Major Monday Blues; Countered Only By Sweet Memories

I am pathetic. I look awful, feel terrible... I need help. ARRRGH!!!!

I finally had a weekend to catch up with my rest. Yep, it seems like it was forever since the last time I had time to myself. I spent my weekends just like any other before the month of March, but somehow, I did not enjoy it as much as I did in the past. I hate being alone, especially when I am pushed over the edge by emotions and waiting in anxiety.

Mom, Su-Anne, Godma, and Aunt BeeBee visited me in Macao from March 20-26. Even though I might not have expressed my joy of having them with me in the popular or conventional way, I was happy and thankful that they took some time out of their busy schedule to spend the Easter weekend with me. I had an idea of what a vacation is for each of my visitors, and I hope that they enjoyed their stay in Macao. Mom just wants to see what life is like in a different place, Su-Anne likes shopping and tourist must-dos, Godma loves shopping at the local market and preparing dishes from the ingredients found, and Aunt Bee Bee, well, I know that we enjoy our conversations together, oh yes, she loves bread too. Trying to fit all I can do for them in the week they were here, even though things did not work out exactly like what I had in mind, and tempers did flare a little, but honestly speaking, I really miss them.

I sneaked out of the office on a "sick leave" the Thursday they arrived. It was not a total lie as I did have a headache and wanted to nurse my jet lag. Would emotional distress count as a sickness too? Anyways, the following is a brief report of what the family did when they were here. I met them at my apartment around 2pm and we went out for congee miscellaneous Chinese snacks and dessert right after they left their luggage. We then covered the local street market at and made dinner at home. We then left for the Ruins of St.Paul and made our way through Senado Square and the Grand Lisboa Hotel before enjoying what Wynn has to offer. After we enjoyed the fountain show, we walked through the Lan Kwai Fong of Macao and making a brief stop of the golden statue of the Goddess of Mercy before heading home.

On Friday, I was at work while the family went sight-seeing at Fisherman's Wharf and the Macao Handover Gifts Museum before meeting up with me for a Portuguese lunch. They continued the day of sight-seeing by covering various tourist spots at St. Paul's and I met up with the at the square for dinner at my favorite restaurant, "Wong Zhi Kei."

On Saturday, we went over to Hong Kong and stayed with Aunt Marina, mom's friend from her days in school. Aunt Marina lives in a lovely apartment at Discovery Bay, a 25 minute ferry ride from the center of Hong Kong. We were not able to cover much due to the wet and rainy day we had, but spent time in shopping malls, Starbucks, and had roasted goose at the famous "Yoong Kei" before taking a stroll at the real Lan Kwai Fong.

We had much better weather on Sunday and managed to visit the big Buddha at Lantau Island. I was glad that the trip was possible as I could see how much it meant to Aunt Bee Bee. Godma was just as pleased as she could finally visit the place. It was her 4th visit to Hong Kong and in the past, she never did make it there. We covered the Buddhist pilgrimage spot and did our own pilgrimage to the outlet mall located at Tung Chung Station. Almost everyone of us got a new pair of sport shoes. Mom got herself a pair of funky K-Swiss. The shoes look so good on her. I would have been a little envious, but I have bought myself a pair of Nikes that are simply fabulous. We then had a scrumptious meal of Dim Sum, and went over to shop at Mongkok. Aunt Marina treat us to a classy TeoChew dinner before calling it a day.

Even though it was a holiday in Hong Kong, the family and I made it back to Macau early Monday morning. We were pissed off with the ordeal faced at the Macao ferry terminal, and it was the first time in a VERY long while that I unleashed my wrath in public. A rude mainland Chinese had his pride seriously attacked at when he offended Godma and myself. Anyways, I got myself to work while the rest of the family returned to my place before setting out for a day wandering the neighborhood. They found the wet market complex at Iao Hon, and Su-Anne and Godma got into a shopping frenzy at a local/Hong Kong fashion store that was having 80% off every item.

