Another Personality Test

Sh@r tagged me on Facebook and I thought it has been a while since I blogged or shared anything about me... You might find the answers interesting, you might not. The first question and the one about the right job for me cracks me up.

GET TO KNOW YOURSELF BETTER

Q: Imagine that you are walking along a path. What do you see around you? A: A yellow corn field against a brilliant blue sky.

Your view on yourself:

You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.

Q: What do you see near your feet? A: A mirror

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for: You are not looking merely for a girl/boyfriend - you are looking for your life partner. Perhaps you should be more open-minded about who you spend time with. The person you are looking for might hide their charm under their exterior.

Q: Will you pick it up? A: Yes AAAplease

Your readiness to commit to a relationship: You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

Q: You walk along and find water. In what form is the water? A: A lake

The seriousness of your love:

You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Q: You see a key in the water and you pick it up. What does it look like? A: A beautiful antique key p

Your views on education Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

Q: Next you stumble across a house. What type of house is it? A: A beautiful old stone castle

The right job for you:

You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.

Q: What do you do next? A: Walk right on inside and explore

How do you view success:

You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

Q: Suddenly, something jumps out at you. What is it? A: A wizard

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Q: Because you are so scared you run until you see a wall blocking the path in front of you. There is a door, but it's locked, so you look through the key hole. What do you see? A: A beautiful house with a vast garden.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

You are Probably What You Wear

Sharing the following information with those who wish to know more about me. Tell me if you think it is true? I, for one, am intrigued with the answers.

Q: What is your style of clothes? A:Well groomed.

You're a romantic at heart. Sensitive and polite, you don't reveal your feelings to the world and prefer to contemplate your thoughts alone. Nevertheless, you care about others and make a loyal friend.

Q: What do you wear to bed? A: Underwear

You're a romantic person at heart. You are imaginative but your temper can sometimes get in the way of your happiness.

Q: Pick your favorite neckties. A: Dark colored neckties.

You enjoy being alone. You like to life the simple but good life, and you cherish your freedom. You are thoughtful, confident and uninterested in glamor.

Q: Pick your favorite belts. A: Black or brown belts.

You are a lonely and demanding person. You are hardworking as well as intelligent, and can be passionate when in love.

Q: Pick your shoes. A: Boots.

You are adventurous. You have high self-esteem and are able to keep your promises. You like to take chances and are always looking for new opportunities to make your life more exciting.

Q: pick your earrings. A: Small earrings made of precious stones.

You are probably a free spirit at heart with artistic talent. You are absolutely unique and are always coming up with lots of great ideas. Being happy is your most important goal.

Q: Which item do you like most? A: Necklaces.

The last analysis

You are probably a clever and adventurous person. You love to learn new things, and enjoy socializing with friends. Although you enjoy your freedom, you cherish peacefulness and like to spend time alone with your thoughts.

Bunny on Survival Mode

It has been a while. I know.
Busy is an understatement.
Know that I am doing okay.
Well, at least I have my health.
Grace surrounds me.
I live in faith.
There is hope that everything will turn out just fine.
I appreciate prayers.
I miss my loved ones.
I love teaching in class.
Emails and calls are welcome.
Support and encouragement forms the air I breathe.

How to maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice!

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries
with that.

4. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten
Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

5. In the Memo Field Of All Your Cheques, Write ' For marijuana'

6. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.

7. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat.

8. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.

9. Sing Along At The Opera.

10. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party
Because You have a headache..

11. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'

12. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling
'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'

13. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To
Have To Let One Of You Go.'

And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity

14. PICK UP A BOX OF CONDOMS AT THE PHARMACY, GO TO THE COUNTER AND ASK
WHERE THE FITTING ROOM IS.

In His Time

Within the first 10 days of the new year, I have receive wonderful news from the people around me. Babies are being brought into the world, my best friend is pregnant, buddies becoming a daddy, friends travelling to dream destination, etc. The joyous occasion continues with upcoming graduations and Colleen's wedding. Man! I should have bought a party dress or two in Glasgow. My many congratulations and best wishes to all.

