Cheers to you, Rajiv! May you be blessed with happiness!
Friday, February 29, 2008
A Tribute to a Brother
March marks a month of reunion and celebration. I will be leaving for UK within the week to reunite with family. Apart from spending time with the big sister, I will be there to witness the begining of a new journey in the life of my beloved big brother, Rajiv. In lieu of his wedding this March 15, allow me to pay tribute to one of the best guy I have known in sharing the memories I have of him. Enjoy the slideshow on the side panel. Do feel free to to click on it or visit the album for captions and leaving comments.
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Never Say Never
Each of us have preferences and wants in life. Interpreted in a different light, it reflects the degree and extent of arrogance and pride within us. It is through such choices that defines who we are; nevertheless, you will have to agree with me that certain preference and choices we make are not the most logical nor the best.
Taking the most common example of finding the other half: many of us would probably have a list of likes and dislikes. There is nothing wrong to be picky about it, after all, we hope to find someone who we will share the rest of our lives with. However, do seriously consider whether the criteria listed mirror sense or sensibility. Be it one's life companion or the food that one eats, thinking what is more important would also help define how much one is willing to compromise and one's ability to be reasonable.
I am no stranger to the above. There are so many things that I say that I would never do, but somehow I did give in. As a matter of fact, certain of such choices has a better outcome, and some did prove that it was my initial choice could be irrational and arrogant. Just to show that I am human and far from perfect, allow me to share with you incidents for a good laugh.
Pink is not my color. Growing up as a tom-boy, the color pink sends shivers down my spine. Choosing an item of that color is unthinkable. If I do have to wear something in pink, images of marshmallows start dancing in my head. However, for one of my birthday gifts, my close friends got together and gave me a two piece pink outfit. I thought I would never wear it, but out of a tease, I did wear it to a party once and many complimented that I look lovely in pink. Reevaluating myself in the mirror a few times, I have to agree with them. Now, although pink is still not my first choice, but I know I look good in it and would pick the color as it compliments me.
I would never tell a guy that I like him and it would take a long time into the relationship before I would actually tell him so. This is just me and sheer arrogance. I believe that it would be too "easy" for him and reflects how desperate I am. Most guys know once they have captured your heart or attention, they would start slacking. They have "caught" you, the thrill is gone, thus why bother to put in any more effort? If I do like him, I would be nice enough to drop him enough hints, but come on! I have a big ego and would never make the first move. But hey, circumstances do get the better of us at times, and I have relented on this before.
Also, I would never have a relationship with a guy who is considered good looking in the common eye. All men are heartless, and those who know that he is good looking are the worst. Maybe my precaution to getting myself disappointed and hurt is a wee bit higher than the average, but I have seen it happen enough times to be careful. Nevertheless, I give myself a slap on the wrist for this one too.
Finally, I hate cleaning. (Laughs! Yeah, right!) I dislike household chores and cleaning when I was growing up. I dread it when told that I have to clean stuff up. I would make the scene look neat, but would avoid actually picking up utensils to start cleaning rooms and clearing my stuff. However, I did sign up for a part-time job in cleaning once, and the moment I started, I was very particular in getting everything spotless. I am lazy, but when I do take time to clean, I would really get it done, Monica style!
So, yeah... Even though I do not fully agree with friends who are superstitious to say that if one voices out their dislike or preferences strongly, it would turn out otherwise, I would agree to the extent that circumstances do change a person. Seriously, never say never, for you really do not know what lies ahead.
Taking the most common example of finding the other half: many of us would probably have a list of likes and dislikes. There is nothing wrong to be picky about it, after all, we hope to find someone who we will share the rest of our lives with. However, do seriously consider whether the criteria listed mirror sense or sensibility. Be it one's life companion or the food that one eats, thinking what is more important would also help define how much one is willing to compromise and one's ability to be reasonable.
I am no stranger to the above. There are so many things that I say that I would never do, but somehow I did give in. As a matter of fact, certain of such choices has a better outcome, and some did prove that it was my initial choice could be irrational and arrogant. Just to show that I am human and far from perfect, allow me to share with you incidents for a good laugh.
