THE NEW SURVIVOR SHOW
Have you heard about the next planned Survivor show? Three businessmen and three businesswomen will be dropped into an elementary school classroom for 6 weeks. Each businessperson will be provided with a copy of their school district's curriculum, and a class of 25-30 students.
Each class will have five learning-disabled children, three with ADD, one gifted child, and two who speak limited English. Three will be labeled as severe behavior problems. Each businessperson must complete lesson plans at least 3 days in advance with annotations, and modify, organize, or create materials accordingly.
They will be required to teach students, handle misconduct, implement technology, document attendance, write referrals, correct homework and tests, make bulletin boards, compute grades, complete report cards, document benchmarks, communicate with parents regularly, and arrange parent conferences. They must also supervise recess and monitor the hallways. In addition, they will complete drills for fire, tornadoes, or shooting attacks. They must attend workshops, faculty meetings, union meetings, and curriculum development meetings, just to name a few. They must also work extra hard with those students who are behind and/or learning disabled, and strive to get them and the two non-English speaking children proficient enough to take the national achievement tests. If they are sick or having a bad day, they must not let it show. Each day, they must incorporate reading, writing, math, science, and social studies into the program. They must maintain discipline and provide an educationally stimulating environment at all times.
The business people will only have access to the golf course on the weekends, but on their new salary, they will not be able to afford it anyway. There will be no access to vendors who want to take them out to lunch, and lunch will be limited to 30 minutes. On days when they have recess duty, the business people will be permitted to use the staff restroom as long as another survival candidate is supervising their class. They will be provided with two 40-minute planning periods per week while their students are at specials. If the copier is operable, they may make copies of necessary materials at this time, provided they have not used up their allotted number of copies.
The business people must continually advance their education on their own time and pay for this advanced training themselves. Moonlighting at a second job or marrying someone with money can accomplish this. The winner will be allowed to return to his or her job.
The business people must continually advance their education on their own time and pay for this advanced training themselves. Moonlighting at a second job or marrying someone with money can accomplish this. The winner will be allowed to return to his or her job.
Who still thinks teaching is easy?
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