I am happy for everyone, sincerely, but I can not deny the envy I have. I am a weak human who is extremely sensitive to my surroundings. As much as I am trying not to let peer pressure and the social environment affect me, I often fall into the temptation of comparing my life with others, especially in difficult times that currently casts its shadows in the west. Time, space, and age grip me at the ankle and I find myself struggling to soar in the area of my dreams. Yes, I am on the journey, a life-choice of my dreams, but no one ever said that it will be easy. I can't help but wonder whether my choice was the right one, whether I will have the happy occasions in life that my peers are celebrating now.

I am aware it was my choice and I should compare and whine less. What slapped me back to reality was the sermon at church yesterday and the book mom gave me. Giving my best in dealing with the challenges before me goes beyond mentioning, but the psychological and spiritual strengths should not be neglected. The logical and realistic approach is to analyze and emphasize what is important in every challenge. Strategy and systematic methods are used to tackle the problem, but instead of focusing how big the boulder is, I should be looking backwards remembering how BIG God is in His faithfulness throughout history.

There is no doubt that this year will be one that is more challenging that the rest that I have seen being affected by the political and economical currents. Yes, there is a storm ahead but I look towards the lighthouse, find my strength in the anchor of faith, that in His time all things will be made beautiful...

Time-Space Capsule

Sci-fi has often wowed us with innovative ideas. Even though what appears in writing or on the TV screen sometimes do make us snicker in disbelief, but we cannot deny that such ideas are indeed real in our modern age. Square boxes that opens in one's palm are spoken to and the message is transmitted to another far away is the cell phones that we vitally use everyday... So, who says science fiction is just made up nonsense? It is the human experience that brings all these ideas to life!

The use of the time-space capsule is very real in my life. I find myself transported to a different time and place everytime I enter and leave this machine. Of recent years, my time and space travel has brought me to really fun and interesting places. I enter this containment unit, be occupied with some light entertainment or dormant in my sleep, when I step out into open air, it is a different environment altogether. Living a rather hectic life, riding on an airplane is when I truly feel that I am on the switchboard of my-so-called reality.

Life seems to go on to the very moment that I board that plane. Everything seems so normal for me that by now, I hardly feel the excitement of my trip/travel until I am riding in an aircraft. It is then my brain winds down and reboots itself.

I woke up to the sound of snow shovelling trucks outside instead of the daily news broadcasted over the radio. My beddings feel weird, the duvet is not heavy enough. The bed lumpy and the ceiling looks so very close. Suzanne is not next to me. Looking out the window, it is snowing.

I arrived back in Chicago yesterday after a rather pleasant journey. (Well, my transit at Heathrow was a little hectic and two hours seemed hardly enough to get through the tight security while getting to different terminals. I didn't even get the chance to shop for the stuff I wanted at duty free.) Leaving Suzanne's apartment at 5:30am, my flight out of Glasgow took off at 7:15, and I arrived at O'Hare, clearing immigration at 12:45pm Chicago time. I hardly felt the 11 hours of travel. Colleen picked me up at the airport, we grabbed lunch on our way back, I unpacked a little and decided to go to bed early, well... it was my normal time for bed in UK.

This morning I got up around 6am (about noon) and I am now taking the morning easy easing myself into my "now" environment before the semester starts officially next week. I will head off work soon and try to get some stuff done today... I miss my time in Glasgow. However, I am refreshed and motivated to tackle almost everything that is coming my way.

Goodbye, My Love

After a wondrous relationship of almost 14 months, I bid you now, farewell.

Boots, my fabulous riding boots that I got from Harajuku. It took me a while to make you mine. I used to think that it was a steep purchase, but even Sunil said you look cool. You have accompanied me on dates and across the continents. You have been my favorite footwear and are my first pair of boots that I have worn out. Although rugged and torn, I was not willing to part with you... not until I have found another gorgeous pair of riding boots that could match in style and comfort... not to mention a pair that I could afford. Sad to say, I cannot bring you back with me. Don't be sad, you will not be alone in your final journey. Suzanne has a pair of boots that have served her well too.

