be on top of the pile of madness. Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming...

OMG! I Can't Believe that I am Jealous!

I need to pull myself together. I have tonnes of work to do and I have been having a headache since this morning. I seriously do not need something out of my control to occupy my mind and tease my sanity right now. Oh, crap!

***********************

The American college attire. Shorts, tank tops, flip-flops and a hoodie.
I would only wear this on days I care less about everything else. It knocks off years and I get to be a teenager again.

***************************

(9pm)
Arrgh! I have been waiting for this all summer. I know it starts today. I made sure that I was in close proximity of the TV. I waited for the time. House Season 5 starts today. I was ready to watch my favorite series at 8pm. To my horror! It was 8/7c .... meaning it started at 7pm central time!!! I only managed to catch the last 10 minutes of the show. Boo! Great! That made me feel SO MUCH better (over dose on the sarcasm).

Anyways, I did start cooking. I made maggi goreng and the nyonya dessert of tapioca, coconut milk and syrup. I do feel a little better now. What was I thinking doubting myself? It is ok. Life is not fair, but all I can do is make the best of what I can do. I just have to be myself... After all, it is supposed to be patient, kind, does not envy, and is build on faith and trust.

An All Nighter

Desperation had driven me to ask Colleen to take us out for coffee. I need to finish up my homework before classes today. The strong brew entered my system at midnight and I have not slept a wink since. I had 2 assignments for Children's Lit and another 4 for ESL Methods. Since we didn't really have to evacuate after all, the flood excuse would not suffice.

My brain must be deteriorating. I am taking far longer to finish up papers than when I used to. Either that my mind is not as fit as it was, or I am putting more effort into my work. It took me close to 6 hours to write a 2-page journal article response, in hopes that both content and writing mechanics are of superior standard. Good thing I just have to proof read the other paper for the same class, I was done with my homework for Children's Lit by daybreak.

My body was thrashed. It is telling me to sleep. I tried, but I can't. I ended up doing some reading but just could not concentrate. I had my encounter with Preeti Ratatouille. It was running around in front of the TV, climb on the the side of the love seat where B usually is, and did a back flip. Hmm, very entertaining at 6 in the morning. It was around 7 when I started preparing myself for the day. I was planning to get breakfast since I had to get to somewhere to wash up as the water was not back. By 7:15 creaks were heard. I turned the faucet and there was water! I ended up cleaning the apartment and went to work around 8.

It has been months since I pulled an all-nighter. (Ok, I cheated a little dozing off at work.) But I was like a wired robot all afternoon before taking dips in ESL class in the evening. (I didn't finish my homework after all and asked for grace for them to be submitted by Wednesday.) I got back to the room past 9:30, took a long shower and worked on some "emergency" emails. Sunil sure knows how to catch my attention. Anyways, I'd better hit the sheets before I come down with a cold.

Good night and sweet dreams! (_ _)zzzz.....

Sloppy Sunday

"In this 2 days, Suemae, I have seen more of your bu** than I would ever see in a year."

Don't you love how little disasters bring us all closer together? By now we could even monitor each other's pee counts. We all woke up around noon today. The water has resided A LOT but the water is still not turned on. We traveled to the fitness center again for shower bonding time. Since we were in the car, we conveniently went to grab lunch at Little Caesar's and watched Atonement as we ate. After the long movie it was time for potty break again. This time we went over to Lindner Tower. Yup, we are trying to use the bathrooms of all other campus buildings. This is getting a little out of hand, we are actually driving to use a working bathroom. Oh, how we take water for granted.

Anyways, I need to apologize to Miyoko and Masako. All the discipline acquired in dressing up before I leave the threshold of my room were flushed away when the storm came. I have been in my pajamas all day. I wore my Nike sweat pants with my DC T under my pink Uniqlo hoodie and have been strutting around in my flip flops to the Fitness Center, Little Caesar's, Lindner Tower, and even to the downtown Elgin grocery store. How much more sloppy can I get? Who cares? It is America.

So, Colleen is baking cookies right now and I should seriously work on my homework. I need to head to the library later to discipline myself. 5 assignments due within the next 24 hours. Go, bunny, go! I hope the water will be turned on this evening. My brain needs to refocus from the movies picked this weekend.

Could This Day BE Anymore Eventful?

"Hey Suemae, there is no water." What? I got up around my usual Saturday sleep in and was not too happy when I couldn't take my usual pampering shower. I heard the hum of the water pump outside and Colleen explained to me that the water supply was turned off due to the flood. Our option was to use the showers at the Fitness Center.

Annoyed, Nem, Colleen, and I did a little computer work before we started packing to hit the showers. When we step out of the threshold, HOLY COW! It has flooded indeed!!! Tyler Creek that runs through campus has turned into a white water river threshing through before our eyes. The pond was overflowing and water came right up till the flight of Volkman stairs. Although Plant Operations came to lay sand bags around the building, the basement was flooded. I was told that the flooding in the basement/sub-level was worse last year, but the actual swelling of the river and pond was far worse this time. We were declared to be in national state of emergency (due to extreme weather conditions).