The team spent Tuesday visiting Taipa and the Venetian before heading back to the ZuHai boarder where they shopped till they dropped at Daiso, and did more shopping at that fashion house. During their stay here, I was treated to scrumptious meals. Godma is a superb cook and we enjoyed our meals with jokes and a little booze.

I would say that the week spent with the family was great in many levels. I got to know mom better as I see her with her friends, both past and present. I respect Su-Anne's patience with the ladies, Aunt BeeBee was fun to hang out with, and Godma is a whole bunch of fun, especially when it comes to shopping. I found out that I am unable to sleep on unfamiliar beds, and for the first time ever, I have gone through 40 hours with no sleep.

Now, I am back to the monotony of what life is for me in Macao.
Man! I really hate it. Please, please put an end to it soon.

Adapting to Silence

It has been a while since I was able to sit down and put my thoughts into words. My travels to UK and visitations from family has kept me busy. Having people to speak with is much desired as I hardly speak more than 5 minutes a day, thus blogging has been the outlet of my thoughts. Now, I return to the monotony of my life in Macao as before all the adventure began.

I am exhausted. It was not caused by the running about it going places or doing stuff with loved ones, but it has more related to waiting patiently for the next step. The first thing I do every morning is to check my email, but was left disappointed. I gather up hopes at the end of the day by telling myself "Tomorrow, tomorrow will be the day," but my hopes were dashed again the next morning. It has been a week now and this has added on to my lack of sleep and running about. Can someone please send telepathic messages to the Windy City for them to break the news to me soon?

I miss having people around me. Their presence provide me with activities to keep my mind occupied. Although I do not totally fancy their antics but I sure welcome the variety of outcome in every possible situation and conversation. It makes the voices in my head behave themselves as WE live among people. Waking up alone and returning to an empty apartment just let them out to play. Their debates and suggestions help me better understand the situation I am in, but I just want to wait in patience and peace. "Shut up, please. Shut up!"

Please, please let me know the confirmation to various details by this week. I am going nuts!

Someone mentioned that such institutions have a knack for making people wait in misery, but I guess I am willing to take part in this sadomasochistic dance to move forward to what I want to do. Come on...

I should take my mind off the subject and think of happy thoughts. Stay tuned for entries on the past 3 weeks of fun filled excitement.

A Tribute to a Brother

March marks a month of reunion and celebration. I will be leaving for UK within the week to reunite with family. Apart from spending time with the big sister, I will be there to witness the begining of a new journey in the life of my beloved big brother, Rajiv. In lieu of his wedding this March 15, allow me to pay tribute to one of the best guy I have known in sharing the memories I have of him. Enjoy the slideshow on the side panel. Do feel free to to click on it or visit the album for captions and leaving comments.

Cheers to you, Rajiv! May you be blessed with happiness!

Never Say Never

Each of us have preferences and wants in life. Interpreted in a different light, it reflects the degree and extent of arrogance and pride within us. It is through such choices that defines who we are; nevertheless, you will have to agree with me that certain preference and choices we make are not the most logical nor the best.

Taking the most common example of finding the other half: many of us would probably have a list of likes and dislikes. There is nothing wrong to be picky about it, after all, we hope to find someone who we will share the rest of our lives with. However, do seriously consider whether the criteria listed mirror sense or sensibility. Be it one's life companion or the food that one eats, thinking what is more important would also help define how much one is willing to compromise and one's ability to be reasonable.

I am no stranger to the above. There are so many things that I say that I would never do, but somehow I did give in. As a matter of fact, certain of such choices has a better outcome, and some did prove that it was my initial choice could be irrational and arrogant. Just to show that I am human and far from perfect, allow me to share with you incidents for a good laugh.