With a tear in the eye, goodbye...

Have a Wondrous Year Ahead, Mom and Sis

Suzanne and I saw Mom and Su-Anne off at the airport today. After spending a month in the UK, mom and sis are back in the tropics and back to their normal life. It stuck me just before the duo headed to the security gates at the departure hall that we have no idea when will we gather together again. (Seriously, this is the first time I am not certain at all when will can I afford my next plane ticket.) Su-Anne suddenly turn all weepy during our airport-hugging-ritual and that got everyone all teary. Just then, it got me thinking...


Summary of our time spent together this holidays, our first Christmas together since the break of the millennium.

• I guess this could be considered a family vacation. Even though we arrived and leave at different times, we still spent 12 days together.
• Activities done as a family: Watched "The Drive of Life" together, camping out in front of the TV in the living room, took turns cooking and ate together, shopped in Glasgow, watched a ballet and a musical...
• We are still very much the same, maybe certain characteristics are amplified. I hope to change for the better this year, and steer my perceptions of the family towards, only, the good.
  
• Mom and I still need to work on communications. We just don't know how to talk to/with one another.
• The 4-way shared conversations were on the low. Suzanne was in KL for a while and the trio had loads of common things to talk about. I felt rather left out, but I have only myself to blame for not being around or keeping myself updated.
• I lost my cool once, surprisingly with Su-Anne. I am on vacation and thought that with family, I could do very well as I pleased. Apparently, I forgot that I had to always be careful and this time, incessant nags and disapproving tone of voice got to me. In her defense, it is an environmental factor, and yet my low-esteemed self was challenged. Ego and pride set off my temper.
  
• I am very thankful for the generosity of Mom, Suzanne and Su-Anne for making this holiday a good one. After having a good talk with Rajiv before meeting them, I have readjusted the viewing lenses I have for my family. They are great in their special ways, and in difficult times, I appreciate them more than ever.
• Note to self: Need to fugure out decent conversational topics to update my life with the family. The common justification I give myself is that I live in a very different world that I don't feel comfortable sharing about it even with family as it seems that every event is too self-centered whether it is a joy or a pain. Need to work on how to make life events not sound like a brag and yet enough that people would genuinely be interested enough to be concerned about it.
  

So, 12 days of season-induced-lackadaisical-gastronomical-adventure pictures proved that all of us are "well-rounded" and have enough stored up energy to tackle family business with the unique love we have for one another.

This is Too Much...

Second day into the new year
I woke up around 2pm
Partying was not what I have been doing
But the family has been camping in front of the Tele
Since the 30th we stretched long nights into the morning
Mom and my sisters chased after the DVDs Su-Anne brought
"The Drive of Life" a HongKong TV Drama
60 40-minute episodes of Cantonese theatrics on life
Though it is not my cup of tea
I joined in so that at least there would be an addition to what we did as a family this Christmas.
48-hours in my Pj-s
Beddings and pillows are now a feature of Suzanne's living room
Hopefully this madness would end tonight
As we finish the final 10 episodes

MADNESS

Christmas Day 2008

It was Christmas morning, the young ones rushed to the living room where the tree was and started attacking the presents as everyone gathered. Everyone is smiling and laughing in the cozy atmosphere while waiting for Christmas dinner as we enjoy the winter wonderland outside...

The perception of Christmases in the west was not actualized as how most of us would have pictured it. My Christmas this year had a distinctive flavor of its own.

I was awaken by the sound of the tele and joined the family in the living room around 8am. The skies outside was dark and grey. We just planted ourselves and fixed our eyes on the local broadcasts. Vege-ing was literally what we did all morning with an occasional break to get the morning snacks of cookies. Big sis played "super-host" as she started to fix Christmas dinner as mom, Su-Anne, and I watched the classic "My Fair Lady."