B didn't want to get up so the 3 of us made it to the car after wading through the wet basement. We piled into the car when Colleen's door would not close. We tried and tried but it just seemed like the frame did not fit the door anymore. Wet in the rain, the annoyance just increased. We took the long way around campus to get to the Fitness Center as the bridge and roads connecting our journey immediately were not in use due the rushing waters. Well, the good part about our shower excursion was that I get to relive the ofuro scene again but with my current roomies. Naked fellowship brings us closer to the next lever.

We needed to get some food and water since we can't do anything in the room. But soon we were told that if the rain does not stop and if the water keeps rising, we have to be prepared for evacuation. In fact, we were encouraged to evacuate. This did not make any of the 307 residents happy at all. We packed up Colleen's car and people were starting to get catty. Well, experience something new that helps understand my roomies better again.

We went to the library, I got my card and we borrowed some DVDs. We then went to CiCi's as I was feeling like spinach pizza. We stuffed ourselves with the all-you-can-eat and picked up some water at Woodman's. The rain stopped and we came back to chill in our room. We soon learned that 2 more rain systems will come down within the next 24 hours and the water might rise again. The evacuation might be decided for sure now. Yet, we just decided to chill in our room... simply because we rather be here together than anywhere else. We popped in a movie and right about in the middle of the movie, the alarm went off.

"Oh great, tornado alarm!" We immediately went downstairs to the 3-inch flooded basement and was soon shuffled out of the building into the parking lot. It seemed that it was the fire alarm that went off and we were asked to move to the side of the building to let the fire trucks and other emergency vehicles come through. Nem, Colleen and I packed into the car again and just sat there doodling sadistic nonsense on the foggy windows. Could this day get anymore eventful?

When it was declared safe to be back in the building again, we continued our movie. We were thirsty and since we used most of our cups and glasses last night, we end up drinking shots of water with the teeny-tiny glasses I had for keeping used tea-bags. B returned and we popped in Sweeny Todd to watch. The borrowed DVDs started giving us problems so we moved from watching it on the TV to B's MacBook Pro. When we were done with the movie, all of us desperately needed a potty break.

We took a 5 minute walk to Upper Commons. We made the toilet excursion fun and stopped to stare at the threshing creek that turned into a raging river. Colleen thought we were raptured when she returned from studying at Jamesons'. She wondered where we went as she thought 11 would be time for dinner. A deer almost ran into our car on campus. We ended up with take-out from McD's. Great! Why am I spending so much just because we do not have water?

Although the water has receded much since this afternoon but things are still crazy over here. The water will still be out until the basement is no longer flooding. That means no plumbing till after the sun comes out, which is roughly mid-Monday perhaps. We watched another movie when we got back as it is impossible to get any studying done now. No worries I am safe, not very sound since I have tonnes of homework due on Monday. I wonder whether there is any madness left for tomorrow?

Snazzy Dinner

Fridays have been special for me. I have been looking forward to the weekend as long as I can remember. From the fun days of choir and Friday Evening English Time to simply ending the blood-sucking work week, from weekends of just hanging out at Yoyogi park to locking myself in away from an environment I dislike... Now, Friday wraps up my crazy week and I get to hang out with my roomies.

We had dinner downtown today. Nem and B had to get their biometrics done at the embassies and was downtown since morning. Colleen, Preeti and I were to meet them for dinner after we are done with our agendas on campus. Although it has just been gloomy and muggy all day, we were glad that we are making the trip together.

It is without a doubt that if you spend enough time with each other and experience events together, you will soon learn a lot about your companions. Ever since I arrived I've heard that we have a Chicago expert among us. However, we got lost last night taking a major detour of 1 hour's walk to the dodgy part of the city, walked around a chocolate factory, but finally reached our destination in the rain. Well, I knew we were going in the wrong direction, but since my guides were so sure, I just took it as a work out to work up an appetite. My jeans and shoes were wet, but if I can walk into a restaurant looking decent and presentable, I am not too bothered by it at all. Nem and B got a little annoyed waiting for us as they were trying to get us a table. Colleen and Preeti were just annoyed that Nem kept calling and that we were lost. You could imagine the whole scenario.

Anyways, we did arrive safe and the mood at the table lightened up after we got warm and were fed. We were at Big Bowl, laughed the night away, and the trip back was not bad at all.

The 5th Room Mate

B informed me this morning that we have a 5th room mate. I thought she was continuing with the joke started yesterday when the TV was left on when I returned to the room mid day. B was in but it wasn't her who turned it on.