Pink is not my color. Growing up as a tom-boy, the color pink sends shivers down my spine. Choosing an item of that color is unthinkable. If I do have to wear something in pink, images of marshmallows start dancing in my head. However, for one of my birthday gifts, my close friends got together and gave me a two piece pink outfit. I thought I would never wear it, but out of a tease, I did wear it to a party once and many complimented that I look lovely in pink. Reevaluating myself in the mirror a few times, I have to agree with them. Now, although pink is still not my first choice, but I know I look good in it and would pick the color as it compliments me.
I would never tell a guy that I like him and it would take a long time into the relationship before I would actually tell him so. This is just me and sheer arrogance. I believe that it would be too "easy" for him and reflects how desperate I am. Most guys know once they have captured your heart or attention, they would start slacking. They have "caught" you, the thrill is gone, thus why bother to put in any more effort? If I do like him, I would be nice enough to drop him enough hints, but come on! I have a big ego and would never make the first move. But hey, circumstances do get the better of us at times, and I have relented on this before.
Also, I would never have a relationship with a guy who is considered good looking in the common eye. All men are heartless, and those who know that he is good looking are the worst. Maybe my precaution to getting myself disappointed and hurt is a wee bit higher than the average, but I have seen it happen enough times to be careful. Nevertheless, I give myself a slap on the wrist for this one too.
Finally, I hate cleaning. (Laughs! Yeah, right!) I dislike household chores and cleaning when I was growing up. I dread it when told that I have to clean stuff up. I would make the scene look neat, but would avoid actually picking up utensils to start cleaning rooms and clearing my stuff. However, I did sign up for a part-time job in cleaning once, and the moment I started, I was very particular in getting everything spotless. I am lazy, but when I do take time to clean, I would really get it done, Monica style!
So, yeah... Even though I do not fully agree with friends who are superstitious to say that if one voices out their dislike or preferences strongly, it would turn out otherwise, I would agree to the extent that circumstances do change a person. Seriously, never say never, for you really do not know what lies ahead.
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Boredom Buster
My mind has not been in its best shape of late. I see myself wandering off and the bored feeling has drilled itself into the marrows of my spirit a number of times over the last week. Being not in the mood to work then, what do I do during my long hours in front of the computer?
Apart teasing my addiction of playing online games and catching up with my anime series, I do fiddle around surfing the net when I am not in the mood for blogging. Below are the list of things the bunny enjoys.
1. Google maps. "Brushing up on my geography" would be my excuse, but have you actually played around with this site and its features before? Apart from researches on places, I am amazed by the satellite images provided. I can see all the places I have been to and will be heading to. Zooming in as close as possible allows me to see as much as the airspace allowance given to these satellites. You can tease all you want, but I do enjoy the occasional fun of playing "Where's (location)?"
2. Reading. There is so much information at the touch of one's fingertips! You can Google-up almost anything under the sun. Wikipedia is another favorite site of mine. Just today, as I was eating breakfast, I was compelled to do a search on "century eggs." I enjoy a good bowl of congee/rice porridge (if is it not prepared by mom. She comes up with the weirdest ingredients and condiments that are not necessarily complementary to each other.) especially Century egg and Lean Pork congee (皮蛋瘦肉粥) that is very popular around this region. The urge of looking it up this morning was just to satisfy my curiosity whether century eggs are produced by dipping them the by-product of horses. Find out yourself! Hehehee...
3. Listening to readings, news and speeches. I remember my parents bought my sisters and I some books or magazines that came with cassettes when we were kids. I enjoyed listening to the stories as I read along silently tracing my finger on the text. During my English teaching days, I do encourage my students to such audio method to improve on their pronunciation, enunciation, speed, and intonation. I still practice this too. Years ago, a professor commented that she liked the way I read. Encouraged by that, I give credit to the free materials available that helped me a lot in improving my language skills.
The above are pretty much what I do use the Internet for. Occasionally, I do window shop around for good bargains, but it has been a while since I actually bought something. So, yeah, there is quite a lot to do staying online all day; nevertheless, I would choose the option of actually going somewhere doing something if possible.
Apart teasing my addiction of playing online games and catching up with my anime series, I do fiddle around surfing the net when I am not in the mood for blogging. Below are the list of things the bunny enjoys.