Christmas dinner was served with a wondrous spread of English Christmas trimmings surrounding the main course, roast lamb! We sat, we ate, and as every good Malaysian, we were done in record speed and even put away all tableware cleaned and dried within 2 hours! We wined and dined, and moved back into the living room for desserts and more TV.

At the beginning hours of the evening, we did presents and everyone was excited like children. I was not expecting much and therefore was euphoric to be receiving gifts from the family and the family to be. Suzanne got me a Christmas mug and sheep jammies, Su-Anne and Mark supplied me with cosmetics for the year, and mom fed the soul with one of the top selling motivational books in Malaysia for the year.

More food appeared as we took turns to nap in front of the entertaining box. Notions of playing games were soon scraped due to the hypnotic grip of Christmas programs. We later feasted on the leftovers at Christmas dinner and threw in some fresh salad and salmon. Scrumptious...

What I liked best about today was that we just lazed around ALL DAY in our pajamas! I guess we are well rested for the crazy shop-out tomorrow... Boxing Day! Time to get a bang on my buck, or rather pound on my Pound! (Hehe...)

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Ow---------yeow-------ch!

I could barely move.
I can't take off my clothes to shower.
I can't raise my arms.
All I can do is just lay down and whale around.

My sis' apartment is great.
It would be super if someone could turn the thermostat up.
I snuggle in bed and baby my jet-lag.
The morning passed,
My body still aches.
Running to across the terminal at Chicago sure turned me into a flake.

I find my way to the library and the grocery store,
My memory of this place has not faded at all.
Before another nap to nurse the body pain,
I got myself some ingredients for baking,
and managed to fry my Mac charger.
I guess I have to be content with a PC.

Ouch and yeowch is all I can say,
After rubbing analgesic cream it still is the same.
I need to start baking,
and call a few people...
I need to pack again later
for my brother awaits at Birmingham tomorrow.

Is this a poem?
This definitely does not rhyme.
I am in pain so I will try this sometime again.

This is No Joke

I am now blogging to you from Manchester Airport in the UK. Yep. My vacation officially starts now, but not without a story in itself to tell.

It was just my luck to be flying out of Chicago on a snow day. No, let me correct myself, a SNOW DAY! As much as I like winter and the snow, it is ridiculous how an afternoon of snow caused a normally 30 minutes drive to O'Hare to be a absurd 3 hour inch in traffic. Every mile seems like forever.

My flight was to leave at 5:35pm, after wrapping everything up on campus, Brian picked me up at 3. The snow started snowing around 10:30 and would only cease in the wee hours of the morning. We journeyed steadily in the snow but the back up of traffic started soon after we were on the highway. It was a LONG drive.

Looking at the weather outside, I reckon that flights would be delayed, if not canceled. What mattered more to me was arriving at the airport safe and see how things go from there. I arrived around 6:15pm but the flight was delayed till 6:40. The lady at the counter quickly checked me in, but was unable to check my luggage in. So, thank God I packed light. I pieced my backpack together and begged the security officer to let me pass. I battled through security check with my heavy bags, tore the paper bag that was holding my hand luggage (and other stuff) (Good thing I had thought of bringing my grocery tote bag). I was apologizing profusely and was thankful that only my lotion and facial wash had to be junked.

I raced to the gate with the heavy load of close to 14kg on my back and my original carry-on of maybe 5-7kg. (Hey, I am packing for 3 weeks! It is a huge accomplishment that I am not lugging around the regular travel bag on wheels with all my clothes and another pair of boots.) It was not an easy tasks as I had to keep switching my bag to different hands when they started turning blue from the weight. Again, Lady Luck must be bursting with laughter when my gate WAS the farthest from the security check point. This would be the second time that the entire flight was waiting for me. I was panting and undoubtedly embarrassed when I got to my seat. I had to dismantle my backpack again in order to stow everything away. The last time I remembered sweating like a pig in winter was on my ski trip. It took me close to another half hour just to catch my breath and calmed myself down. Luckily, the plane was waiting for the staff and pilot who was also stuck in traffic. Everyone sat and waited in the airplane. We finally took off at 7:35pm.