Pink is not my color. Growing up as a tom-boy, the color pink sends shivers down my spine. Choosing an item of that color is unthinkable. If I do have to wear something in pink, images of marshmallows start dancing in my head. However, for one of my birthday gifts, my close friends got together and gave me a two piece pink outfit. I thought I would never wear it, but out of a tease, I did wear it to a party once and many complimented that I look lovely in pink. Reevaluating myself in the mirror a few times, I have to agree with them. Now, although pink is still not my first choice, but I know I look good in it and would pick the color as it compliments me.

I would never tell a guy that I like him and it would take a long time into the relationship before I would actually tell him so. This is just me and sheer arrogance. I believe that it would be too "easy" for him and reflects how desperate I am. Most guys know once they have captured your heart or attention, they would start slacking. They have "caught" you, the thrill is gone, thus why bother to put in any more effort? If I do like him, I would be nice enough to drop him enough hints, but come on! I have a big ego and would never make the first move. But hey, circumstances do get the better of us at times, and I have relented on this before.

Also, I would never have a relationship with a guy who is considered good looking in the common eye. All men are heartless, and those who know that he is good looking are the worst. Maybe my precaution to getting myself disappointed and hurt is a wee bit higher than the average, but I have seen it happen enough times to be careful. Nevertheless, I give myself a slap on the wrist for this one too.

Finally, I hate cleaning. (Laughs! Yeah, right!) I dislike household chores and cleaning when I was growing up. I dread it when told that I have to clean stuff up. I would make the scene look neat, but would avoid actually picking up utensils to start cleaning rooms and clearing my stuff. However, I did sign up for a part-time job in cleaning once, and the moment I started, I was very particular in getting everything spotless. I am lazy, but when I do take time to clean, I would really get it done, Monica style!

So, yeah... Even though I do not fully agree with friends who are superstitious to say that if one voices out their dislike or preferences strongly, it would turn out otherwise, I would agree to the extent that circumstances do change a person. Seriously, never say never, for you really do not know what lies ahead.

Boredom Buster

My mind has not been in its best shape of late. I see myself wandering off and the bored feeling has drilled itself into the marrows of my spirit a number of times over the last week. Being not in the mood to work then, what do I do during my long hours in front of the computer?

Apart teasing my addiction of playing online games and catching up with my anime series, I do fiddle around surfing the net when I am not in the mood for blogging. Below are the list of things the bunny enjoys.

1. Google maps. "Brushing up on my geography" would be my excuse, but have you actually played around with this site and its features before? Apart from researches on places, I am amazed by the satellite images provided. I can see all the places I have been to and will be heading to. Zooming in as close as possible allows me to see as much as the airspace allowance given to these satellites. You can tease all you want, but I do enjoy the occasional fun of playing "Where's (location)?"

2. Reading. There is so much information at the touch of one's fingertips! You can Google-up almost anything under the sun. Wikipedia is another favorite site of mine. Just today, as I was eating breakfast, I was compelled to do a search on "century eggs." I enjoy a good bowl of congee/rice porridge (if is it not prepared by mom. She comes up with the weirdest ingredients and condiments that are not necessarily complementary to each other.) especially Century egg and Lean Pork congee (皮蛋瘦肉粥) that is very popular around this region. The urge of looking it up this morning was just to satisfy my curiosity whether century eggs are produced by dipping them the by-product of horses. Find out yourself! Hehehee...

3. Listening to readings, news and speeches. I remember my parents bought my sisters and I some books or magazines that came with cassettes when we were kids. I enjoyed listening to the stories as I read along silently tracing my finger on the text. During my English teaching days, I do encourage my students to such audio method to improve on their pronunciation, enunciation, speed, and intonation. I still practice this too. Years ago, a professor commented that she liked the way I read. Encouraged by that, I give credit to the free materials available that helped me a lot in improving my language skills.

The above are pretty much what I do use the Internet for. Occasionally, I do window shop around for good bargains, but it has been a while since I actually bought something. So, yeah, there is quite a lot to do staying online all day; nevertheless, I would choose the option of actually going somewhere doing something if possible.