1. Google maps. "Brushing up on my geography" would be my excuse, but have you actually played around with this site and its features before? Apart from researches on places, I am amazed by the satellite images provided. I can see all the places I have been to and will be heading to. Zooming in as close as possible allows me to see as much as the airspace allowance given to these satellites. You can tease all you want, but I do enjoy the occasional fun of playing "Where's (location)?"
2. Reading. There is so much information at the touch of one's fingertips! You can Google-up almost anything under the sun. Wikipedia is another favorite site of mine. Just today, as I was eating breakfast, I was compelled to do a search on "century eggs." I enjoy a good bowl of congee/rice porridge (if is it not prepared by mom. She comes up with the weirdest ingredients and condiments that are not necessarily complementary to each other.) especially Century egg and Lean Pork congee (皮蛋瘦肉粥) that is very popular around this region. The urge of looking it up this morning was just to satisfy my curiosity whether century eggs are produced by dipping them the by-product of horses. Find out yourself! Hehehee...
3. Listening to readings, news and speeches. I remember my parents bought my sisters and I some books or magazines that came with cassettes when we were kids. I enjoyed listening to the stories as I read along silently tracing my finger on the text. During my English teaching days, I do encourage my students to such audio method to improve on their pronunciation, enunciation, speed, and intonation. I still practice this too. Years ago, a professor commented that she liked the way I read. Encouraged by that, I give credit to the free materials available that helped me a lot in improving my language skills.
The above are pretty much what I do use the Internet for. Occasionally, I do window shop around for good bargains, but it has been a while since I actually bought something. So, yeah, there is quite a lot to do staying online all day; nevertheless, I would choose the option of actually going somewhere doing something if possible.
Monday, February 25, 2008
What Lacks in Making the Real World Perfect is Background Music
Whether you are a drama queen or a romantic, there is no doubt that you would agree with this. I bet you there are moments when you just wished that music was resounding as you are doing something, just to make that moment more captivating and memorable. Being a huge theme park fan, I appreciate the music being played in the background makes reality of the moment fun. Just think about it, imagine how wonderful it would be taking a walk with your date down a promenade with a scenery and MUSIC!
I listen to music for relaxation and to quiet down the voices in my head during chill-out evenings and before bed. I am not a big fan of portable music as I would like to give my attention to my surroundings, especially when I am around familiar faces. However, I have started carrying music around with me since I started having long commutes on the silent trains in Japan. When I am not reading, it is often nice to have something to listen to nourish the soul. Over here, I generally have music with me all the time to shut out undesirable noises and use it in an attempt to modify reality.
The people culture over here still bums me out, and confronting this is a challenge, especially on my daily bus rides. I know this sounds absolutely arrogant, but I do prefer if people need to speak, they should speak with a suitable pitch, tone, and tongue, otherwise, silence is preferred. I am psychologically put off to the use of Cantonese. Due to my past experiences, somehow, I find the language rather loud and rude. Nevertheless, my ears are exposed to worse in the other Chinese dialects that are widely used by the bus commuters.
I am not being very approachable here in Macao. I just refuse to speak with others (except the few in my daily circle). It is a common sight to see this bunny with her plug-in earphones playing her favorite tunes drowning out everything around here, and having her sunnies on. Hear no "evil," speak no "evil," and see no "evil." I just happily psyche myself to take on my life here grooving to my own BGM.
I listen to music for relaxation and to quiet down the voices in my head during chill-out evenings and before bed. I am not a big fan of portable music as I would like to give my attention to my surroundings, especially when I am around familiar faces. However, I have started carrying music around with me since I started having long commutes on the silent trains in Japan. When I am not reading, it is often nice to have something to listen to nourish the soul. Over here, I generally have music with me all the time to shut out undesirable noises and use it in an attempt to modify reality.
The people culture over here still bums me out, and confronting this is a challenge, especially on my daily bus rides. I know this sounds absolutely arrogant, but I do prefer if people need to speak, they should speak with a suitable pitch, tone, and tongue, otherwise, silence is preferred. I am psychologically put off to the use of Cantonese. Due to my past experiences, somehow, I find the language rather loud and rude. Nevertheless, my ears are exposed to worse in the other Chinese dialects that are widely used by the bus commuters.
