In His Time

Within the first 10 days of the new year, I have receive wonderful news from the people around me. Babies are being brought into the world, my best friend is pregnant, buddies becoming a daddy, friends travelling to dream destination, etc. The joyous occasion continues with upcoming graduations and Colleen's wedding. Man! I should have bought a party dress or two in Glasgow. My many congratulations and best wishes to all.

I am happy for everyone, sincerely, but I can not deny the envy I have. I am a weak human who is extremely sensitive to my surroundings. As much as I am trying not to let peer pressure and the social environment affect me, I often fall into the temptation of comparing my life with others, especially in difficult times that currently casts its shadows in the west. Time, space, and age grip me at the ankle and I find myself struggling to soar in the area of my dreams. Yes, I am on the journey, a life-choice of my dreams, but no one ever said that it will be easy. I can't help but wonder whether my choice was the right one, whether I will have the happy occasions in life that my peers are celebrating now.

I am aware it was my choice and I should compare and whine less. What slapped me back to reality was the sermon at church yesterday and the book mom gave me. Giving my best in dealing with the challenges before me goes beyond mentioning, but the psychological and spiritual strengths should not be neglected. The logical and realistic approach is to analyze and emphasize what is important in every challenge. Strategy and systematic methods are used to tackle the problem, but instead of focusing how big the boulder is, I should be looking backwards remembering how BIG God is in His faithfulness throughout history.

There is no doubt that this year will be one that is more challenging that the rest that I have seen being affected by the political and economical currents. Yes, there is a storm ahead but I look towards the lighthouse, find my strength in the anchor of faith, that in His time all things will be made beautiful...

Time-Space Capsule

Sci-fi has often wowed us with innovative ideas. Even though what appears in writing or on the TV screen sometimes do make us snicker in disbelief, but we cannot deny that such ideas are indeed real in our modern age. Square boxes that opens in one's palm are spoken to and the message is transmitted to another far away is the cell phones that we vitally use everyday... So, who says science fiction is just made up nonsense? It is the human experience that brings all these ideas to life!

The use of the time-space capsule is very real in my life. I find myself transported to a different time and place everytime I enter and leave this machine. Of recent years, my time and space travel has brought me to really fun and interesting places. I enter this containment unit, be occupied with some light entertainment or dormant in my sleep, when I step out into open air, it is a different environment altogether. Living a rather hectic life, riding on an airplane is when I truly feel that I am on the switchboard of my-so-called reality.

Life seems to go on to the very moment that I board that plane. Everything seems so normal for me that by now, I hardly feel the excitement of my trip/travel until I am riding in an aircraft. It is then my brain winds down and reboots itself.

I woke up to the sound of snow shovelling trucks outside instead of the daily news broadcasted over the radio. My beddings feel weird, the duvet is not heavy enough. The bed lumpy and the ceiling looks so very close. Suzanne is not next to me. Looking out the window, it is snowing.

I arrived back in Chicago yesterday after a rather pleasant journey. (Well, my transit at Heathrow was a little hectic and two hours seemed hardly enough to get through the tight security while getting to different terminals. I didn't even get the chance to shop for the stuff I wanted at duty free.) Leaving Suzanne's apartment at 5:30am, my flight out of Glasgow took off at 7:15, and I arrived at O'Hare, clearing immigration at 12:45pm Chicago time. I hardly felt the 11 hours of travel. Colleen picked me up at the airport, we grabbed lunch on our way back, I unpacked a little and decided to go to bed early, well... it was my normal time for bed in UK.

This morning I got up around 6am (about noon) and I am now taking the morning easy easing myself into my "now" environment before the semester starts officially next week. I will head off work soon and try to get some stuff done today... I miss my time in Glasgow. However, I am refreshed and motivated to tackle almost everything that is coming my way.

Goodbye, My Love

After a wondrous relationship of almost 14 months, I bid you now, farewell.

Boots, my fabulous riding boots that I got from Harajuku. It took me a while to make you mine. I used to think that it was a steep purchase, but even Sunil said you look cool. You have accompanied me on dates and across the continents. You have been my favorite footwear and are my first pair of boots that I have worn out. Although rugged and torn, I was not willing to part with you... not until I have found another gorgeous pair of riding boots that could match in style and comfort... not to mention a pair that I could afford. Sad to say, I cannot bring you back with me. Don't be sad, you will not be alone in your final journey. Suzanne has a pair of boots that have served her well too.

With a tear in the eye, goodbye...

Have a Wondrous Year Ahead, Mom and Sis

Suzanne and I saw Mom and Su-Anne off at the airport today. After spending a month in the UK, mom and sis are back in the tropics and back to their normal life. It stuck me just before the duo headed to the security gates at the departure hall that we have no idea when will we gather together again. (Seriously, this is the first time I am not certain at all when will can I afford my next plane ticket.) Su-Anne suddenly turn all weepy during our airport-hugging-ritual and that got everyone all teary. Just then, it got me thinking...


Summary of our time spent together this holidays, our first Christmas together since the break of the millennium.

• I guess this could be considered a family vacation. Even though we arrived and leave at different times, we still spent 12 days together.
• Activities done as a family: Watched "The Drive of Life" together, camping out in front of the TV in the living room, took turns cooking and ate together, shopped in Glasgow, watched a ballet and a musical...
• We are still very much the same, maybe certain characteristics are amplified. I hope to change for the better this year, and steer my perceptions of the family towards, only, the good.
  
• Mom and I still need to work on communications. We just don't know how to talk to/with one another.
• The 4-way shared conversations were on the low. Suzanne was in KL for a while and the trio had loads of common things to talk about. I felt rather left out, but I have only myself to blame for not being around or keeping myself updated.
• I lost my cool once, surprisingly with Su-Anne. I am on vacation and thought that with family, I could do very well as I pleased. Apparently, I forgot that I had to always be careful and this time, incessant nags and disapproving tone of voice got to me. In her defense, it is an environmental factor, and yet my low-esteemed self was challenged. Ego and pride set off my temper.
  
• I am very thankful for the generosity of Mom, Suzanne and Su-Anne for making this holiday a good one. After having a good talk with Rajiv before meeting them, I have readjusted the viewing lenses I have for my family. They are great in their special ways, and in difficult times, I appreciate them more than ever.
• Note to self: Need to fugure out decent conversational topics to update my life with the family. The common justification I give myself is that I live in a very different world that I don't feel comfortable sharing about it even with family as it seems that every event is too self-centered whether it is a joy or a pain. Need to work on how to make life events not sound like a brag and yet enough that people would genuinely be interested enough to be concerned about it.
  

So, 12 days of season-induced-lackadaisical-gastronomical-adventure pictures proved that all of us are "well-rounded" and have enough stored up energy to tackle family business with the unique love we have for one another.

This is Too Much...

Second day into the new year
I woke up around 2pm
Partying was not what I have been doing
But the family has been camping in front of the Tele
Since the 30th we stretched long nights into the morning
Mom and my sisters chased after the DVDs Su-Anne brought
"The Drive of Life" a HongKong TV Drama
60 40-minute episodes of Cantonese theatrics on life
Though it is not my cup of tea
I joined in so that at least there would be an addition to what we did as a family this Christmas.
48-hours in my Pj-s
Beddings and pillows are now a feature of Suzanne's living room
Hopefully this madness would end tonight
As we finish the final 10 episodes

MADNESS