What Lacks in Making the Real World Perfect is Background Music

Whether you are a drama queen or a romantic, there is no doubt that you would agree with this. I bet you there are moments when you just wished that music was resounding as you are doing something, just to make that moment more captivating and memorable. Being a huge theme park fan, I appreciate the music being played in the background makes reality of the moment fun. Just think about it, imagine how wonderful it would be taking a walk with your date down a promenade with a scenery and MUSIC!

I listen to music for relaxation and to quiet down the voices in my head during chill-out evenings and before bed. I am not a big fan of portable music as I would like to give my attention to my surroundings, especially when I am around familiar faces. However, I have started carrying music around with me since I started having long commutes on the silent trains in Japan. When I am not reading, it is often nice to have something to listen to nourish the soul. Over here, I generally have music with me all the time to shut out undesirable noises and use it in an attempt to modify reality.

The people culture over here still bums me out, and confronting this is a challenge, especially on my daily bus rides. I know this sounds absolutely arrogant, but I do prefer if people need to speak, they should speak with a suitable pitch, tone, and tongue, otherwise, silence is preferred. I am psychologically put off to the use of Cantonese. Due to my past experiences, somehow, I find the language rather loud and rude. Nevertheless, my ears are exposed to worse in the other Chinese dialects that are widely used by the bus commuters.

I am not being very approachable here in Macao. I just refuse to speak with others (except the few in my daily circle). It is a common sight to see this bunny with her plug-in earphones playing her favorite tunes drowning out everything around here, and having her sunnies on. Hear no "evil," speak no "evil," and see no "evil." I just happily psyche myself to take on my life here grooving to my own BGM.

Do You Know Me? Do You Really Know Me?

A few weeks back, I fashioned the following quiz out of boredom. I decided to post it here and invite you to have little fun with it, in hopes that I would get some response from my blog readers. Since my mailbox has not been receiving any good mails of late, I am doing this just to make myself feel better. Leave your score (?/10) and your comments, ok? Have fun!

1. Let's start with an easy one. What is my name?
a- SueMae Foo
b- Suemae Foo
c- Su May Foo
d- Sue Mae Foo

2. I wear two rings on my right hand all the time. Who were they from?
a- Boyfriend and sister
b- Myself
c- Dad and boyfriend
d- Mom and sister

3. What would make a perfect gift for me?
a- Spend quality time with me over a meal
b- My favorite books that reflect true love and humanity
c- Buy me the latest must-haves
d- Jewellery: Diamond and platinum, of course!

4. What is my favorite quote?
a- "Love me, love my fat."
b- "I am crazy, but not stupid!"
c- "Murphy's Law: If anything could go wrong, it would."
d- "Come on, be a man!"

5. If I am rich, and you could not find me, I would most probably be...
a- on a cruise around the world.
b- sitting at the local stock exchange, watching my money roll.
c- experiencing life in Italy.
d- back in my alma mater and second home, Japan.

6. I am given a wish. What would be my strongest desire now?
a- Have a deep understanding and strong bond with my family.
b- Happily married to a man who loves me and have beautiful children.
c- Actively involved in an academic setting, teaching at a college.
d- Be financially secure and independant, living in the heart of a metropolis.

7. Which one of the following would I put as a top priority in my man?
a- Has a brilliant mind and prestige.
b- Allows me to do whatever I want and loves me just the way I am.
c- Is devilishly handsome and charming.
d- Financially secured and able to give/provide me with whatever I want

8. I am not a morning person. What would be attractive for breakfast?
a- A continental breakfast buffet at a hotel.
b- Chinese "Yum Char" or "Dim Sum"
c- Waffles served with fresh fruits, orange juice, and milk.
d- Turkey ham melt sandwich with a hazelnut latte to go.

9. I would like to have more...
a- Patience
b- Good looks
c- Money
d- Intelligence

10. How do you think I would best describe myself?
a- Hot and sexy.
b- "I am just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love me."
c- Pessimistic introvert who suffers from agoraphobia.
d- Stubborn and will not compromise on my principles/what I want in life.