I am not being very approachable here in Macao. I just refuse to speak with others (except the few in my daily circle). It is a common sight to see this bunny with her plug-in earphones playing her favorite tunes drowning out everything around here, and having her sunnies on. Hear no "evil," speak no "evil," and see no "evil." I just happily psyche myself to take on my life here grooving to my own BGM.
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Do You Know Me? Do You Really Know Me?
A few weeks back, I fashioned the following quiz out of boredom. I decided to post it here and invite you to have little fun with it, in hopes that I would get some response from my blog readers. Since my mailbox has not been receiving any good mails of late, I am doing this just to make myself feel better. Leave your score (?/10) and your comments, ok? Have fun!
1. Let's start with an easy one. What is my name?
a- SueMae Foo
b- Suemae Foo
c- Su May Foo
d- Sue Mae Foo
2. I wear two rings on my right hand all the time. Who were they from?
a- Boyfriend and sister
b- Myself
c- Dad and boyfriend
d- Mom and sister
3. What would make a perfect gift for me?
a- Spend quality time with me over a meal
b- My favorite books that reflect true love and humanity
c- Buy me the latest must-haves
d- Jewellery: Diamond and platinum, of course!
4. What is my favorite quote?
a- "Love me, love my fat."
b- "I am crazy, but not stupid!"
c- "Murphy's Law: If anything could go wrong, it would."
d- "Come on, be a man!"
5. If I am rich, and you could not find me, I would most probably be...
a- on a cruise around the world.
b- sitting at the local stock exchange, watching my money roll.
c- experiencing life in Italy.
d- back in my alma mater and second home, Japan.
6. I am given a wish. What would be my strongest desire now?
a- Have a deep understanding and strong bond with my family.
b- Happily married to a man who loves me and have beautiful children.
c- Actively involved in an academic setting, teaching at a college.
d- Be financially secure and independant, living in the heart of a metropolis.
7. Which one of the following would I put as a top priority in my man?
a- Has a brilliant mind and prestige.
b- Allows me to do whatever I want and loves me just the way I am.
c- Is devilishly handsome and charming.
d- Financially secured and able to give/provide me with whatever I want
8. I am not a morning person. What would be attractive for breakfast?
a- A continental breakfast buffet at a hotel.
b- Chinese "Yum Char" or "Dim Sum"
c- Waffles served with fresh fruits, orange juice, and milk.
d- Turkey ham melt sandwich with a hazelnut latte to go.
9. I would like to have more...
a- Patience
b- Good looks
c- Money
d- Intelligence
10. How do you think I would best describe myself?
a- Hot and sexy.
b- "I am just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love me."
c- Pessimistic introvert who suffers from agoraphobia.
d- Stubborn and will not compromise on my principles/what I want in life.
1. Let's start with an easy one. What is my name?
a- SueMae Foo
b- Suemae Foo
c- Su May Foo
d- Sue Mae Foo
2. I wear two rings on my right hand all the time. Who were they from?
a- Boyfriend and sister
b- Myself
c- Dad and boyfriend
d- Mom and sister
3. What would make a perfect gift for me?
a- Spend quality time with me over a meal
b- My favorite books that reflect true love and humanity
c- Buy me the latest must-haves
d- Jewellery: Diamond and platinum, of course!
4. What is my favorite quote?
a- "Love me, love my fat."
b- "I am crazy, but not stupid!"
c- "Murphy's Law: If anything could go wrong, it would."
d- "Come on, be a man!"
5. If I am rich, and you could not find me, I would most probably be...
a- on a cruise around the world.
b- sitting at the local stock exchange, watching my money roll.
c- experiencing life in Italy.
d- back in my alma mater and second home, Japan.
6. I am given a wish. What would be my strongest desire now?
a- Have a deep understanding and strong bond with my family.
b- Happily married to a man who loves me and have beautiful children.
c- Actively involved in an academic setting, teaching at a college.
d- Be financially secure and independant, living in the heart of a metropolis.