After doing the math, it would only be logical that I will arrive at Manchester for my transit late. My flight for Glasgow was scheduled at 8:35am local time, we arrived from Chicago at 9am. I made my way to the American Airlines office and they arranged me on the next available flight north that departs at 2:40pm. I might not have packed my address book and had to go through desperate measures to get Suzanne's mobile number as yes, silly me, I forgot to write it down. Hallelujah there is free wireless and I had my computer with me.

THUS, I have another 4 hours to burn till my 1 hour flight before I get to reunite with Suzanne. I repacked my stuff and left the minimum on my now 1 carry-on. I don't have my charger with me thus I think watching a movie on my MacBook would not be a good idea. Since I had a nap on the plane, I reckon I would do just fine until dinner tonight. It is now 4:4oam Chicago time... I will talk to you guys later. Pray that the next leg would be nothing but smooth sailing. Thank God I made it this far with my sanity intact.

Peace & Serenity of the Season

"Refreshed" is a word that found its way back to my mind this morning as I climbed out of bed. It has been a long while since I last remember having a good night's sleep. Although I have only slept for a few hours, the stress and anxiety of the Fall semester was washed away like the snow by the rain on Saturday. Like outside, my senses are crisp and fresh. The silence of the room was peaceful, but I do miss Colleen, B, and Nem.

The morning ritual before heading out the door was accompanied by the carols sung by Celtic Woman. Although warm from the shower, cold was felt by every bone once I stepped out of the apartment. 15C? 15F? I must have missed the minus sign before the numbers as I glanced at my PC before putting on my jacket. Cold has a new definition. When the surface of exposed skin starts to hurt in a burning pain and when I feel like putting on another coat or two, that would be cold. At least, I know that I should not hesitate to reach for my coat as the lake-effect only guarantees that it would reach the low of -30C at the peak of winter here.

Focusing on things that would keep me warm, I think of the relaxing evenings I have had since Friday. My weekend movies were adjusted to supply the commercialized festivities of Christmas with movies on the TV. While the TV is on, my hands were busy with the knitting needles. For a change to something more intelligent, I would pick up a book and read while being lulled by soft carols. Maybe I should put in some time for catching up with my correspondences too.

It will be another night of "Suemae-time" tonight. I look forward to heading back and whipping up myself something yummy before I collect my thoughts and stuff. Pray that the snow storm tomorrow will be VERY kind and not to hinder any travel plans.

Turning Violent... (grr...)

Being a moody person is only half of the description about me. The other half is that I am a highly-stressed walking time bomb. My crazy antics are just mini let-gos that stabilizes the internal madness; otherwise, this bunny might just explode and landing her in an asylum.

I found out that sugar does wonders. And since I have not been having sugar since the beginning of the month... it is war between my Jekyll and Hyde in the pressured times of the Finals week.

How could it be possible to avoid sweets at this time of the year? Christmas is just around the corner and it is a season of baked goods galore. There are bursts of parties here and there and sugar, candy, cakes, and cookies are the main spread. Great... just great!

I had a plan on steps to complete my semester while trying to maintain composure and to wrap it up well. It is a wonder that with the heavy course load and lifestyle I am able to maintain a good grade. (I wonder why does it matter so much? Well, I know the reasons... I am just a very disturbed person with the expectations I set for myself based on my role and identity I walk with.) My outburst on Facebook has brought out the good souls of this season. Although I can't do anything more, I just hope that the damage will be minimum. I am stressed out enough with an elective class that I think, due to the miscommunication in grading choice, is already screwing me over.

Anyways, I am done. I am free! Well, technically, I still have lots to sort out in my personal and financial side of things. Nevertheless, I am glad that I can now start to enjoy the season and let the excitement that leads to my Christmas break build up now.