Anyways, B said that she saw a little mouse coming from the back of the TV and sat right in the middle of the living room. Eek! Mouse! It was very small, she claimes. This morning we had a visit from Plant Operations and they help us set up 4 mouse traps. I was so looking forward to the typical mouse traps we see on cartoons, but we got the glue traps instead. Yuck!

B and I were wondering how did it got in. We definitely did not invite them as in my opinion, we are really neat and clean people. We live on the 3rd floor... Well, we definitely would not be the only room to be affected by it. Let's just see how the trap works through this weekend. Mouse I can bear, but when it comes to moles and rats... EWWW!!!!

Battle Royale

The student organization on campus hosted an all-campus "Capture the Flag" event. It began at 10pm and would last till 11:55pm. It was a serious affair and over 300 signed up to play. I thought it would be fun as we had acres of land, but then again, people over here tend to take things a little WAY too serious.

Battle Royale. What a name! It reminded me of the Korean Action Thriller of high school students end up killing each other for the sake of survival. I got to see some action right in front of me too. Participants are all dressed in the same T-shirts. The only thing to distinguish the two teams were the words printed on the same colored Ts. One was gold and the other blue. It was really confusing as one wouldn't know unless they walk right up to the other person. There were shouts, screams, "Hand me your beans!" and people tearing across the campus either in pairs or in groups. Even a non-participant like me could feel the tension and excitement.

Nemma, Colleen and I went out to grab some snacks at Dunkin Donuts. It was past 11:30 and no teams had any flags yet. I wonder how long would the game go and what the outcome would be. Anyways, I should be studying for my test tomorrow. Middle School Methods. I am so ready to burn my book.

Welcoming Another Batch

I was informed that the ACTS-es students will have their annual Welcome Party today. They will be celebrating the presence of the 8th batch of ACTS-es Freshmen and exchange students of Fall'08. Ah, good times. I have been thinking a lot about my juniors and have contemplated even more since my last trip to Japan. Can't help being myself, I have written a little something to share. Baileyna thought it was a good idea. I hope I did some help than harm.

I saw some pictures on the "Eyes of Alma Mater." If you have the opportunity, check them out too. How I wish I could take the day off and be there.

***** ^_^ *****

My dearest ACTS-es students,

Welcome to a new year at TCU. My warmest welcome to the ACTS-es Freshmen class and exchange students. I have seen your faces on Yanagisawa-sensei's web album and look forward to hear great things about you. My love goes out to the rest of the returning students. I missed you dearly. I hope you have had a great summer and all geared up for another challenging year at TCU.

Allow me to first congratulate all of you for being here. Each student in the program comes from an unique background and hand-picked in the belief that each of you would be equipped to do great things with the knowledge and experience gained during your time here. You might come with expectations, goals, and dreams. Through time, these will be refined or changed to better suit the new and improved you. I assure you that your time at TCU would be filled with excitement, joy, and challenges. There will be struggles and a whole lot of frustration too. Nevertheless, I pray that you would find lasting friendship, a shoulder to cry on, comrades to cheer for you, and a family away from home united by the grace who brought us all here.

You have seen the campus and have a taste of dorm life. I believe you have met the wonderful people who are closely associated with the ACTS-es program and I know you will meet more of the TCU community who would play an active role in your life here. I pray that you would spend time to get to know each and everyone in this room on a personal level for they will share with you essential tips to make your life in TCU and Japan a journey of a lifetime. Keeping it short, I will leave you with 5 suggestions for now. Consider them seriously.

1. Grow VERY close to your ACTS-es classmates. They are your immediate family for your time here. You will be each other's support as you mature.

2. Build a close relationship with the seniors of the program. They have experienced and know what you are going through and should know valuable survival tips to make things easier as you learn to stand on Japanese ground.

3. Be respectful to your professors. Put effort into your work and submit them on time. TCU faculty members are very nice people. Do not take for granted their kindness and generosity.

4. Be a part of TCU. Know your Japanese classmates. Join the choir. Participate in every TCU event. Pay your student council fees, attend every meeting, and join committees. You are a part of the TCU student body. You can make a difference in this school. Be responsible to make your college life as meaningful as possible. Your seniors have worked very hard to integrate the ACTS-es students into the student body to be able to enjoy every benefit. Don't mess it up.

5. Do your cleaning duties. Try to maintain the good reputation of the ACTS-es students that we are mature, intelligent, fun, and interesting. It forms discipline and builds character. Trust me.

As those who know me knows I have plenty more to say only because I share a strong love and deep passion for this school and program. An ACTS-es student is not just the average international student, you are a super international student. You will be busy dealing with cultural differences, your commitment to church, finding part-time jobs, etc. but I ask you to remember your choice in coming here and focus your commitment on your role as a student above anything else. Do everything as unto the LORD.

Feel free to contact me. I would love to hear from you. I will pop by whenever possible. I will be contactable to answer any questions.

In Christ,
The crazy, loud and annoying Malaysian.