7. Which one of the following would I put as a top priority in my man?
a- Has a brilliant mind and prestige.
b- Allows me to do whatever I want and loves me just the way I am.
c- Is devilishly handsome and charming.
d- Financially secured and able to give/provide me with whatever I want
8. I am not a morning person. What would be attractive for breakfast?
a- A continental breakfast buffet at a hotel.
b- Chinese "Yum Char" or "Dim Sum"
c- Waffles served with fresh fruits, orange juice, and milk.
d- Turkey ham melt sandwich with a hazelnut latte to go.
9. I would like to have more...
a- Patience
b- Good looks
c- Money
d- Intelligence
10. How do you think I would best describe myself?
a- Hot and sexy.
b- "I am just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love me."
c- Pessimistic introvert who suffers from agoraphobia.
d- Stubborn and will not compromise on my principles/what I want in life.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Burdened and Weary
I feel so... だるい (darui) of late. I could not find the right expression in English, but I hope the explanation given on the link helps shed some light. My body does not seem to cooperate with me at all. I feel tired, heavy, and if I have my way, I would just want to lie down all day. Hmm, a "beached whale" or a "tranquilized worm" would describe the lack of motivation my body has in moving about. Getting up in for the past 2 mornings has been tough. I feel extremely tired and could not complete my work out regime and the gym. Sluggish could also be used to categorize my week thus far.
Too many things have been going on in my head. It is like a ball of tangled up Christmas lights. I just need to figure things out and be on top of the situation, but there is just so much I do not know for sure and thus I feel rather lost. I am tired. The issue of faith then pops into my head again. Let me just touch on this a little to help me get it out of my system, clarifying my thoughts and shedding some light to the shadow.
I have a dream, a desire which I want to pursue. It is easier said than done as there is a lengthy process, and as everything that fits in this material world, there is the issue of having the resources to hold the whole thing together. I am not claiming that I am pious, righteous, or perfect that I am 100% right on this matter, but for the sake of discussion, let's just say that I have a good deal of experience to know that it is true.
Someone once told me that God will never put a desire in your heart that He does not intend to see it come through. Some might consider that it is His will or His plans. We have no problems agreeing to that if it is something good, beneficial, and benevolent towards all, but if it is on the contrary, many would fail to see that it is also an opportunity to learn, repent of our selfish intentions reflected in such desires, and draw closer to be more dependable on the grace of God. He never puts the impossible in our hands, nor will He place a challenge that is too big for us to handle. He is a good God, He loves us, and He is in control. He is not cynical or mean to place a desire to taunt us in, giving us hope but taking it all away later, or withdrawing His gifts for something less than the best He has to offer us. He is after all the God of love and grace, faithful and true.
Throughout the years, I have my desires to go places or do certain things, and never have I been let down by His faithfulness. As simple as my desires are, I understand who I am well enough to know that it is not something selfish or too self-centered. In fact, I have never imagined myself to possess such desires. It is not just a spur of the moment or something that suddenly came up. I have been thinking about this specific dream and desire since 3-4 years ago. Sharing this with the experienced and wise, they have shared their views that it is a good thing to do, and I have received countless encouragement and support. My understanding is that it is something I want to do in thanksgiving and accountability for all that was given to me. Nevertheless, I would not dare to say that it is a calling, for it is way too early in my life to see what God has planned for me.
But, let's say that IF it is a desire that God has planted in my heart, it is from Him, His plan or will per say, and I should have no doubts in saying that since it is from Him, He will provide as He is a God that keeps His promises. It might not be exactly how we wanted it (for our perceptions are only human that is tainted with selfishness), but it will turn out to be perfect in His eyes and will. The lives of many in history testify of such faithfulness, so why am in anxiety? He is perfect and will have everything in place that He does not contradicts Himself. He is the one same God that is consistent past, present, and future. Having experienced some of His goodness, where Bunny is your faith?
At times like such I am humbled for I am only human and the strength many see in me is a constant struggle in my heart and mind to fully let go in order to fully submerge myself in His grace. There are so many times when I know but I fail to understand, I act but fail to believe. A heart that is so stubborn is the reason for the struggles and burden in my mind. I know that only when I truly release it and commit it into the hands of the God who loves me things are made so simple and easy. What I can do is limited, and it is only when I can reduce myself to zero, allowing the Almighty to do His work that everything will come to pass in perfection.