The no-sweets diet is not really working when I substitute my stress-binge eating with food like cheese and sausages. *Sigh* I went to the opposite polar and started stuffing myself with high-sodium foods. Believe it or not, last night I had my first instant noodle since, possibly, summer! That made my instant noodle break lasted for more than 3 months. Imagine that!

I find myself singing this under my breath...

Baby, It's Cold Outside
*click title for music*

I really can't stay - Baby it's cold outside
I've got to go away - Baby it's cold outside
This evening has been - Been hoping that you'd drop in
So very nice - I'll hold your hands, they're just like ice
My mother will start to worry - Beautiful, what's your hurry
My father will be pacing the floor - Listen to the fireplace roar
So really I'd better scurry - Beautiful, please don't hurry
well Maybe just a half a drink more - Put some music on while I pour

The neighbors might think - Baby, it's bad out there
Say, what's in this drink - No cabs to be had out there
I wish I knew how - Your eyes are like starlight now
To break this spell - I'll take your hat, your hair looks swell
I ought to say no, no, no, sir - Mind if I move a little closer
At least I'm gonna say that I tried - What's the sense in hurting my pride
I really can't stay - Baby don't hold out
Ahh, but it's cold outside

I simply must go - Baby, it's cold outside
The answer is no - Ooh baby, it's cold outside
This welcome has been - I'm lucky that you dropped in
So nice and warm -- Look out the window at that storm
My sister will be suspicious - Man, your lips look so delicious
My brother will be there at the door - Waves upon a tropical shore
My maiden aunt's mind is vicious - Gosh your lips look delicious
Well maybe just a half a drink more - Never such a blizzard before

I've got to go home - Oh, baby, you'll freeze out there
Say, lend me your comb - It's up to your knees out there
You've really been grand - Your eyes are like starlight now
But don't you see - How can you do this thing to me
There's bound to be talk tomorrow - Making my life long sorrow
At least there will be plenty implied - If you caught pneumonia and died
I really can't stay - Get over that old out
Ahh, but it's cold outside

Baby it's cold outside

Who Do I See?

Could the effectiveness of effort only be limited to specific things in life? Maybe I am trying too hard? Action based on reason might not be logical after all.

I follow my heart and do what I know would make me happy, the feeling I get when I know the other smiles from the heart from the things I do. Never would I want to force anyone to do anything they do not want to. I guess being indifferent would be the safest route. But would it not be hypocritical if my thoughts does not match my actions? The conversations of care on concern would not be sincere if they do not correspond to the maintenance of a relationship. Why should there be a masquerade of true feelings? Could sincerity be that suffocating? Maybe I am just with those who do not understand me at all? Or could it be that the problem is with me?

The thought came like a slap of cold air. Only recently did I find out the reason/concept behind "Your thoughts are too heavy for me." Maybe being my perfectionist self in doing all I can to making others happy might not be a good idea after all. But could it be wrong to do all I can in order not to let every possible opportunity go to waste? Back to basics, I can not make everyone happy, nor make them understand and accept me the way that I am.

I guess I should go back to being the ice-queen and not care too much about the matters of the heart. Let them come, as D says. Why should I even do anything? However, I can't help it if I find my actions responding to my rational of social order and etiquette. I am not trying too hard, it just comes naturally. Do I really make such a bad girlfriend? Am I being myself causing discomfort to others? Do I repel the opposite sex that badly? Am I that intimidating as a female? Should I seriously consider the role of the frail damsel in distress?

A tragedy led me to contact V. We talked for a while and I guess I am slowly unwinding the knots and considering the guys I have dated. Funny enough, after my first official relationship, V has pretty much influenced how I treat guys who came after me. "Give the guy a chance if he tries so hard." "Why can't the girl make the first move?" It goes against what I would normally do, "Why bother when I know he is not the one?" It echoes arrogance but it is indeed scary when I am right. The chance was given and I opened myself to possibilities. It was not a waste of time, I did learn something through all of these relationships.

Be it a joke or not, V mentioned that we were meant to be together right from the start. I chuckled. Maybe, maybe not. Our time spent apart and the people we encountered in life help mature us to be the person who is meant for one another. Who knows? Although we have feelings for one another, time was the factor. Things would be almost perfect if we could speed up time that allows us to mature.

Getting back in contact would do us both good. Talking to V always helped me sort my thoughts out. Just like the good ol' times of high school. I look forward to chatting with him again. Buddies indeed.

The Death of Me

Fine. This phrase maybe a little over used this semester. Wait. I have only used it once for my strategy files and idea box project for Language Arts. Thus I guess it will be ok for me to use it again for my final project for Middle School Methods. I am really not in the mood to work on this research paper and I have been procrastinating since I completed all my other assignments for the semester since Wednesday.

One week left till the end of the Fall semester at Judson. Completing all written assignments, I have only my finals for Children's Literature on Monday. I have my journal article presentation prepared for ESL Methods. All my assignments are handed in for Language Arts and my finals is waiting for me on Wednesday. And all I have left for the entire semester is this research paper for middle school methods. The pain is to prepare 35 corresponding questions to the 10 chapters of the textbook, interview some middle school teachers, compare and contrast the answers with the text book ideal, make the connections, and conclude with a grade for the middle school in question. Whoopie.

I am not in the mood for work. I want sweets and candy. The cookies and cakes are beckoning... Argh! Well, just a week to go. God, please help me.

On the bright side, I did pass my bilingual transitional test! We had "Storm the Dorm" on Thursday where staff and faculty members surprise students in the dorm bringing cookies and snacks to encourage the "studying" students. I had a short chat with Dr. C, no, Santa, and my roomies and I got some CDs and beef jerky. We had a Christmas banquet, but the formal dressed-up Christmas events happened over the weekend with the need for purchased tickets. Although I am on a no baked goods/cookie/candy diet since Monday, I did stuff myself with sausages and cheese at the home party at Dr. S' place. B had her senior design show on Friday adn I loved her work. The snow is beautiful and I am thinking that the campus will be white until it gets warm again.

Enough of slacking, I need to concentrate... Gah~ This middle school paper will be the death of me.

Staring at a dot

I am trying to focus. Although the beauty of the snow outside is mesmerizing, my body seems to be playing a mean trick on me. I have no idea why it is ready to go back to bed again 2 hours after I am up in the morning and the energy level just crashes down hill from there. I am thankful I don't have the sniffles, but work needs to be done without me falling asleep, literally, everywhere at anytime.

Judson had its Christmas Banquet yesterday. I would say it could be rather grand indeed. It is the first time I actually enjoyed the food at the cafeteria, more than my only favorite of spinach quiche as everything else is just nasty. They got the salmon right, and I was even considering getting thirds for the juicy beef tenderloin. It was scrumptious and a little rare, just the way I like my meat. The dessert spread was rather festive too and they had a chocolate fountain. With all the decorations up and the life background music provided, everything would be close to perfect if people we a tinge more dressed up.

At the upper commons, there was a live jazz band playing as students took pictures with Santa Claus under a huge tree and students sticking their raffle tickets into bags to win gadgets like iPod touch, Wii, toys, tickets, and gift cards. JianHui gave me her share of raffle tickets, but since I had no email, I guess I didn't win anything after all.

Nevertheless, I am rather pleased with myself as I have completed all my course work for 2 of my classes now. I just have those of 2 more classes and 2 finals lined up next week. I will also be the coolest teacher in town as I received a bag of goodies for my last day as a teacher's aide. I am now equipped with cool posters and teacher-y stationery. I love it! The boys were also super sweet in signing a card for me. Zac and Ian even made me paper snowflakes with personal messages on them. The male kind are still sweet and cute at the age of 10...

Well, back to completing homework today as I took the entire night off yesterday catching up with Bleach and I made some fruit jelly. It is a strict no sweets diet till Christmas but fruit doesn't count. Yeah, tease all you want but I need to be cordially social at the class get-together this afternoon.