I guess such struggles act as reminders of our sin and imperfections, and prompt us time and again that we are but only human. In these dark moments we look upwards and have hope. There is the rainbow reminding us of who God is and that we should have faith in His faithfulness. As we continue to seek after Him, only then we will have light, and by then our hearts, bodies, and mind would be weightless and soar with desires, dreams, and hopes that pleases Him.
Too many things have been going on in my head. It is like a ball of tangled up Christmas lights. I just need to figure things out and be on top of the situation, but there is just so much I do not know for sure and thus I feel rather lost. I am tired. The issue of faith then pops into my head again. Let me just touch on this a little to help me get it out of my system, clarifying my thoughts and shedding some light to the shadow.
I have a dream, a desire which I want to pursue. It is easier said than done as there is a lengthy process, and as everything that fits in this material world, there is the issue of having the resources to hold the whole thing together. I am not claiming that I am pious, righteous, or perfect that I am 100% right on this matter, but for the sake of discussion, let's just say that I have a good deal of experience to know that it is true.
Someone once told me that God will never put a desire in your heart that He does not intend to see it come through. Some might consider that it is His will or His plans. We have no problems agreeing to that if it is something good, beneficial, and benevolent towards all, but if it is on the contrary, many would fail to see that it is also an opportunity to learn, repent of our selfish intentions reflected in such desires, and draw closer to be more dependable on the grace of God. He never puts the impossible in our hands, nor will He place a challenge that is too big for us to handle. He is a good God, He loves us, and He is in control. He is not cynical or mean to place a desire to taunt us in, giving us hope but taking it all away later, or withdrawing His gifts for something less than the best He has to offer us. He is after all the God of love and grace, faithful and true.
Throughout the years, I have my desires to go places or do certain things, and never have I been let down by His faithfulness. As simple as my desires are, I understand who I am well enough to know that it is not something selfish or too self-centered. In fact, I have never imagined myself to possess such desires. It is not just a spur of the moment or something that suddenly came up. I have been thinking about this specific dream and desire since 3-4 years ago. Sharing this with the experienced and wise, they have shared their views that it is a good thing to do, and I have received countless encouragement and support. My understanding is that it is something I want to do in thanksgiving and accountability for all that was given to me. Nevertheless, I would not dare to say that it is a calling, for it is way too early in my life to see what God has planned for me.
But, let's say that IF it is a desire that God has planted in my heart, it is from Him, His plan or will per say, and I should have no doubts in saying that since it is from Him, He will provide as He is a God that keeps His promises. It might not be exactly how we wanted it (for our perceptions are only human that is tainted with selfishness), but it will turn out to be perfect in His eyes and will. The lives of many in history testify of such faithfulness, so why am in anxiety? He is perfect and will have everything in place that He does not contradicts Himself. He is the one same God that is consistent past, present, and future. Having experienced some of His goodness, where Bunny is your faith?
At times like such I am humbled for I am only human and the strength many see in me is a constant struggle in my heart and mind to fully let go in order to fully submerge myself in His grace. There are so many times when I know but I fail to understand, I act but fail to believe. A heart that is so stubborn is the reason for the struggles and burden in my mind. I know that only when I truly release it and commit it into the hands of the God who loves me things are made so simple and easy. What I can do is limited, and it is only when I can reduce myself to zero, allowing the Almighty to do His work that everything will come to pass in perfection.
I guess such struggles act as reminders of our sin and imperfections, and prompt us time and again that we are but only human. In these dark moments we look upwards and have hope. There is the rainbow reminding us of who God is and that we should have faith in His faithfulness. As we continue to seek after Him, only then we will have light, and by then our hearts, bodies, and mind would be weightless and soar with desires, dreams, and hopes that pleases Him.
Bunny Suicides
Ben gave me a book a few Christmas back and I loved it. By chance I came across pictures from the book of late and I would like to share with you some of my humor to brigthen up the mood I have been feeling. Enjoy the Bunny Suicides.
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