Let it snow, Let It Snow, LET IT SNOW!!!

Snow has been in the weather forecast all day. As a matter of fact, while watching TV earlier, we are given warning to be alert for snow storms that expires at noon, December 1. It doesn't matter. I love snow.

As the snow piles up outside, I wish it could cover all that is in my mind right now. How nice would it be if everything could be reset to a blank canvas. But then again, would I really want that to happen? Apart from the sight and stillness that comes with every snowfall, I love the feeling and sound of snow crunching beneath me everywhere I go. Crunch, crunch, crunch... if only my worries would go away.

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I found out more about myself over the last week. I am an obsessive compulsive person when it comes to crafts and decor. I spent the whole of Tuesday morning putting up the Christmas decorations at work and was on the decorating train and started cutting out paper snowflakes at Christina's prompt. I had fun. Now, visiting the place feels like walking into a party.

Under the stress I am facing in wrapping up the semester, I guess having a pair of scissors and paper handy would be a good idea. After Thanksgiving dinner, I started making more paper snowflakes. For a break on Friday, I folded Swedish Christmas Stars. And within 2 days, I have almost completed a cover for my laptop. I also helped with the kids program at church on Sunday, making crafts, decorating cookies, and serving hot chocolate. It was a good break from working on homework throughout my Thanksgiving break.

It's December. Man! This year went past fast. There is so much I would like to say but I need my head to be focused in wrapping up the semester. 2 weeks to go. I would appreciate prayer, not only for myself, but for all those who will be traveling this month.

THANKSGIVING

This holiday is a very intriguing concept to me.

(1) Historically, it would be a day of remembering how the Indians helped the pilgrims settle in the new land, teaching them how to grow corn and the sharing of food. But the immigrants killed most of the natives and drove them out of the land of their forefathers.

(2) People now have the whole traditional Thanksgiving spread. (I had the chance to have 3 Thanksgiving meal: on campus, at church, and at Colleen's place.) Turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce, gravy, mashed potatoes, pumpkin pie/dish, green bean casserole... It is a day where people stuff themselves as they stuffed the bird.

(3) Some hold this day sacred as they frown that commercial places have placed Christmas decorations once the Halloween decor came down. In fear that people would forget this important day, some insist on only having the tree put up, listening to carols... after the Thanksgiving meal or during Thanksgiving weekend.

(4) Black Friday, the day after Thanksgiving and the Christmas shopping begins. An American shopping phenomenon when the sales in the stores cross over from the red to black. It is this time of the year where retail stores make the most of their sales during the pre-Christmas season. Stores have sales beginning from 4am to 1pm! I guess this would resemble the British 'tradition' of Boxing day.

Thanksgiving was a welcomed break as Judson started the holidays from Wednesday. Even so, I am glad because this gave me a few days off classes and I could work on my homework and assignment before the crashing final 2 weeks of the semester. Thus, this year, though honored that I was extended a few invitations to spend my first "real" Thanksgiving, I spent it at Colleen's as she was the closest to family I have here. It was fun to be in a home and spent the whole day stuffing myself. The appetizers were served at 3 and dinner at 5. After dinner, there was a huge spread of dessert and we had a gingerbread-house-making/decorating competition. The 21 of us who came for the dinner had fun being kids again. After we got back to campus, my roommates and I put up the itty-bitty Christmas tree we had and I cut out some paper snowflakes for decorations and the windows.

I do have much to be thankful for this year. Who would have imagined that I would actually be in Chicago right now? I am thankful that God plants a desire in my heart and He provided according to His will. It is not easy at all, but I am learning to rely on His grace and faithfulness. I am a little bummed as I am focusing on my selfish wants and fail to see how blessed I am in the big picture. I have my health, my stubborn energy to press on with my work/studies, little to no money for indulgence, and I have wonderful people placed in my life. I need help with a few other areas of my life which I am having little to no faith now... but yeah, in all things and circumstances, be thankful upon the Lord, for He is great.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!